Breaking News!

Puca learned how to meow!

Its about as exciting as a baby taking his first steps, or saying a word for the first time. She's so proud of herself that now she meows any time you look at her.

How to sing the Blues

I got this from KarenKool's blog, and she did not write it. So we have no idea where it came from but its really awesome. I think there should be one about country music too.

EDIT: I did a little research, and this writing appears to have been written by Judith Podell in 1997 for Wordrights Magazine. Thanks Judith for an awesome essay!



1. Most Blues begin “woke up this mornin'.”

2. “I got a good woman” is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in right away: "I got a good woman—with the meanest face in town."

3. Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes. Sort of.
I got a good woman with the meanest face in town.
I got a good woman with the meanest face in town.
She got teeth like Margaret Thatcher
And she weighs 500 pounds.

4. The Blues are not about limitless choice.
You stuck in a ditch,
You stuck in a ditch;
Ain't no way out.

5. Blues cars are Chevies, Cadillacs and broken down trucks. Other acceptable Blues transportation modes include Greyhound buses and southbound trains. Walkin’ plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Jet aircraft and state sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running.

6. Adults sing the Blues. Teenagers can’t sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. In the Blues, "adulthood" means old enough to get the electric chair when you shoot that man in Memphis.

7. You can have the Blues in New York City, but not in Brooklyn or Queens. Hard times in Vermont, Tucson, or North Dakota are just depression. The best places to have the Blues are still Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8. Breaking your leg while skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg when your broken down pickup truck rolled over on it is.

9. The following colors do not belong in the Blues: violet, beige, mauve (unless you’re truly desperate for a rhyme).

10. You can’t have the Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is just plain wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

11. Good places to have the Blues: the highway, a jailhouse, an empty bed, the bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places to have the Blues: ashrams, gallery openings, weekends in the Hamptons, golf courses.

12. No one will believe it’s the Blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old black man—and it’s an old black suit.

13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?

Answer “Yes” if:
a. your first name is a southern state—like Georgia
b. you’re blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis.
d. you can’t be satisfied.

Answer “No” if:
a. you once were blind but now can see.
b. you’re deaf
c. the man in Memphis lived.
d. you have a trust fund or an IRA.

14. Blues is not about color, it's about bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues; Gary Coleman could. Ugly old white people got a leg up on the blues. Julio Iglesias and Barbra Streisand will never sing the Blues.

15. If you ask for water and baby gives you gasoline, it’s the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are: wine, whiskey, muddy water, black coffee. Blues beverages are NOT: mixed drinks, kosher wine, sparkling water or Snapple (all flavors).

16. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is a Blues death. So is substance abuse, the electric chair, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is not a Blues death to die during liposuction or from tennis elbow.

17. Excellent names...
For female Blues singers: Sadie, Big Momma, Bessie, or Fat River Dumpling.
For male Blues singers: Willie, Joe, Little Willie, Lightning, or Big Willie.
Singers with names like Muffy, Sierra, Auburn, Sequoia, Brittany or Rainbow are not permitted to sing the Blues, no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

18. Here's a Build Your Own Blues Singer Name Starter Kit:
a. Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, Asthmatic)
b. First name (from above lists) or name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi)
c. Last name of a U. S. president (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)

Examples: Blind Lime Jefferson, Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. Okay, maybe not "Kiwi".

visiting

Today I got to spend time with Steve's family. We went to a really great sushi bar and I managed to work up the courage to try a piece with seared scallop in it. I tried seared tuna once before but it was very seared, closer to medium-well than medium-rare. This scallop was the real deal, and is the closest I have been to ingesting raw fish. One of these days, I will work up the courage to be a real bird of prey and eat it raw. Carnivores be proud, I did try beef tartar once. It was beefy. And raw. That's a story for another blog; in fact, it was blogged here. (In case you were wondering, the lobster and scallop in the sushi roll blended nicely and were very creamy. They didn't taste "fishy" at all and the texture of the scallop was not as "raw" as I expected.

We also watched Love Actually, which is the best Christmas movie I think will ever be made. Most of the Christmas movies focus on Christmas, this one focuses on relationships. Its not a children's Christmas movie. At the same time though, sometimes you have to hate a movie simply because there's a single line in it that drives you crazy because it hits you deep in the center of your gut. I kinda feel that way about Love Actually.

