A business proposal

Dear Wintersilks:

I love your expensive clothing.  I am poor in money and rich in beauty.  If you send me long underwear, I will model it and provide you with the photo release forms allowing you to use my image in your advertising.  I will include a box of corks in the photo.  And, I can do better.  I can include empty wine bottles, and maybe even some with wine in them.  And think of the sex appeal:  under the clothing, I will be totally naked.  You cannot go wrong with an offer like this.

Sincerely,
arwenundomiel9

Columbus Day Argument

Your mother would have wanted you to have it. It's half her breastplate

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Recently, a friend's comment about Columbus Day prompted some thought for me.  What IS Columbus Day?  What is the intended purpose of the celebration of this day?  Apparently, I never learned that in school.  Though I do remember a coloring book featuring three Spanish sailing ships, so that's something.

So I decided to do some research.  Granted, thanks to a college course on Native American history, I know WHO Columbus was, and I am aware of the movement among Native Americans and others to place Columbus in a less exalted spot in history, as well as the argument that he did not discover North America (Native Americans did).

But what I am mostly concerned with is the history of the holiday in the United States.  When we celebrate Columbus Day, what are we celebrating?  So, allow me to share with you what I've learned.  Lets go back as far as possible.

A Prehistoric year.  The people we now call Native Americans arrived on the continent.  Whether they came from Siberia, aboriginal Australia, or prehistoric Spain is debated.  That is the point of the word "prehistoric."  We don't know much about their origins before arriving on the continent so we call them Native Americans.

The discovery of North America as it is termed today is a reference to discovering the land in historic times, times when history was recorded and written down.  So for the sake of argument, lets pretend the Native Americans are native, rather than discoverers.

Late 900s.  You've probably heard this part before.  Eric the Red murdered some people, got banished from Iceland and went to Greenland.  His friend Bjarni wanted to try to find him and Greenland, got caught in a storm, missed Greenland, and glimpsed land beyond Greenland.  Eric's son Lief heard the tale and set out to find this land and, thanks to archeological evidence, we know a Norse settlement was established on the continent of North America.  Thanks to climate change, the Vikings went home a little while later.

Late 1400s.  Rumor has it that a mild year made for good sailing and allowed Christopher Columbus to visit Iceland and hear the tales of the lands to the west.  Others will dispute that, saying Columbus came up with the idea that there's more out there all on his own.  Who cares?  The end result is that he sailed to the Caribbean, brought smallpox to the indigenous people, and destroyed the European belief that "We've learned everything about the world that there is to learn."  For that ego-destroying accomplishment, we should make a holiday celebrating the man.  Wait... is that what the day is about?

1892.  Note that this is the 400th anniversary of Columbus' sailing.  Note also the things that were happening in the United States which carried a cultural impact for citizens:  In Wyoming, fighting broke out between American citizens which required the aid of the US Cavalry to keep the peace.  In New York, Ellis Island became the center of immigration to the United States, beginning the trend of large waves of foreigners coming to the country.  The US was involved in Chilean politics, and war with Chile had been threatened just the year before.  It was in America's interest for its citizens to be somewhat patriotic.  So... loyalty to the nation, the celebration of social progress, and citizenship were topics for discussion and instruction among teachers, politicians, and preachers.  What better way than to celebrate the very event that landed us here in the first place?  Columbus Day celebrations were nothing more than patriotism.

Mid-19th Century.  Remember Ellis Island in the last paragraph?  Many of the immigrants were Catholics.  They began drawing some discrimination from the KKK, whether for their Catholic beliefs or for their being culturally different is debatable.  I don't claim to understand in the least what goes on in the minds of the Klan.  (Side note, does it bother anyone else that "Ku Klux Klan" is not perfectly alliterative?)  Whatever the reason for the discrimination, Catholic organizations developed and began attempting to curb the injustices against immigrants.  One organization chose as their symbolic figure Christopher Columbus, being a celebrated Catholic immigrant himself, and founded the Knights of Columbus.  And here I was thinking they were named after the city in Ohio.

