I know that it will go away, and that I will eventually become successful and happy.

But right now I feel like I have failed.

I want to sleeeeeeeeeep....

If you are too impatient to wait for the results of the Indian home remedy, the European home remedy, the Hippy home remedy, the Christian home remedy, and the Eastern Philosophies home remedy, because you are tired and you can't sleep, try a modern take on the Eastern Philosophy of Good Energy And Positive Thoughts, by making yourself a chocolate cake.

vampire insurance

I just ate half a bulb of garlic. You all might want to steer clear of West Milford for a while.

I can't sleep and only got 2 hours last night, so I need something to keep myself from remembering I'm tired. So I'm going to explain why you want to steer clear of Milly.

Garlic contains strong smelling sulfur compounds. When you eat them, your body metabolizes them into allyl methyl sulfide. This cannot be digested and it enters the bloodstream. It is carried to the lungs and skin where it is excreted. That is why, when you eat garlic, you smell like West Virginia.

Now, why did I try to make myself smell like West Virginia? Because a double inner ear infection indicates infection. Last time my ears hinted that there was an infection (almost a year ago) I conquered it with the Indian home remedy Ginger Honey Concoction, the European home remedy Garlic In Oil In Tin Foil With A Little Botulism Sprinkled In, the Hippy home remedy Lots And Lots Of Green Stuff, the Christian home remedy Prayer God And Anointing Oil, and the Eastern Philosophies home remedy Good Energy And Positive Thoughts.

This time around I did all that but left out the garlic, because botulism is no longer in style. But now my ear infections are full-fledged and I can't really take the pain. So, I decided "West Virginia here I come, and bring on the ajoene and allicin." What's that? you ask, and Why did you put scientific words in the same sentence as West Virginia? Aren't they antithetical?

Sure but I'm sick, in pain, and have 2 hours of sleep under my belt and am going to say whatever I darn well please in my blog. Allicin is a compound with antibacterial properties that is created in garlic when you crush it, as a chemical reaction between aliinase and aliin. However, there's not much of it and its not stable, but darn it all, I'm going to ingest whatever IS there. Ajoene is also antimicrobial and is more stable, because it is formed when three allicin molecules bond.

Ahhh I just want to go to sleeeeeeeeeepppppp....

Its back...

I couldn't sleep last night, my throat is killing me, and my ears hurt. Instead of going to church, I was going to sleep. But now I can't sleep cause I'm in pain. I may as well go to church, but everyone already left me at home.

I'm going to OD on herbs that are known to be antiseptic, antibacterial, and antibiotic. If I don't kill myself with them, or bring back my over-active immune system allergies, I'm going to get rid of whatever this is.

I am feeling better

They were right, it was roughly a 24 hour thing. I took a long hot bath last night to fix my sore neck and shoulders and then put a hot pack on it. Its mostly better, but still a little sore.

That doesn't stop me from doing my favorite thing ever: researching facts about plants and herbs. Today's topic from my favorite website: chocolate!

Interesting fact #1: "A study reported by the BBC indicated that melting chocolate in one's mouth produced an increase in brain activity and heart rate that was more intense than that associated with passionate kissing, and also lasted four times as long after the activity had ended."

So guys, when you get her a box of chocolates on that special day, and she kisses you... she's not really excited about you. She's excited about the high she's going to get from the chocolate you gave her.

Interesting fact #2: (Explanation- carob is a commonly used chocolate substitute.) "The term 'carat', the unit by which diamond weight is measured, is also derived from the Greek word kerátiōn (κεράτιων), alluding to an ancient practice of people in the Middle East weighing gold and gemstones against the seeds of the carob tree. The system was eventually standardized and one carat was fixed at 0.2 grams. In late Roman and early Byzantine times the pure gold coin known as the solidus weighed 24 carat seeds (about 4.5 grams). As a result, the carat also became a measure of purity for gold. Thus 24 carat gold means 100% pure, 12 carat gold means the alloy contains 50% gold, etc."

So guys, when you get her jewelry, just remember you can't do it without the carob tree!

(Incidentally, the seeds of the carob tree are also called locust beans. It is sometimes thought that the references in the Bible to John the Baptist eating locusts and honey are actually referring to locust beans and honey, which seems more palatable to me.)

And speaking of the Bible, I found an awesome article at cracked.com Just beware of language, for all you sensitive people. I would rate this PG-13.

Why pandas are going extinct...

