Reading faces like a wolf...

I recently visited a church I've never attended before. While putting on my coat to leave, I was ambushed by two girls caked with makeup and hair that screamed "OH PLEASE STOP TORTURING ME!!"

"Hi!!!! I'm Jodi, and this is Elizabeth!!!" Not their real names; I forgot their names the moment I replied politely with my own.

"Have you been coming here long??!!" I replied that I was visiting the church because a friend attends, and pointed her out. "OHH thats great!! We loooove her so much!!"

The whole conversation continued like that. My friend came over to say hi to the girls, and they talked for much longer than I had the patience for. Elizabeth had such a large grin stuck to her face that I thought the skin on her nose was going to rip off. It reminded me of a story I once read about a girl who was lost in the wilderness. She tried to show the wolves she was friendly and not food by smiling at them but then realized that a smile to a wolf looks the same way a snarl does- squinted eyes, raised lips and bared teeth. I imagined I must have part wolf in me.

My friend wandered away and I was now finished bundling up for my trip back into the cold. The girls took the hint that I was leaving. "Well, it was wonderful meeting you; I hope we see you again soon!!!" And then they both hugged me.

I have to say, I love hugs. I love hugging my friends, and I sometimes hug my Asian friends who grew up without that in their culture and find it "weird." But that is the thing. I hug my friends. People who I know will forgive me for not adhering to their cultural differences, people who love me regardless of my invasion of their personal space. (And yes, I need my own space too. I am not a 24-7 hug machine.)

If I have just insulted you five times in three paragraphs written in my head while you continued talking, don't hug me. If I am new to your church and you appear to have a plastic grin on your face, don't hug me, and don't invite me back. And more importantly, if I have just compared you in my head to a helpless child and myself as a wolf, don't hug me.

I enjoyed the service quite a lot, I enjoyed being with my friend and having a new experience. But my impression of the church is that it embodies all the reasons I stopped going to a brick and mortar church (way-too-cheerful-people, worship songs that make no sense when you actually read the lyrics, nothing in the sermon that I didn't already know from 3rd grade.)

However, I did love the fact that my visit to the church caused me to imagine myself as a wolf. That was a highlight of my night.