1934.  The Knights of Columbus lobbied in Washington and got Franklin D. Roosevelt to proclaim Columbus Day a federal holiday.  Remember FDR and the New Deal?  Yeah, he was the guy who was working to bring the country out of the Great Depression.  An excuse for a new holiday which just might boost morale and allow federal workers a little break from their tireless rebuilding of the economy?  Yes please.  A new holiday that just happens to have its roots as a holiday in patriotism just a few years before the start of another World War?  Sounds like it might not have been all that hard for the Knights of Columbus to lobby for the federal holiday.

Today.  Federal employees don't have to work, and retailers have to deal with sale mobs.  And that seems to be its only current meaning.  (Incidentally, if federal employees don't have to work, that means they have the time to go shopping.  Could it be that retailers invented the Columbus Day Sale to ensure that more people would go shopping instead of sitting at home watching documentaries on Columbus?)

So, on Monday, if you want to celebrate patriotism, Catholicism, great historical sea-faring journeys, great sales at Macy's, or the fact that your bank is closed, put on your floppy renaissance hat, pull out your Santa Maria coloring books, and buy some 800-thread count sheets from Macy's, and go to an Italian-language Mass.  Or Spanish, whatever you prefer.

But if you want to celebrate the discovery of North America (within a non-prehistoric timeframe), put on your viking hat and proclaim, "Vi oppdaget det først!"

Travels

I haven't written much in a while.  Between Anissa's wedding, a vacation in Cape Cod, house sitting in two houses, entertaining an out of state guest, visiting my grandparents, tending my garden, an earthquake, and a hurricane, I've really not had time for much of my "extra-curricular" stuff like blogging.

But I have had a lot of time opportunity to reflect on things in my life and heart.  I have known for a while that my current city is not the right place for me to live.  It is a wonderful town and has been a great place for me to grow up, but beyond that there is no future for me here.  I have been pondering what kind of place I could move to, and what kind of adventure it would be, but have not taken great steps in leaving just yet.  I thought I would share a few ideas.

Last year, I thought about the possibility of moving closer to my grandparents (which would include most of my mom's side of the family).  They are all in Michigan.  But last summer, I went out to visit -don't get me wrong, I had a great time- and returned home feeling that it was not a place I could ever live permanently.

I have had invitations from people offering to open their homes long enough for me to find a job and a place to live in their areas.  This includes San Francisco, Atlanta, Las Vegas, and Maryland.  I had even briefly considered moving closer to my grandparents via their winter location of coastal Alabama.  I have visited San Francisco, and enjoyed the weather, the people, and the youthful, athletic atmosphere.  However, I am pretty certain that a state like California is not for me.  Atlanta and Alabama I have never visited, so I can't rule them out completely, but they don't grip my imagination the way other places do.  They do not seem like adventuresome places to live.  Las Vegas has a lot of cons.  I've never been there, but I've been to its retarded little cousin, Reno.  (Yes, I used the "r" word.  It would be an insult to handicapped and disabled people if I were to use the politically correct term to describe Reno.)  Here's what's wrong with Las Vegas.  1) I dislike large cities.  2) I live in a humid coastal state and am always dehydrated because I forget to drink.  If I moved to the arid steppes of Nevada, I'd probably have headaches constantly from the dehydration.  If I died there, the embalmers would probably give a steep discount because half their job would already be done.  3) I do not want to be surrounded by people who have lost their children's inheritance in a casino.  It seems like a depressing place to live.  Lastly, Maryland.  Like I said, I dislike large cities, but a proximity to both Washington DC and Baltimore would be a plus for me.  I have been to both cities and would love to live near them (not in them).  I cannot rule Maryland out.

Finally, I vacationed in Cape Cod this year, and while walking along the pier with my family, wind whipping the salt through my hair, making the rigging of the fishing boats whistle and clang, and thinking about the rich colonial history surrounding the eastern seaboard, I had a sudden realization strike me.  You know how you just "know" things, in a way that makes you wonder whether the thought came from you or some ethereal "something" from beyond?  Maybe not, but that is how I get sometimes; perhaps it is just me being weird and/or dramatic.  This thought came to me, "Meg, you are a coastal girl through and through."  I knew what that meant without a need for an explanation.  I grew up in the rural mountains of NJ not 20 minutes from real farm country, true.  But even there, the ocean breeze permeates things and that air has got me.  I'm in love with it.  I can never go very far from it.