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=24330952

Imagine I am a male panda. I look at a female panda. Instead of thinking, "yes, this is something I want to mate with," I think, "Oh how cute, I want to cuddle." Pandas are going extinct because they are busy being cuddly instead of sexy.

Cooties

Technically, I have a fever even though my temperature at the moment is 98.5. My normal healthy temperature is actually below average for most people, at 96.8. So I'm 2.7 degrees high. Actually, 1.7 degrees. Apparently having a fever doesn't change how bad your math skills are. I'm pretty sure I hit a hundred last night though. It was crazy. The walls in my room were pulsing.

Supposedly this thing is only a 24-hour bug so I should be feeling better an hour ago, but I still have a pounding headache, and for some reason, my shoulders also have a headache. I don't really know how to explain that but its not just achy shoulders, its like there's a headache IN my shoulders. Whatever.

My former roommate, Kat, put this video in her blog, and it really cheered me up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6ylxWcwkUM

It happened...

My body has finally succumbed to the illnesses surrounding me. I feel like I am going to die. I'm going to bed.

burning spirit

Jeremiah 5:14
Therefore this is what the Lord God Almighty says: "Because the people have spoken these words, I will make my words in your mouth a fire and these people the wood it consumes."

God goes on to tell Jeremiah what words to say to them. I am having the same sensation, my only problem is I don't know what the words are. I feel like my spirit or soul is on fire, with some great revelation burning to get out of me, but I don't know what it is. Its slowly sinking lower into the pit of my stomach, and its not heartburn, even though it is so strong spiritually or emotionally that its nearly physical.

something different

I needed a break from sick people and cats so I went to Steve's only to discover him coughing and wheezing. I'm tired of writing about it though so here's something different, in light of the number of female babies being born or in the works.

Rodney Atkins:

The Declaration of Independence, Think I could tell you that first sentence But then I’m lost.
I can't begin to count the theories I've had pounded in my head That I forgot.
I don't remember all that Spanish Or the Gettysburg address, But there is one speech from high school I'll never forget:

(Chorus)
Come on in boy sit on down And tell me about yourself. So you like my daughter do you now?
Yeah we think she's something else, She's her daddy's girl, Her momma's world. She deserves respect; That’s what she'll get, Ain’t it son? Hey y'all run along and have some fun, I'll see you when you get back. Bet I’ll be up all night Still cleanin' this gun.

Well now that I’m a father, I’m scared to death one day my daughter Is gonna find That teenage boy I used to be, That seems to have just one thing on his mind.
She’s growin' up so fast It won't be long before I’ll have to put the fear of god into Some kid at the door.

(Chorus)

Now it's all for show, Ain’t nobody gonna get hurt; It’s just a daddy thing- And hey, believe me, man it works

(Chorus)

Son, now y'all buckle up and have her back by te- let's say about nine...thirty. Drive safe.

Its all my brother's fault.

Normally, the cats sleep about 30 hours in any given 24-hour period. But Jack has been sleeping a little more lately and when the girls were playing, he didn't seem too interested.

I watched him for a while, as he sat purring, and realized his nose seems rattly, like its congested. He has goobers in his eyes and every once in a while stops purring long enough to swallow... sound like post-nasal drip to anyone? The clincher was when he started a wheezing cough, which was only a one time thing, and I haven't heard it since. I put some echinacea drops on his paw so he would lick it. I don't think he liked that.

The bottom line is, I know people can catch viruses from animals... can cats catch viruses from people?

Ooo eee ooo ahhahh

...Ching chang wada bada bing bang...

So my brother took his antibiotics and his sinus infection left. About a week ago, he finished the pills.

This morning, the phone rang... all I really wanted to do was sleep. I turned the ringer off, and it rang again. It was my brother, calling from his bedroom. He wanted a massage because he was sick.

Me: What's wrong?
Him: I'm sick.
Me: Yeah but what's wrong with you?
Him: I feel like I'm dying.
Me: Well there's no cure for death, so I don't know what to tell you.
Him: I have to go lie down or I'm going to collapse.

So I wrung it out of him that he's not dizzy, he's feeling faint, has a fever, a sore throat, a headache, and a runny nose. On top of that, mom's not home and the cats are crying to be fed. So I groaned (here we go again), gave up on the thought of 10 more minutes in bed, took some Red Date tea for stress, and doped him up with all the herbal junk we've got in the house, hoping one would stick.

