Little Brat

So, when I was in 6th grade, I had to memorize the infamous "I'm Special" poem. Every 6th grader dreaded it, but every 6th grader in the school learned it. It starts like this: "I'm special. In all the world there's nobody like me. Since the beginning of time, there has never been another person like me. Nobody has my smile, nobody has my eyes, my nose, my hair, my hands, my voice. I'm special..." And it goes on and on and takes every 6th grader the full school year to memorize.

In 8th grade, in February, we had to do sermon notes for our Bible class. We had to keep a bulletin to prove we'd gone to church, take notes on the sermon, and apply it to our lives. Apparently I missed the part that said we had to do it in essay form, because I just listed all the bullet points. Also, I was going to a pentecostal/charismatic type of church while going to a non-denominational school run by a whole staff full of strict Baptists. That right there brings me down a full letter grade. Lastly, in 8th grade, I had the worst case of senioritis in my entire education, including my last semester at Rutgers where I did pretty much nothing.

So, when my first 5 sermon notes came back with C+, D+, D+, D+, and D-, I sat down at the computer for my next two sermon notes, to get even. Instead of bullet points, I used block quotes to include whole passages of the Bible, and thus, fill up a page and make it look like an essay. The next paragraph was a paraphrase of the previous Bible verse. The paragraph after that was a brief explanation of the point the pastor was attempting to draw from the Bible passage. The paragraph after that is a brief explanation of how the church service improved my life: "I liked the singing, dancing, shouting, clapping, and horn blowing best because Pentecostals enjoy that sort of stuff. I also enjoyed it when the smelly lady next to me left to go have a smoke." And from the second sermon note: "I liked being the only one with shorts on in the church. I like this because I'm special. In all the world there is no one like me."

They were returned without letter grades, only plus signs.

Science in the Bible

I'm not a scientist. I won't be able to put this blog entry into scientific terms. But recently, some things have been turning over in my head so I kinda have to say it, even if I can't be scientifically accurate about what I want to say.

I am sure everyone is aware of the debates in the education systems: should evolution be taught in the public schools, is it fact, is it theory, is the Bible's account just a myth or a creative rendition, etc.

Recently, it has been suggested to me that the Bible's depiction of the creation of the world does not contradict the secular ideas about the creation of the world, and that the two ideas may be two sides of the same story. Many people believe that if the Big Bang Theory is truth, then the Earth must be billions upon billions of years old. Many Christians believe the Bible depicts a creation of the earth in 7 24-hour days (6 with a day of rest), and that this occurred only a few thousand years ago. The time discrepancy is sometimes explained by the fact that God created Adam and Eve as mature humans (probably had belly buttons- indicating a history prior to their creation) and therefore the whole earth could have a history of billions of years even though it was only created five thousand years ago. Although it sorta makes sense I kind of feel that this human explanation is an insult to God's ingenuity. I think he could (and probably did) make a much better story of the creation of the universe.

As to the time difference, as one person pointed out, time works differently in space than it does on Earth, and time is affected by gravitational fields. Time passes differently on Jupiter than it does on Earth because Jupiter has a huge gravitational field. If all the matter in the universe is located very close together, time will pass differently than if all the matter in the universe is spread out (and I believe that somehow, it has been proven that the universe is continuing to expand). So, seven 24-hour days back then could have been the equivalent of millions or billions of years today, and today's 24-hour days will be different than the 24-hour days of a million years in the future. Also, the Big Bang Theory is a reference to the creation of the whole universe, not the planet, so it is very egocentric of us to put the time line in terms of earth-years.

Because I'm not a theologian, I haven't studied the original Hebrew words that were used, or the ancient Greek into which the Bible was translated years ago in an effort to preserve it in the great libraries of the day. When the Bible says "water," does that mean hydrogen dioxide? Does it mean fluid? When the Bible says "heavens," does it mean sky or a spiritual location? Even the word "beginning" is obscure (kind of on par with "I'll do it later," well when is later?). But I, like everyone else, am just trying to make sense of the world with what I've got, and I'd be silly if I dismissed something that the ancient Greeks found important enough to keep in their libraries.