Steve's brother also opened up a bottle of ice wine for us to try. I had never had it before, but it was definitely good. Unfortunately, it seems I have expensive tastes in alcohol, with Lambic beer, champagne, some white wines and now ice wine. I suppose that's really a good thing, safer for me that way.

All in all it was a good day and I am really blessed that Steve's family allowed me to join them in their family traditions today.

Potluck and Louis

So, today was the post-Thanksgiving Potluck at Cara's house. We started the meal off with a general "So, I guess we should be thankful and sh#$," followed by a toast to Marco, who is not deceased but simply not at any organized functions. After that came a great number of quotable moments, all of which I have forgotten due to my inability to write them down at the moment. I believe Joyce had a good one, but alas, they are all lost to me.

After dinner we broke out the good ol' game of Cranium. Team Bench, Team Couch, Team Asia and Team Alcohol began competing for the title of Brain Masters. While Team Asia led the way most of the time, Team Alcohol managed to catch up and win with the help of the lucky penny. Notable moments included the realization that the die will always land on yellow unless you actually want it to land on yellow, and the great performance award of the night went to Andrew. He was supposed to read the person's name on the card, then act out clues by singing or speaking the way the person would. The timer started, and he just sat there, prompting the guess "Helen Keller." When he finally moved into action, we were surprised by the best Louis Armstrong imitation ever. Unfortunately, Jess guessed Grover, and Steve guessed the correct name after the timer was up, and no one could believe that Louis Armstrong's name had been forgotten.

After the losers had to eat Steve's muffins (which were excellent and only looked a little dark), most of us left. Steve and I continued on to another party involving his high school friends, and a TON more food. We had just missed a few rounds of Hoopla, which is a Cranium spin-off. After dinner, they were tired of Hoopla, so guess which game ended up open on the living room floor? Thats right, I found myself in yet another game of Cranium involving a Team Couch. Even though it was a different set, the die still persistently landed on yellow, Humdingers was still the worst category next to Copycat, and Club Craniums were still just as chaotic.

The best moment from this game however was when Steve had to act out a person. He stood up and began mimicking huge steps, then remembered he could talk. "Thats one small step for man..." So we fumbled with shouting out astronaut names until we remembered "Neil Armstrong." At that, Steve paused, set back. It was the wrong person. Then a flash of inspiration: "I see skies of blue..." and of course that was all I needed to get the name and satisfy the ghost of Louis Armstrong that he will not be forgotten.

Through a series of events the lucky penny ended up in my pocket, but it was not as lucky for me as it was for Cara, and I was once again not on the winning team. I will have to give it back to her next time I see her.

And that was all that I can remember about this eventful day. Goodnight!

Jesus vs. Satan

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,
JESUS SAVES !

Being Thankful...

How are your relatives doing? You had to ask, I knew you would. Ehh here's the scoop, most of them ditched NJ this year. P and D went to NY, M and E went to Florida, Uncle whatever his name is stayed in California like always... I don't remember what his name is. B and T stayed in GA, B and J stayed in Maryland with the kids and grandkids. P is just the second coming of G; she's just like her sister and as rude as ever, I wonder why T was/is interested in them. (No, this particular family is not inbred, it just has a lot of non-genetic relations.) J was actually sober when we walked in but that changed by dinner time. J2 was surprisingly allowing affection, which means she may be healing a bit better from her grief than last time I saw her. And K and A were dutiful and have life figured out, like always.

Ok that was exciting.

Now for the part where I list the things I'm thankful for. I know everyone does this but I am in a place right now where the list is short enough to be acceptable material for a blog.

1. I am thankful that my mom and dad and brother and I enjoy being in each other's company, and that we can spend hours laughing at the dinner table.

2. I am thankful that I have a few select friends who allow me to totally open up to them and who genuinely try to help me and love me.

3. I am thankful for Jack because he lets me see a simple life.

4. I am thankful for Steve. I am thankful for his strength and his pep-talks, and his logical brain that keeps me from over analyzing into the realm of impossible. I am thankful that he is observant and romantic and knows when to cheer me up and when to run for cover.

Thats all I have to say right now. I feel like a lot of things have been stripped from my life that if I had them, I'd be thankful for them but I don't have them and I am learning that it is possible to live without all that. So this is my list. Thats all I have to say. Be thankful people. Don't just enjoy this holiday for the undercooked turkey and the cavity sweet potatoes and the wine and cigars and days off of work. Think about what you can't live without.

