totally not what should be doing

So... I had my last meeting with the fourth graders today teaching creative dramatics. I'm kind of sad and kind of glad to be done. They were rowdy last week, and the teacher yelled at them in Spanish. Today they acted like whipped puppies, and my partner, who is fluent in Spanish, explained that the teacher had given them the classic hispanic guilt trip, "You are the worst class ever, you can't do anything right, you better not cry when I call your parents." I almost wish I could have them permanently, as my students so that I could tell them they're using their imaginations perfectly, and they are great actors, and they are doing fine.

Tomorrow I have a meteorology exam, which I should be studying for right now. But my concentration is a little off, and I'm really tired. So I'm doing this instead hahaha. I went to jujitsu tonight, and ever since the picnic, my leg has felt nice and I was really looking forward to doing some throws and falls tonight. Then, my leg started getting tired and someone did a throw wrong and threw me on my head. So, neither my head nor my neck nor my leg was very happy with that turn of events, so I sat out again. Still, I'm incredibly happy I at least got to do a couple of the throws. Now my neck is a little stiff (but there's a possiblity that is due to the amount of time I have spent hunched over my comp sci notes) and its making me tired (but there's a possibility that is due to the amount of sleep I have not been getting in the past... week or so). So that explains why my concentration is a bit off.

On a side note, I thought I was healing. But it turns out, I was just burying it under a lot of schoolwork and social activity. Now that everything related to college life is winding down for the summer, the layers of distracting bandaids are starting to come off, and its not pretty underneath. I really gotta work on that. I think I am making progress though. Pretty soon, a good portion of the reminders will be gone... hopefully it will be out of sight, out of mind, out of heart. I'll be on my own again. No more ghosts and phantom pain. The question is, do I really want that? And is it really good for me? What exactly is God's plan in all of this? Why did it happen? I don't know.

Well, yeah... time for me to get back to reading about the El Niño effect. The only reading assigned for the class and I'm doing it the night before the final. I'm such a good student...