Because I'm not a scientist, I really can't explain much about anything regarding the Big Bang. What I can explain is my interpretation as I have understood it, and if I've understood it wrong, well, that is because I prefer the arts over the sciences. Its my understanding that the latest research has indicated that before the Big Bang, there was no matter, it was only energy gathered up into a very small point. The energy exploded from the point, and then everything was uniform and fluid, and by everything, I mean ionized protons and loose electrons flying around. This huge fluid mass is very bright because of the ionization, and as it continues to expand, it cools, which allows the protons and electrons to join together through gravity and magnetism instead of being separated by the thermal energy. This makes pockets of areas that are lighter than others, so some pockets are dark, and some are light.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
² Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
³ And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. ⁴ God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. ⁵God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.

As more and more protons and electrons join together, gravitation pulls them into nebulae, stars, planets, and galaxies. On earth, there was a boiling mass of liquid under a tumultuous sky (ok, I told you I like the creative arts over the sciences, right? I HAVE to make this into some interesting literature).

⁶ And God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water." ⁷⁸ God called the expanse "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day. So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above it. And it was so.

As the earth cooled, the crust of the earth was able to form and hydrogen dioxide (water) was formed. Now that water exists, plants can survive. As stated before, this does not have to happen in a 24-hour period as we know it. It could have been a 24-hour period as it was back then, or not at all, depending on what the original language states.

⁹ And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. ¹⁰ God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good.

¹¹ Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. ¹² The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. ¹³ And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.

Now, I don't know where this fits into the whole secular theory on the formation of the universe, but I do know if our sun just suddenly blinked off, we would not know it for 8 minutes. Likewise, if a distant star goes out, as some have been known to do, it may take years for it to disappear from our night sky. So, is it possible that the formation of the celestial bodies was not evident on earth until the Bible's fourth day? And is it possible that on the fourth day, earth was pulled into the sun's orbit in such a way that makes it possible to distinguish seasons and days and years?

¹⁴ And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, ¹⁵ and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. ¹⁶ God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. ¹⁷ God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, ¹⁸ to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. ¹⁹ And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

Now we move away from the Big Bang Theory and into the realm of evolution, which states that life first appeared in the water, which is not contradicted by the Bible's account.

²⁰ And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky." ²¹ So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. ²² God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth." ²³

And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.

Then came the larger animals, mammals, land creatures. Followed by the late-comers, humans, who in a very short time would dominate and transform the entire planet to suit their own needs.

²⁴ And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. ²⁵ God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.²⁶Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

²⁷ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

²⁸ God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." ²⁹ Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰ And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so. ³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

It is interesting to note that geneticists, through mapping human DNA, have been able to identify a genetic Adam and genetic Eve- that we humans are all descended from two people. Whether they were THE Adam and Eve, no one knows, but who cares? Their names aren't important, only that we all share their genes.

Lastly, what's really been turning over in my head recently, is this: someone asked me, "Do you believe that God works instantaneously, or through a process?" Based on the context of our conversation, I believe the person was asking in relation to miraculous healings and things of that nature. But, after thinking it through, I have to say that both are in evidence around us. The process is evident in our hearts and minds. We don't just change our minds about things all of a sudden. There are little tiny daily occurrences that work on us until one day we do have that instantaneous realization that we have changed. In the same way, I think miraculous healings are just the instantaneous realization of something that has been changing in minute ways all along. And if that is the case, why can it not be that humans evolved in minute ways and in one instantaneous moment, said "Hey, we're humans! I'm Adam, you're Eve!" Is evolution any less of a miracle than God speaking a person into existence in an instant?

More spam poetry.

Found another spy-code-poem in my junk mailbox:

Themistocles to speak of scipio
They could keep them namely that.
Kings had also how that.

I swear, some spy is sending a message to someone else using spam mail, and its coming to me instead. If I disappear, its because I was kidnapped and am being interrogated in a holding cell in Serbia. Its a case of mistaken identity!!

I'm Back!

I have taken some time to clean out my old blog posts and delete the ones I no longer care to have, and now you can all view my blog again. Thank you all for your patience as I tidied up the place a little. Sorry there aren't more stunning visual results to see. I had thought of redesigning the look of the page as well but I realized I'm kind of partial to my dragon, Fred. I am sure he is happy to be here still as well.

Also this week, I am taking requests for blog topics. Anything you would like me to talk about? Any burning questions you have for me? Make a suggestion; I will see what I can do. If not, its back to the same old stuff- ranting about what bugs me, pondering spiritual life, pondering love life, and posting random photos of hot actors.

Roots

Roots is the name of the latest sermon series at Liquid Church. While the essence of the message today had to do with a person's faith taking root in their lives, the series on a whole seems to be about going back to the roots of our faith, and trying things the ancient church practiced.