PS. I am also thankful for Pocky. Google it if you don't know.

The second snowfall... and HENNA

Friday morning we woke up to this, the second snowfall of the year.


On Tuesday, I renewed my henna hair. Its not as vibrant this time around because NJ has no sunlight in November.

overheard

"cupid shot that arrow through a glass cross."

huh?

Bad movie titles.

Although this article sometimes bashes the movies as well as the titles, the emphasis is really that Hollywood takes advantage of its movie-going audience by tacking a really stupid name onto a decent or perhaps really good movie. Here are my favorites:

"Octopussy (1983)
OK, we all get the thing about Bond films and winking, leering, in-the-know double entendre. But the penultimate Bond film featuring Roger Moore was completely out of hand. It doesn't even qualify as double entendre. It barely qualifies as single entendre. It's just porno. And bad, stale, old-man porno at that. Porno with a bad toupee and a body double for the stunts. Double-oh-nothing.

Free Willy (1993)
Uh... what can one say about a movie called "Free Willy," particularly one aimed at kids that features a theme song by Michael Jackson. If "Octopussy" is intentionally graphic with a coy wink, this title is the photo negative: a blatant double entendre screaming to be born that goes completely unacknowledged by the film itself. It's hard to know which is worse, but because this film has a magical killer whale who learns to love a young boy ... oh, never mind."

Am I going to hell for this?

I am craving an alcoholic beverage for the simple reason that I am not pregnant.

I am thinking about random vacations or potentially long-term vacations simply because I am not married and have no career to speak of.

Despite the fact that I am not pregnant, I still feel justified in making strange food concoctions like White Chocolate Milk Chocolate Hazelnut Irish Cream Coffee and yes it has genuine caffeine in it. Why? Because there's no medical reason not to.

There might be something wrong with me. Its just too mean to enjoy things other people can't. Right?

blog quizzes

Earlier this week I was feeling kind of down. So when Steve went to the store to pick up some Italian bread, he came back with a bouquet of flowers. It really picked my mood up off the ground.








While I have the camera out, I may as well show you all some flowers from around my house. Even in November, our stuff is still flowering. This is quite unusual for my house.






My parents left for Cape Cod Friday morning. An hour after they left, I was up, out of bed, and cleaning the house. I hung things that have been waiting to be hung for years, I moved the mattress from my old apartment out of the dining room and into the basement, covered it up so the cats can't destroy it, moved the dining room table up against the wall so there's less room for mom to store things on it, and then made dinner and watched three movies straight so that I could get my knitting done (I have to keep my mind busy while I knit). It was productive.

That night we had our first snowfall. I woke up Saturday morning to see it already melting, but when it first came down it was a little less than an inch deep. It had been raining all day so it was good that it didn't stick or we would have had lots of ice underneath.



Saturday morning I got up and when it was decided that Steve, Taylor, and Navin would be coming to visit, I vacuumed, straightened things up, did the dishes, emptied the freezer, and threw out items from between 2000 and 2005. When they got here, we went to the store and got ingredients. Navin was the Chef, Steve the Sous Chef, Taylor the Saucier, and I was the Garde Manger. Thank you, Ratatouille.

After dinner we made a fire in the wood-burning stove, and had white mocha hot chocolate and watched a movie. It was awesome.



Sunday around 1:30 I started in on the porch. I threw out crap, I put things in the garage, I swept, vacuumed, beat the rugs, and filled the wood bin. I was ensuring that we would actually USE the stove this winter. I then cleaned up a little more from last night, and cleaned the basement floor as well, which had kitty litter all over it.

Its funny because Jack is always in such a rush to be the first to use the litter box after its been cleaned. The look of contentment that crossed his face while he was squatting there was just hilarious.

To wind down and relax a little, I took some online quizzes. I took the "what drug is your personality like?" quiz, the "what city do you belong in?" quiz, and the "what carnival ride are you?" quiz. I have discovered that I am Heroin, I belong in Rome, and I am a carousel.