So on to the last thought.  My parents plan to retire in Virginia.  Although I don't want to live too close to them (in the same town in Virginia), I could feasibly see myself living somewhere else in the state.  After all, it is a big state, with coastal areas, mountains, farmland.  Not unlike NJ.  And a state that has a catch phrase like "Virginia is for lovers" is not a bad place to be.

So what have I been getting at all this time?  I am not sure.  It basically boils down to, "Maybe I'll stay in NJ, maybe I'll go to Maryland or Virginia, or maybe I'll go somewhere random, like Portugal."

But what triggered this?  There are two places I want to live which I have not mentioned, because I believe that they are greater in my head than they are in real life.  In my mind, there is some sort of romantic mysticism about them, probably some silly whim I got from a novel somewhere.  But I am afraid to visit them "to see" because I know that they are better in my imagination, and I do not want my bubble burst.  Oh to be able to create reality from my imagination.  But, I am not God, so I live in fear of seeing the place on earth that I really want to live, fear that it is not what i imagine it to be.

I suppose the omnipotence of imagination is why some people write books.

Morning Visitors

It has been a while since I've posted.  In the past month, I've house-sat for multiple homes, gone on a trip to Cape Cod, worked massage jobs, been a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding, and tended my garden.  Today, I woke up in a beautiful mansion, fed the 7 cats, sat down to a breakfast of tea and biscotti, and then answered the door to Matthias and Hezekiah or something like that.  Jehovah's Witnesses.

I have to say, this is the first time in my life I have actually talked to a Jehovah's Witness (not counting the one in Italy who thought I would still benefit from hearing his speech even though I hadn't yet gotten past a 4th grade understanding of the language).  Not that I have turned them away at the door, its just that my street is too dangerous to have witnesses walking around on it.  They've never come to our house.  Mom says it is because God keeps them away, but I like to think they are human too, and just don't want to die in a pedestrian-car accident.

Interestingly enough, Hezekiah didn't say anything I disagreed with.  I didn't fully understand the connection between the two topics he discussed but he opened with an explanation that evolution is being taught in schools (duh) and that creation is also being taught in schools (duh) and that it is a controversy (duh duh).  Do I have any opinion on that?  I replied no, I don't.  I didn't share the idea that I can accept- that the creation account in the Bible describes the big bang theory and the theory of evolution precisely as they would have happened and that neither account excludes the other from happening.

I didn't share those thoughts because in actuality, I don't care how we got here.  Arguing about the creation-evolution debate is like finding yourself at Six Flags, and instead of riding the rides, you stand around arguing with people about whether you came by car or by bus.  Six Flags was created so that you can ride rides; by standing around arguing, you are negating the entire purpose of the amusement park's existence, as well as your own purpose in being there.  The same is true for the debates about the end of the world.  In my opinion, it doesn't matter HOW we go, what matters is that someday we will leave the amusement park, and it would be a total waste to stand around and argue about how or when that time will be.  Why not just forget the argument and do what you came for?

But anyway, Hezekiah then jumped into an explanation that the kingdom of God is coming, and though I'm not sure quite what that has to do with evolution, I couldn't disagree.  The kingdom of God is coming, though no one knows the day or hour.  I suppose in some ways, though there are points in their belief system with which I disagree, I should definitely give them kudos for making the most of their time here.  There is no other church or religious creed that proselytizes to the extent that the Jehovah's Witnesses do.  At any rate, they were quite polite and well spoken, though I felt a little self-conscious standing at the front door of a mansion with neighbors I don't know, wearing my pjs with no bra on underneath, and Matthias a good-looking guy roughly my age.

On another note, for someone of a Protestant background, is it within my duty to try to convert them as they are trying to convert me?  If so, I failed at that part.  However, I accepted their polite behavior and returned it in kind, and hopefully we each represented our belief systems well to the other.