I really like both concepts. The church I grew up attending used to hold a "shadows" service on Good Friday with a structure that dates back to the 4th century. A church I attended when my mother first became a Christian and began bringing my brother and me with her played lots of old hymns, which I also heard in the worship service today (with the addition of an electric guitar of course, haha). Although certain ancient practices sometimes become mindless, mechanical tasks (recitation of the same prayer multiple times throughout the day for example), I believe returning to them after a time away can help strengthen a person's spiritual life.

At Liquid today, just before the service ended, churchgoers were welcome to visit different stations so that they could meditate on God and have a private moment with Him in whichever way best suited their needs at the moment. There was a cross, on which they could nail a confession of sins, a table for communion, and a row of candles to "light a prayer for yourself or for another person who may be struggling with their roots." (Did you know "votive" means vow? When you light a votive candle, it was originally to commemorate or honor a vow you have made. Cool little tidbit.) In some ways the set up resembled a Catholic service, but I believe that when something is not routine, it stands out more in a person's mind and can become more meaningful for them.

I really enjoyed the hymns today. I think that if I could find a church with teachings as relevant as Liquid, but which sings at least one old hymn every week, that would be the church for me. But, for right now, Liquid is the place for me until God provides a new place. I have often felt uprooted in my life, so I have begun to feel quite comfortable with knowing at any moment I could be transplanted somewhere.

Which makes the analogy of me as a plant, which brings me to the second part of the Roots sermon today. The Bible references were from Matthew, where Jesus tells the parable of the man planting the seeds. The following conversation never happened, but it popped into my head while Pastor Tim was talking. I feel it is a good way to describe my journey with God.

Person: So, you've heard my wonderful/exciting/miraculous/180/conversion testimony about that moment when God was like, "BAM," so real to me, and I was like, "Whoah," and right then and there on Friday the nth day of X month in that year, at 3:42 pm and 45 seconds, I became a Christian. Tell me about your conversion story.
Me: (as I usually answer) Uhh, from the time I was 4 my mom told me things which I believed the moment she told them to me, and then as I grew up I just believed.
Person: So, you never like, converted?

Me: (what popped into my head today, as I should start answering) When a person plants a seed, it goes underground, right? You can't actually see it the moment it begins to germinate, and sometimes you don't even know that a tiny plant has emerged from the ground. When it is finally a full grown plant, sometimes you can say, "Wow, how did that get there?" But it has actually been there all along. You can't see the roots because they are underground, but you can see the fruit that it is bearing. When I was 4 my mom planted a seed, when I was 11 I had that "Wow, how did that get there" moment and when I was 16 I began to see fruit.

And since most people don't understand me, the person would probably still say, "So, you never like, converted?" But at least I would feel like I tried to describe my story a little better.

Re-publishing

Browsing through some old blog posts, I came across one about a wedding I went to. This paragraph made me laugh:

"Anyway, at the reception, by arranged seating, I sat with Kevin, Jordan, and Eric. Not that its a bad thing, but... you know... That's quite an arrangement. I learned that one of them (name withheld) wants all the men at his wedding to be equipped with a sword. Then the men on the groom's side have to battle the men on the bride's side for the groom's right to the bride. I reflected how lucky society is that woman plan weddings, not men."

Two of those three are either married or engaged now, so I am curious if there are or were any plans involving swords.

Spam Poetry

So, I found this in my junk mail box:

"Think~big when~ inbed"

It was followed by a link which I of course did not click on. Then it ended with this:

"Whereas the senate as soon after. Numa also to meet with our time. While all justice yet some say that. Amongst the temple in truth of rome. Upon whom were just and taking away. But where having cut off by force. Whether it appeared to bear arms. Just as appears by night"

It is a fascinating piece of text. Note the over-use of periods, but the lack of one at the very end. Incredible!

Side note, I wonder if this is some kind of spy code encryption thingie.

My Bad

In searching for actors of all ethnic backgrounds, I focused on TV shows and movies. I neglected to search the TV commercials, and so I neglected to include one of the best looking actors of all time. My apologies to Isaiah Mustafa, the Old Spice Man.

(For the record, I love the smell of Old Spice.)

Eye-candy Blog Correction

So, I was called a racist for only posting pictures of white actors. In my defense, I'm not entirely sure what race Joaquin Phoenix is.

To satisfy the heckler in the crowd (of three who can still read this blog), here are some pictures of good looking non-white actors.