You're capable of the highest highs and the lowest lows. Addicted to feeling good, you'll do almost anything to avoid pain. People seek you out, even though you can be quite moody. They're hooked on you! At your best: You are euphoric, stress free, and a little sleepy. What people like about being around you: They're not exactly sure, but they can't get enough about you. What people dislike about being around you: When you finally leave, they go some pretty serious withdrawl. How addicted people get to you: Very... you're quite dangerous.

You're a big city soul with a small town heart which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome. Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand, and gorgeous Italian people - could life get any better?

You are young at heart and a truly playful person. No one would ever accuse you of taking life too seriously. You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure. In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of. And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal. Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy. You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you. You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you. Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children. At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative. Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully. At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy. You've been known to act like a brat if you aren't getting your way!

I suppose now I should go feed myself and the cats.

Oh yeah, and I put the guinea pig on a diet. Its not a starvation diet, but I'm sure SHE thinks it is. Yay for accomplishments. Now if only I had the energy to clean my room...

things from the past

A few months ago I had the opportunity to try Rice Dream, a lactose-free ice cream based on rice milk. Mom used to buy it off a big co-op truck when I was little and I loved it. Its much better than tofutti ice cream. By far. By miles. By LIGHT YEARS. But that just means that tofutti is REALLY bad. It doesn't necessarily mean Rice Dream is good. Since I couldn't remember, I bought some when I found it in a health food store.

As it turns out, things are usually better in your memories. Don't get me wrong, Rice Dream is pretty good. But its not like it was when I was little.

Today, I cleaned out the freezer. I found stuff in the back that expired seven years ago. It was not bought seven years ago. It EXPIRED seven years ago. I discovered that peas lose all their water molecules when they are frozen for seven years, which means you can't really thaw them out because they don't change state anymore.

I also found an energy bar called Ginseng Sunrise. This is another item off my mom's co-op truck, which hasn't come since at least 1996. This was also one of my favorite treats from back then. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I decided to try it to see what it tasted like. Lo and behold, this bar is just as good in my memories as it is now, eleven years later. I don't know if it just doesn't age, or if in my memories the bars always tasted like they were eleven years old, or what, but this thing is delicious.

I'm going to have to buy myself some more of them. Maybe they will be even better, maybe phenomenal, when they are fresh.

Wheeee!

Life is complicated

There's really nothing much to write. After the daylight savings change, I want to just curl up and hibernate until the spring comes again. November isn't a good month for me.

I'm having memories of a time in my past when the summer wind tugged at my hair and cupid wasn't a bad guy. My life was figured out and money wasn't a thought in my mind. The wind was God's breath and the sunset was a masterpiece for me. Then it all went away and later, I found myself back in that awesome place, except without the poetic sunset imagery. Now its November again.

Memories of November include trying to skip it altogether, every year for as far back as I can remember, and only gathering more reasons to try harder to make it disappear. I think I write this post every year just to get it off my chest.

more random musings

I did a lot of driving today. Driving for a long time usually gives me a time to let my mind go rambling. Even when I stopped in various places to get my errands run, my mind was still doing its own thing. It was there, its not like those days when my mind completely takes a vacation. But it was just doing its own thing.

1. The Rutgers Kodenkan Jujitsu Club has been hit in the past year or two with several abdominal operations, two of them emergency appendectomies. Today my mind ramblings were abruptly cut short by a sharp pain in my side. I looked around to see where the guy with the knife was going because I was sure I'd just been stabbed. There was another sharp pain and I thought about a friend of mine, who told me his appendicitis felt like there were glass shards moving through his intestines. I took a deep breath and told myself appendicitis is NOT contagious, and there will not be a third jujitsu appendectomy. The cashier at Shoprite then told me that the basket goes under the conveyor belt, not hanging from my arm. I think she thought I was crazy or something cause I was staring off into space giving myself a little pep talk. But its good. I'm glad I can talk myself out of life-threatening situations.

2. Did you ever find yourself in a situation that was so bad you knew you had to pray but you weren't even sure what to pray for because you don't know what is in the best interests of all involved? Its a sickening feeling.

