4:30 AM

After a long dry spell, a long hard cry, a long argument with a human voice of reason, I am now equipped to argue with God.

God, I'm trying really hard to do whatever it is that you have planned for my life but I can't seem to find a direction that I think you want me to go. I feel like you are letting me down by not telling me what I should do.

I have summed it up a bit, the real conversation sounded more like a temper tantrum.

And God says, "You aren't listening."

And when I listen, I hear the voices of reason, I see myself deliberately avoiding some of the people who make the most sense, and I don't hear God. I only hear the voices of reason. But who is to say that those voices are not the voice of God? Can it be that they are there because he wants me to listen to voices of reason instead of him? Can it be that he doesn't want to make the decision for me? Can it be that he wants me to put on my big girl panties?

How many of you thought I was incredibly sacrilegious for thinking that God would ever say "put on your big girl panties"? How many of you shot milk out your nose?

After struggling with the issue for a long time, I am finally able to bring my mood out of the depths a little and go to bed with some light humor on my mind.

First watch this video: Carrie Underwood

Then watch the new version: go here and under "featured videos" click the second one down (look for the word Cletus).

For the record, God and I have reached an understanding. Or rather, I have reached an understanding. God always had it I think. But that doesn't mean my life is great because of it. It just means I get it.