Chinese Candy Translations

The package of the pineapple candy states:

"The gorgeous taste of fully ripened pineapple, imposing as a southern island king crowned in glory, is yours to enjoy in every soft and juicy Kasugai Pineapple Gummy."

And the muscat candy:

"Its translucent color so alluring and taste and aroma so gentle and mellow offer admiring feelings of a graceful lady. Enjoy soft and juicy Kasugai Muscat Gummy."

So my question is this: When is Hershey going to advertise candy that makes you think nice thoughts about the opposite sex?

When asking this in my away message the other day, I got this response:

In a way, doesn't American candy already do that? If the tiny bite-sized Milky Ways are "Fun Size", would that not subliminally suggest that the full size or king-sized bars are complete ecstasy? Anyway, keep smiling!

Anyhow... just some food for thought. Literally.