3. Food for thought. Completely random, this is where my mind takes me sometimes. In the Bible, everyone knows the story of Daniel, civil disobedience regarding religious practice and the subsequent discount stay in Lion's Den Motel. But not many people know that before that, when Daniel was first brought as a captive to the palace, they wanted him to eat like one of them, pork and unclean meats and all that. Daniel decided he wanted to continue to eat like a Hebrew and said so. He told them they should experiment- put him on a vegetable and water diet and watch him for a few days and watch the rest of the young men who were eating the meat and wine. At the end of the period of time, if he was not healthier than the other young men, then he would submit and eat like them. At the end of the trial period, they were all amazed at the difference, and Daniel continued to eat his vegetables. Nowadays, if a person is fasting eating only vegetables and no meats, breads, starches, etc, they call it a Daniel Fast. And this story isn't really going anywhere, other than to say that I'd be interested in trying some sort of fast sometime... but I have to have a regular eating schedule to start with otherwise I'll probably end up passing out or something.

4. Complete change of topic that may be uncomfortable for some of my more modest readers. I was thinking about Scrubs and how Elliot has this sexual fantasy of a Mexican apple thief coming into the ciderhouse to steal apples and falling in love with her. I was wondering if people really have odd sexual fantasies like that, or is it more of a generalized fantasy, like the rape fantasy that I've heard some people mention. I was thinking about it and by putting two and two together, I came to the conclusion that a person I know that I haven't spoken to in a long time might have had a kidnapping sexual fantasy, just based on some things this person said to me. It is somewhat disturbing but also fascinating that one thing might be a complete turn-off while at the same time it is quite exciting to another person. What causes different preferences in people, even expanding the question to non-sexual situations, why do our personalities make us choose different things?

Yeah so those were the burning topics in my mind today, other than the "Gotta wake up, gotta run errands, take my brother to school, find lunch, go to Morristown for jujitsu, go see if I can meet up with Navin, if not, gotta go to sleep cause Tuesday is going to be busy too" thoughts.

K thats all. What do y'all think of the new layout? Not my personality? Maybe dragons are MY sexual fantasy, hahaha.

wood spiders

This is my first attempt at uploading a video. Let's see how it goes.

I have no idea who owns the copyright to this, it came to me in email form, so I assume it is in the public domain. It ends with something about the National Film Board of Canada. This is my C.Y.A. disclaimer. Don't sue me or delete my blog for posting something that everyone is getting in their inbox anyway. Thank you.

Intelligence

I happened to come across a Q&A session with Barack Obama on Youtube. The question was about how Obama feels Stephen Colbert's candidacy will affect his campaign. Below, viewers were able to comment on the video. Here's my favorite. It is indicative of the need for young people to have a high school and/or college level course on American Government.

"And plus, Colbert said he was running for prez of South Carolina. lol Not the whole United Sates... Just South Carolina!"

Yup. Everyone, head to the polls, we need to make sure we vote because we all want Stephen Colbert to be the President of South Carolina.

oops

I forgot to mention the coolest Halloween costume ever. It was a group costume, a whole bunch of them dressed up like Christmas carolers and went to every door performing Christmas songs for Halloween candy. It was the first costume I have ever seen that required Trick-or-treaters to actually DO a trick.

I know them... kinda... so I'm wondering if they will let me come caroling with them in a few weeks.

Halloween

Soo... on October 30, Taylor, Navin, Anissa, and I decided to hang out in costume on Halloween at Anissa's house. Nothing like last minute costume ideas. I haven't dressed up as anything (excluding theater performances) in 10 years. My elementary school was run by the Baptist equivalent of a Catholic nun so Halloween was discouraged. To make up for it, we were allowed to dress as either a Pilgrim or an Indian at the school Thanksgiving banquet. So literally, it has been 9 years and 11 months since I last appeared in public in costume. A Judo gi doesn't count.

Luckily... many of my articles of clothing are eccentric, so when you take a lot of eccentric items and put them together you can usually cross the border into costume-land.



Deek is my pet dragon. He's giving my cheek lovies in this picture haha.




Deek and Me, inspecting the flowers.


After mom gave my camera back and let me leave the house, I got to Anissa's and we all had to help her with her costume. Taylor's sister did Anissa's eyes.




Of course, just because she's wearing a mask doesn't mean she's not Indian underneath. You MUST cook for your guests if you are Indian.


Navin and Taylor were Clark Kent and Lois Lane, which was cute.


After midnight, we all decided to leave Anissa in peace. I wished on a shooting star because Anissa told me it was All Saint's Day and whoever the saints are will hear it. It came true almost immediately so I guess my wish was too simple.

And that's all. Happy All Saint's Day, everyone!