Luckily he has a doctor's appointment at the allergist/asthma therapist today, and the Dr. is a very nice one who will also help him out, not necessarily in the medication sense. Our family doctor would just prescribe something, regardless, but Dr. Weiss listens to his patients and doesn't always tell them they need medicine.

So that's my day so far. Here's the witch doctor, signing out.

Predicament

My violets have mites which seem to be spreading to the other plants in the house. I have a little ladybug friend who has been doing a good deal of cleaning of the plants, however, she is only one and the mites are quite numerous. I bought an organic pesticide that smells like it could kill me if I so much as spill it on the carpet. My problem is that if it does its job, my ladybug will starve, but if I let her live, all my plants will die. I wish there were a bug Lady could eat that didn't kill plants.

prayer

Everybody I see at church these days is offering to pray for me. Even though I have wanted prayer, I have not asked. They just come up and offer it. I wonder how they know. Can they see it in my face?

Finished

I have just finished the project I have been working on since late October, and approximately 66% of the babies for which I was knitting have been born.

I feel like, aside from Christmas, there was nothing else getting me out of bed in the morning. Now that it is done, I am not sure what to do with myself. I have a strange sense of emptiness, like I no longer know who I am. I've been pretending to fix up my life but I really don't know what needs fixing. It sounds stupid, that sounds like I'm a drug addict or something, but the real truth is that I am not happy with who I am, the boring college graduate who didn't do anything with her life, who purposely doesn't live any adventures, and can't seem to get up the energy to make a few phone calls, and send out a few job applications, who doesn't have the energy to call the damn nutrition office about a graduate degree because she's been telling everyone she doesn't really know what she wants in life but in actuality there's really nothing at all that she wants.

No, I don't really feel like that all the time...
Sometimes I feel like this:


And other times I feel like this:


Since I have been working on this post on and off for about 4 1/2 hours, I am currently not any of the above, but am feeling like this:

How to sing country

Back in November, I posted an article I had found titled "How to Sing the Blues" and lamented the fact that there wasn't one for singing country.

So, in case any of you wanted to try to sing country, I've decided to give you a few guidelines.

1. Locations. Country songs take place in the country. The only reason to mention a city is a Hobby or a Woman (see #2 and #3).
1a. Reno, Dallas, Houston, Tallahassee, and Nashville are acceptable cities.
1b. Las Vegas is not acceptable unless you're going there with a woman (see #3.)
1c. Its better to mention a state than a town no one has heard of.
~Tennessee, Oklahoma, Alabama, Texas, Carolina, and Mississippi are acceptable.
~Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire, no.
~By no means should you mention New York or New Jersey, unless your woman left you and moved there.
~Florida is ok if it rhymes with something
~Don't use North and South designations (Carolina and Dakota), but you are allowed to say West Virginia.
1d. If a town name is unavoidable, it should contain a reference to the land (Smokey Hollow), to nature (Lonesome Dove), or end in -ham (Birmingham). Spanish names are ok, if they are in Arizona, New Mexico, or Texas.
1e. Place-preposition pairings such as in the woods, out in the back pasture, on a lonely highway, down by the creek, and in an empty diner, are all useful as well. If you must name a river, you can only use the Mississippi or the Rio Grande. Work your story around to make it make sense. If this is impossible, you should GRUDGINGLY call it Snake River or Green River.
1f. Dixie is a magical place name. No one knows exactly where this place is, but when you're there, you know it.

2. Hobbies. Its good to have something to do while you are waiting for the crops to grow, or for the cows to come home.
2a. Musical instruments are good, if they are string or percussion. Fiddles and banjos are excellent, by no means should you ever mention a saxophone. A jaw harp or harmonica will help you achieve a lonesome feel, but those don't rhyme well.
2b. Playing cards are good, especially poker. References are better ("don't mess with the king's queen") and references to cheating at the game are excellent. ("aces up his sleeves")
2c. Fishing is good, boating is ok.
2d. Falling in love is a supreme pastime (see #3).
2f. Hunting is only ok if you mention your dog, and he should be named for a color.
2g. If you are not a hunter, your horse is your best friend, but he never gets a name. He is always a "he" unless your mare is the only woman in your life.
2h. Rodeo. This is the best way to have fun practicing all the things you need to know to run a farm anyway. Be careful with this one. It can take you away from home and ruin your life.
2i. Go to church. When you have a lot of time on your hands and you don't want to do other hobbies, its better to go to church than to be idle (= the devil's workshop). You can do other things too, but never mention that you do them on a Sunday. Do them another day, even if you are out late Saturday night.
2j. Made up games (kneeboarding in the mud behind your boyfriend's tractor trailer) are always acceptable, but usually do not appear in the lyrics, they show up in the music video, which is disappointing, but an unavoidable fact of country music.