The new V-Day-esque photo.

Although this was put on the website Winning at Every- thing.com, there is actually a story behind this, which many people have already heard.  But I like it, and feel compelled to repeat it here.  The couple in the photo did not intend to be in the middle of a riot.  But for various reasons, they were and when things started heating up, all they wanted was to go somewhere safe.  But the girl was knocked down when the riot police began sweeping through the crowds.  The guy followed her to the ground, and as the line of police moved away from her, he tried to comfort her.  It was a scary moment, and she was dazed, so he acted on impulse and kissed her, suddenly making worldwide headlines.

Ok, yeah, it is a little startling at first, seeing the girl's butt-side-cleavage.  But come on.  She just survived a riot.  Her state of undress could have been worse.  And how many boyfriends out there, seeing their girlfriends in a state of terror think, "Now would be a good time to make a move"?  But he made the move and he committed fully, and I think that is what captures people's attentions.  Here is a guy that knew what he wanted (his girlfriend to be "all better"), made a spur of the moment plan (even if it was a crappy one), and then did it without hesitation about whether it was the right plan or not (see the plan through, and if you fail, fail with confidence and with all your heart).

Guys, women don't care if you fail.  We care if you are too unsure of yourselves to even risk the failure.

Another blog about kids

As you know if you read this blog regularly, I don't care for kids.  Some are cute, a lot are just evidence of major parental failure, and/or condom failure.  There are a handful of kids whose parents totally rock at parenting, who I totally love.

But I was browsing blogs today and one of them caught my eye.  The gist of the blog was "Shut up, your kids are not THAT cute."  But there was some interesting information in the blog:

Statistics show that 90% of your kids are going to grow up to become just like everyone else - and five percent of them, will grow up to be less than everyone else. Average citizens performing average jobs, with an average income, average intelligence and average achievements. There's a one-in-two shot that they'll end up divorced, with two-point-three children, there's a one in seven chance they'll be unemployed, and there's a one in twelve chance that they'll be too poor to survive without government subsidies during most of their childbearing years.

Three percent of your kids are going to be pregnant before they're out of high school, twenty percent are going to fail miserably at managing their credit, and while twenty-two percent of your children will be able to name all five of the Simpsons, less than one tenth of a percent will be able to name the 5 freedoms given to them by the first amendment and less than one hundredth of a percent will make any significant contribution to anything worthwhile within the scope of human history.

People seem to forget that these kids grow up to be adults, and the national averages aren't exactly on the rise.

 

The statistics can sometimes be depressing, or overwhelming.  But instead of thinking, "Why bother bringing a kid into the world with all the trouble we have here?"  Why not see the statistics as a challenge?  They're right, parents naturally want their kids to be great because, after all, a kid is a genetic reflection of a parent.  But ok, so my kid might not be that great.  But I know I am great, and why shouldn't I challenge myself to be a better parent than most of the parents out there?  Assuming, of course, that I find someone I can love, who is worth the effort and scary cliff-jump that is a wedding and then work my courage up to start a family.  There are a lot of steps between here and kids, but it is comforting to know that if the oxytocin fails to make me think my kids are the best thing since the invention of fire, that at the very least, I will enjoy the challenge of beating the odds to make myself a better parent.

Well, this is awkward...

Today's sermon was about forgiveness.  I feel a sort of incongruousness (I tried to write incongruence but spell check doesn't think that is a word, which is ridiculous).  But anyway I feel weird because the tables are turned.  Most of the time you hear about people who want God to forgive them but then struggle to let go of the hard feelings in their heart when it comes to forgiving someone else.  For example, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."

But I seem to be having no problems forgiving the people who have hurt me.  I am just struggling to ask God to forgive me.  Why?  I don't know.  I know I need God's grace, always, in my life.  But today I am sitting here talking to God and yet I can't seem to bring myself to partake in the communion elements sitting in front of me.

Isn't that what talking to God is about?  Communing with him?  Why can I talk with him, yet not take communion?

On a completely random side thought, isn't "awkward" an awkward word?