James Kyson-Lee. He played Ando in the TV show Heroes. His character was cool because for at least the 1.5 seasons that I watched before losing interest, he had no superpowers like the other characters.


Antonio Banderas. Mask of Zorro, Evita, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, countless others. He always plays characters who have intense passion for what they believe or want within the story.


Dante Basco. Rufio, leader of the Lost Boys of Neverland. Also Ramos from the dance movie Take the Lead. Also plays characters with intense passion for their goals.


Abishek Bachchan. In this image from the movie Dhoom, his character is watching his wife paint the living room wearing tight shorts and a midriff shirt. Its Bollywood. They have to do things like that. For some unknown reason, their house is also quite windy and her hair is blowing beautifully. In a few minutes, he is going to chase her into the yard and spray her with the garden hose. Then he is going to sulk because she is playing hard-to-get. This actor is great at sulking.


Here, we are going to play Name That Actor. Tell me who is who and what movie or TV show you saw them in.

EDIT

EDIT to the previous post:

12. Browsing a baby blog, I discovered the phrases "projectile milk vomit" and "all the textures of newborn poop." Newborn humans are messy; newborn kittens know immediately to clean up after themselves. Cats are better than children, dogs, and most college students.

The kid debate...

Reasons not to have children:
1. Having to endure the torturous device called a baby shower.
2. Kids that play in the street and scream in the grocery store.
3. The world is screwed up, why on earth would you want to bring another person into it?
4. The responsibility of raising a child not to be an ax murderer.
5. The world is overpopulated.
6. Children have annoyed me even when I was a child myself.
7. Stubbornness and rebellion against all those who want to see me with a family.
8. Lack of confidence that I can give my kids the blessing of having parents who do not disagree on issues.
9. Fear of change (lifestyle).
10. Really crappy family genetic traits that I wouldn't want to pass on (its my evolutionary duty NOT to reproduce).
11. Unwanted bodily changes during pregnancy ("I like my hips the way they are, thank you!").

Reasons to have children:
1. Being able to make pregnancy look this good: http://www.tirzahphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/IMG_5124.jpg
2. Illustrating the beautiful bond of a husband and wife like this: http://www.tirzahphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/IMG_5842.jpg
3. Having a close group of family and friends completely invested in you and the life of your child.
4. Feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit through the presence of a little one.
5. Hearing a 7-year-old say, "Dad, I want to go to heaven to be with Jesus when I die, and I know how to get there, because you taught me well."
6. Bigger boobs.

So, the cons outnumber the pros. But do the cons outweigh the pros? (Pro number 6 may just tip the scales!)

The eye-candy blog

I have to get this off my chest. Its been turning around and stirring inside me for a while and I'm ready to let it out.

Twilight fans are to be pitied for their delusions. They are not deluded because the forbidden romance is an overworked plot line, nor because said romance is with a vampire, also a tired element. Its not even because of the Romeo-and-Juliet-esque element of vampire families fighting amongst each other and involving humans, sacrificial love, and werewolf families (already a great story called Underworld). Can we all just make this simple and agree that the plot is overdone and worn out so that I can move on to the point?

Twilight fans, poor creatures, have been tricked into believing that Robert Pattinson is hot.

Even with stage make-up, Robert Pattinson does not hold a candle to anyone in the hotness department. His character is not even hot. His character is a whiny vampire (who sparkles in the sunlight!) who can't decide whether to eat his prey or have sex with her, so he resorts to the next-best option of stalking. Vampires throughout literature have been faced with this tough decision, but none have harped on it so annoyingly.

Feel free to compare and contrast:

Sulky vampire with greasy hair. He didn't even bother to comb, wash his hair, or shave. His eyebrows need plucking, and he doesn't look mean or menacing, he just looks like a teenager whose mother is about to wash behind his ears.


Even when he is not his vampire character, he doesn't bother to shave or take care of his hair.


Compare that with these:

Granted, this actor let himself go and now he has more hair above the shoulders than Robert Pattinson has on his body. But when he was actually in character as the romantic lead, he proved that a character can be flawed and still hot, and no one wondered what on earth was wrong with the girl for liking him, despite being strung-out-on-drugs, losing a career, and being arrested in Mexico.


Ok the actor is good looking, and throughout this series, his character cleans up well, protects others, and puts faith in the female lead as an equal in the fighting arena. But I really just put this picture in here because his talking car is beautiful and has Val Kilmer's voice.


Wears a suit, is clean-shaven, has short hair and no eyebrows, although that could be because this character is always blowing things up. Also a good leader and like Mike above, trusts the female lead to fight at his side rather than screaming and fainting.


