Only a Glimpse, Though...

Well, this is a new thing that I've just started in hopes that I will forget that I have homework. I have a website that I update about once a year... and I can't remember what the link is. I think its www.webspawner.com/users/evenstareleni/index.html Hopefully, this will not become like that, although I foresee great potential for it to be neglected. I have avoided things like livejournal and xanga, because they are more journal-ish, and I can't do online journals. I'm too busy stalking other people's journals to keep one of my own. Not to mention my personal journal that I write by hand would get neglected and/or jealous. I also have a subprofile on my instant message screenname, in which I started a journal last year and managed to complete something like seven entries. However, the profile part of the subprofile I have managed to keep updated, as well as a profile at www.thefacebook.com. So you see, there's really no reason for me to start a blog, except on a whim. And because I saw that someone had something called a "God Journal" in which they posted their thoughts about God, and their doubts, and questions, and other things. I thought it would be cool to give it a try and do the same thing. While I'm not going to be presumptuous and say that I have no doubts or questions, I will say that I probably will post more general thoughts or things that God is teaching me, rather than my doubts. Although, if something comes up, I have no reservations with posting them here for people to comment on.

So... my first order of business. I feel a little bad because not too many people at college know I'm a Christian. This year, people have been asking a little bit more than in the past, hopefully that means that my lifestyle has changed enough that they can see something different in me. Hopefully that means I don't come across as a goody-two-shoes-who-doesn't-go-to-parties-or-get-drunk, and so by default, they ask if I'm "religious." It could also be that in an election year, everyone is wondering who everyone else is voting for, and naturally, everyone assumes that if you're gonna vote for Bush, you must be religious, because they can't imagine any other reason to vote for him. So anyway this first "blob" is about how it bothers me that not too many people know for sure about my beliefs. But I try to be sensitive to their own religions, and I try not to put stuff in my profiles that only church people would understand. I want to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone grew up with their mothers dragging them by the ears into Sunday school. Okay, it wasn't THAT bad. But the problem I'm worried about is that by being "sensitive," I'm hiding my God from them. Its hard to tell if I'm finding the right balance or not. So if you are reading this, and you think I'm typing stuff that only I can understand, let me know so I can put it in language people understand. afterall, this IS a blog titled "A glimpse of my inner life." If you can't get that glimpse, its not doing its job, is it?

ok, "blob" number two. [blurb clarifying my vocabulary: I refer to "blog" as this whole thing that all my posts go on so that you can read them and post if you so desire. I use "blob" to indicate a single topic on my blog, although some posts can contain more than one blob, as in this entry. a blurb is anything i put in parentheses- round parens ( ), square brackets [ ], or that squiggly one { } that's not in the dictionary but everyone knows what it is.]

anyway, blob number two, second attempt. this is the first one about what God is doing in my life. My church had this guy come last weekend. His name is Brent, and he is an all-around theater guy. He wrote a musical, and starred in it, and now he travels all around the country (and at my church) putting on this one man show, with his wife as the sound/lightboard operater/costumer/road crew techie. She also homeschools their two girls who have contributed to some of his plays, and have about four lines in the play he did at my church. It was the first exposure I have had involving professional christian theater. Sure, the stuff I did in high school was *supposed* to be professional quality, but its high school. I had other stuff on my mind. This guy does this as his profession... except his payment is by donation only. Its his life's work, but he's completely relying on God for everything. He's a theater missionary, and I've never heard of anyone doing that before. So it was very surprising.

the second thing that intrigued me about the musical, is that he involved about 15 members of the congregation in it (including me). The play is about Billy Sunday (a preacher from the early 1900s). I was one of the people who was dressed in vintage costume through out the whole play, and came forward in Billy Sunday's altar call to accept God into their life. It was really a very unique experience, as I've never been to a show where the lines between audience and cast were so blurred. It really made it possible for me to experience history in a way I didn't know was possible. And I think that's what made it a powerful show. It allowed God to speak to me in a new way.

So, if I can draw this blob out any longer... what I felt God saying to me is that I have a unique place in the theater world in store for me. I don't know what I want to do with my theater degree, but this weekend, God promised that it would be different. Heads would turn and people would say, "You're doing what??!" I've never been interested in Broadway or Hollywood. But since I haven't decided yet what I want to do, I have allowed people to write my life-script in their heads, and assume I'm headed for fame and fortune. What a surprise that will be for them when their little star actress changes the script mid-performance. I know that my choice of theater as a major is not an accident, not something I picked up on one of my right-brain whims. and when God finally shows me what Plan A is, its going to make ripples, because the theater world is so ripe for God to come in right now.

Anyway, that's my first attempt at a blob in my newly made blog, complete with four blurbs. Comments anyone?