Random

I went to Walmart today, the new one that opened up close to my house. It is much better than the North Brunswick Walmart, which you have to have a passport in order to enter, and is reminiscent of that time my grandparents took me to a dusty, dingy Mexico town. When I'm at that Walmart, I always half expect a little Mexican girl to shove a box of bubble gum in my face yelling, "Un Quarto!! Un Quarto!!"

This Walmart, because of its proximity to a senior citizen's home, requires a wheelchair and/or a walker. I grabbed a shopping cart, hoping no one would notice it wasn't a walker, and took a look around. I discovered that this store is nestled on the side of a mountain, and is in fact looking over the entire Ramapo Mountain chain. Prime real estate. Like, for condos. I would pay extra to have a townhouse with a view like that. Why on earth would they waste it on a WALMART?? I'm tempted to become homeless and live in the parking lot at the Walmart.

So, I got inside, and there's another perk. Instead of the traditional McDonald's, or even worse, generic-brand McDonald's copy, there's a Subway!! Like where you can get vegetarian food with lots of real green vegetables. Wow. Walmart just went up a notch in my book.

Despite all the perks, I couldn't figure out why everyone I passed (guy or girl) was looking at my chest. I'm quite sure I haven't noticeably grown in that area, and I'm pretty sure that at breakfast I didn't spill on myself. What's everybody looking at? Do I have a preying mantis nursing on my chest? I glance down... Ohhhhhh. Right... I'm in the boondocks, and I'm wearing a jujitsu t-shirt with one guy getting thrown- what is that, Seoi Nage?- by another guy, both of them outlined in electric blue. Oops. I forgot.

Its a beige shirt, so I didn't think it was flashy. I forgot people up here don't know how to read so their eyes focus automatically on pictures. Hmm... I'll have to revise my wardrobe I think.