And of course, this blog isn't complete without a photo of a real vampire, who was so bad and scary they had to lock him up, yet still had tremendous appeal as a romantic lead. Notice he is clean-shaven, and is not as gaunt as Twilight's whiny sparkly vampires.


Alright, I'll admit, dissing Twilight is really just an excuse for me to Google ridiculously good-looking actors, none of whom appear in the Twilight movies.

But in reality there has been something bothering me. I have begun to feel lately that Hollywood is lying to humanity about relationships. People in the movies have love at first sight, humorous but slightly embarrassing relatives, a snag in the relationship that is conquered by true love, and a happy ending to every story. If I asked 100 people to name the first movie that popped into their heads that fits all those elements, I would have 100 different answers. But if I asked those same people to tell me a true story that actually happened that fits those plot elements, I may get one story in response.

However, if I were to ask those 100 people if they would like to date someone who, when faced with any tough decision, choose to pout and whine about the decision, sit in a corner for a while, and take emotional cues from James Dean, the answer would be no, no, a hundred thousand times no. Unless he also sings like James Dean, which to my knowledge, Robert Pattinson's character does not.

This type of reaction to conflict is not mature. Why on earth Hollywood is trying to teach us that we should try and date immature men is beyond me. Additionally, the Twilight series teaches young girls a number of misconceptions: 1) True love can be found in high school in a matter of days. 2) If you believe it is true love, then even if he dumps you, he's destined to get back together with you regardless of any other potential suitors in your life. 3) You will never have to choose between your true love who dumped you and the far better options in your life; you can have your cake and eat it too, and they will both be ok with that.

For a somewhat more hilarious take on the Twilight story, please see this article, which exposes some of the male-chauvinist concepts presented by the story's elements:
http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/ <- LANGUAGE AND GORE WARNING

For a look at what happens when you put a sparkly vampire into a tough neighborhood where women actually have backbones and know what to do with a stalker vampire, please check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwM3GvaTRM

Not only does the video expose just how wrong it is to stalk someone, but it shows that no one can surpass Joss Whedon's vampire world. Bram Stoker invented vampires, Anne Rice made them relevant, Joss Whedon made them awesome, and all later vampire stories are an attempt to destroy a great genre.

Romance

I have been thinking a bit about my life, and my goals, and my plans for the future. I've discovered I have very few plans for the future (keep in mind, plans are different from wants). In actuality, I have always lived my life expecting that at any moment, God could say, "My plan for you is that you be in XYZ location, doing UVW." And that at any moment, God could move me somewhere else. Not because I believe that God is fickle and prone to the random uprooting of his subjects, but because I believe that God's plan is greater than anything I could dream up, and the intricacies of being in the right place at the right time are beyond my capabilities.

Is this an indication of complete trust in God? Maybe. Its also possible that I simply dislike decisions and it is easier to want something than to try and figure out how to get to it. In relationships, I have been trying to figure out my plans and wants. I'm not even sure what I want anymore.

When I was 16, I began an intimate romance with the Lord. I suppose all teenagers have the same perceptions of love; this one was just like any teenage romance: love notes and flowers and pink happy clouds and living in a bubble. After a while, I actually got sick of it, like a kid with too much Halloween candy. I asked God to stop romancing me, I couldn't take the saccharine-sweet feeling of all those happy clouds.

If this all sounds weird, I suppose you could say it was like the story of the Israelites who wanted a king. God said, "No, I am your King" but all their neighbors had kings and the Israelites wanted one too, so God gave them one. God gave me what I wanted.

Lots of stuff happened between me and God after that, ups and downs that have no bearing on the story I'm telling at present. What I'm getting at is that back then, when I was 16, God taught me what to look for in a guy by being my first love himself. What I got was a guy who wrote me poems, brought me flowers and gifts, and could not find an end to his expressions of love for me. Which was a great thing to have for a first romance (earthly romance). But I am not a teenager anymore, and I have changed a LOT these past ten years.

I need God to romance me again, to teach me what to look for now in a man, because what I need now will be different from what I needed at 16. To tie this into my previous post, I believe this will make me a whole, complete individual that I can someday, if the circumstances are right, attach myself to another whole, complete individual (or not, it doesn't matter as long as I find wholeness in God).

Yes, this is all stemming from a sermon I heard, but these are my own thoughts, not the pastor's. And God has already begun his work. : )