3. Women. Women are essential to the country way of life. They can cook, clean, raise kids, hunt, fish, give you good lovin,' down as many shots of whiskey as you can, help you with the crop or the cows, and can fight along with the rest of the men. They can do everything. They are goddesses, but only occasionally do they look like goddesses. They also have a knack for getting tired of your hobbies and leaving you. A good country song would be a love song to her, praising her inward beauty and, if she's got it, her outward beauty. She doesn't even have to leave you in the song, just tell her how much you love her. You could also sing about how you met, what you thought when you first saw her, and what you did together when you were seventeen. Usually, the girl you grow up with is the one you marry (probably because you don't meet any new people unless you leave your town).

4. Men. For the women who want to sing country, a note about your relationship with the men. Quite often, they never went to college, but you did if you didn't run away at 17. They are good men, treat you well, and run the farm well. Truckers can sing country but trucker's wives can't, so your man runs a farm. You are madly in love with him, but you are still practical and won't admit it too openly, which he doesn't mind because he's madly in love with you and is ok singing about it. If he cheats on you, its not his fault, its the tramp's fault, which is why its so hard for you to move on when you leave him. So you sing about your man even though you don't want to see him again.

5. Names.
5a. Women always get good names. Often, its acceptable just to use feminine pronouns, but sometimes you need good, solid, down to earth names. Norma, Sue, Betty, Jean and Caroline are good. If you are reminiscing about a very pretty girl, any name that sounds Native American would be a good choice.
5b. Men don't get named as much. Best friends or heroes get solid names like Bob, Bill, Willy, Tom, Hank, or Johnny. Bad guys get adjectives in front of their names: Bad Bill, Wild Bill, Shady Hank.
5c. Your parents are "my old man," if you don't like him much, or "papa" and "mama."

6. Conflict. Country music is a story, stories have conflict. Your father beat you, your mother left or sent you away. The crops all died, or else the cows did. No one ever gets murdered unless they are cheating on a lover. The state took your land, you miss your wife because you are a trucker, or she misses you because you follow a rodeo circuit. You can't support your kids. You fondly remember when times were good and they aren't now. Or you somehow wound up in jail. Despite all this, you never turn to drugs, and you are never ever EVER suicidal. You are ok with crying about it. When things get very bad, you find a buddy at a bar. Your bar will ALWAYS have either a pool table or a jukebox.

7. Alcohol. You can sing about what happens when you drink it, you can sing about what causes you to drink it (usually seeing her with him), you can sing about it ruining your life or you can sing about it helping you forget her, or make new friends. Whiskey, Beer, and Tequila are good drinks for you. So are Jack Daniels, Jim Bean, and Captain Morgan (just don't mention "rum"). Champagne only if you are being ironic. Don't drink wine unless you are drinking and in love, and avoid martinis and anything "on the rocks." Leave tonic and gin to Billy Joel. Mixed drinks, absolutely not.

8. To keep your audience interested, try puns or a turn of phrase. Famous examples are: "He had an angel's heart and the devil's hand." "We're two of a kind, working on a full house." "Don't make me come over there... and love you." "Why should we both fall apart, lets fall to pieces together." "I can saddle up fast, get you there first class long before the dawn, you know your male's gonna get to you, come snow, rain, sleet, or hail..." "he's an angel with no halo, and one wing in the fire."

9. When you have sung enough country music to be famous, you can branch out a little. Sing about something unusual like Mexico, or something abstract like a great realization you have come upon about life. In this stage, its okay to break the rules a little, like singing about a pina colada, or a woman named Lillian.

10. If your career is not picking up, try singing about a soldier in a war somewhere. Women singing country should sing about the soldier's wife. Its been done over and over, but for some reason, America still loves it.

Lastly, its not a rule but an observation. Despite your woman leaving you, the cows dying, and the state taking over the farm, your songs have an upbeat rhythm, and cheerful notes. Even if nothing positive comes out of your mouth, your song still has hope hidden somewhere inside of it. The only thing left is for the audience to look for and find that hope.

And I guess that kind of explains why I like country music despite (as Anissa always points out) the continual use of the one, three, and five chords.

Ice Skating!

