not even in the mood to cry.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of talking to walls, things were more interesting when I was the fly listening in. Maybe I should give up. Maybe its time to go back and be the wallflower girl whose friends have no idea what's going on in her life because she puts herself down on paper instead of the internet.

Social interactions can be so hard sometimes. Why anyone even deals with the hassle is beyond me. Its like driving in NJ. I haven't gotten my license because the hassle of taking the bus everywhere is less than the hassle of trying to predict which idiot is going to cut you off or run a red or rear end you out of nowhere and drive away. I simply don't want to deal with it. And for a long time I didn't deal with the crap that comes out of social interactions either.

Ironic that this happened now, since I just watched the movie Crash tonight. Its a movie that combines car accidents with a bunch of people who, socially have no tact whatsoever, or downright disrespect. Funny how they are two things I just don't want to deal with. Cars and opening yourself up to another human being who has the power to make you feel important, or the power to turn everything around, and make them the one with the problem instead of you.

I hate dealing with it. I hate putting up with crap I don't want to do. I hate growing up, and I hate realizing things about myself that should not be so. I hate change.