We had a nice cold snap, just before it hit 65 degrees. I dragged Steve out on the ice with me, knowing it was going to melt soon. Since my other pictures went into Myspace, I thought I'd treat you all to a blogger exclusive:

Steve being cold.


Some of the hockey players actually came over to see if he needed an ambulance or anything.




Blurry picture because the cold was killing the batteries.


Testing out the NEW batteries. Not blurry at all!


For some reason, I seem to take tons of pictures of feet for my photo albums.


Me trying to hide the fact that I haven't been on skates in a couple of years.


I'm flyyyyyy-inggggg!

Sad news

I have just been told that Professor Okazaki-Mullins has passed away. If you do not know much about Jujitsu, then no doubt you will not have heard of her. She is the daughter of the founder of our style of Jujitsu. Her father initially taught a separate set of techniques to his female students, in a time when it was rare for a Sensei even to have female students. Following in her father's footsteps, many of the classes she taught at the conventions I have been to were women-only classes. I learned quite a lot of things in the few hours I have spent in her classes at convention, but it seems like way too short a time. Just watching her, it is evident that she possesses an understanding of Jujitsu that many people will never attain. While I did not know her well enough to mourn her passing, I experienced her teaching enough to experience a strong sense of loss at this news. I am sure that there are many people in the Jujitsu community that are experiencing a real mourning today, and my heart goes out to them.

WOW

I'm normally not political at all. I hate political conversations, politics, and politicians. I am convinced that none of them really want (or have the capability) to fix all of the problems in our society. They all just pick the issues that THEY see as the biggest problems and fix those, causing OTHER problems to get bigger, which another candidate might see as the one that should have been fixed first.

What I have just realized, thanks to a blog entry from a friend, is about our voting system. I have not done the research but I have heard these statistics many times. Only about half of the US population actually turns out to vote, and roughly half vote Republican and half Democrat, with the occasional vote for an independent party. What I have just realized is that every other time I have heard those statistics, I have been hearing only the STATISTICS. I never focused on the other half of the US that doesn't vote. Why don't they vote??

Well then my train of thought turned back to me. Why didn't I vote in the last election? 1. I had not made the time in my schedule to educate myself about the candidates prior to the election and was unwilling to make an uneducated decision. 2. What little I did know about the candidates made me certain that I did not want any of them to be in a position of leadership over me.

While it is highly likely that a majority of America is just plain stupid and doesn't know enough to vote, I also think that it is possible that there are people out there who don't vote because they don't want any of the candidates to be president. Our ballots could be made so much better if in addition to putting "Kerry, Clinton, Obama, Huckabee, Guiliani, and whoever else wants control" on the ballot, they would also put "Not Kerry, Not Clinton, Not Obama, Not Huckabee, and Not Guiliani" on the ballot. American ballot-makers have accounted for this by allowing us to write in names of people we would like to see in the office for which we are voting, knowing full well that the American public is not coordinated enough for it to actually make a difference. But, if people were allowed to vote AGAINST a candidate, perhaps the statistics researchers would find that we can elect a president not based on the opinions of 25% of the population, but by 50% or 75% of the population.

Granted... adding an option like that to the ballot would cost millions, especially just in advertising. There would have to be a media hype so that the people who don't vote will know they have a new option. Then there would have to be educational seminars for the people who have been voting the old way to learn how to incorporate the new options. Then there would have to be people at the voting stations to tell the people who slept through the educational seminars what to do. Then there would have to be more people just outside the voting booths for the idiots who still don't get it and can't adapt to change (the ones Darwin thinks should have died a long time ago).

Ok so, its not really a feasible plan. But I think that having the option to say on a ballot "I don't want any of these people" would attract more voters. And it would cause problems if 70% of America didn't want anyone to rule them. But at least then, it would actually be the case that "the people have spoken," instead of, "a quarter of the people have spoken."

Pictures

At this very moment, I am uploading pictures to Myspace that include my super mario brother, walks in the woods, scenic lookouts, kitty porn, and christmas trees.

If you do not have a myspace account, and would like me to post some pictures here, you have to let me know. Say yes, and I will.

I wonder

What would happen if the paparazzi stopped following the celebrity sluts and started following US senators, government officials, and basically anyone in the perimeter of Washington DC? Imagine the scandals we could uncover. Brittany and Lindsay and Paris need a break. They are just young women with no significant parental guidance and as much as I disagree with their actions and agree with the consequences of their actions, there is no need for me to know about it. The really juicy stuff happens in DC, not Hollywood. So why are the paparazzi following strung out blond chicks?