God...

So, this entry might actually fit the original purpose of this blog, that is, to share the ways that God is a defining factor in my life.

Yesterday at church, I was miserable. For some reason, I haven't been sleeping well in the past couple of months, and Sunday morning (while not as bad sleep-wise as this morning) wasn't such a good day. During the worship service, I felt as if it was just some guys playing music. Worship is intended to bring people into the presence of the creator of the universe, and I didn't really feel that yesterday. I guess it was kind of a blah feeling. It wasn't the fault of the musicians at all, its just that I've been struggling to really get into it anyway. I got really tired, not just in body, but in spirit. I'm tired of a lot of things in my life. So I sat down, because it was also affecting me physically and I felt weak from lack of sleep.

I still sang along a bit, and tried to worship, but I let my mind wander. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was one of my theatrical mentors from way back when. He knelt down and told me all about how God told him to talk to me, tell me that things may seem kind of flat right now, but to keep pressing on, because things are about to get exciting, so don't give up. Then, I noticed the tears in his eyes. Ok, it sounds a little inconsequential, but I've always had a thing about guys crying. Tears in a man's eyes are more powerful than in a woman's because they are more rare. Not to be crude in this example, but Hitler brought tears to his eyes in many of his speeches, and look at how many people he convinced of his cause. So, I thought, "Maybe this is God's way of getting my attention. Maybe I wouldn't have taken it so seriously if I hadn't seen his tears." So bottom line is, God hasn't forgotten about me, and he does care about me, even though right now I feel like a puddle in the summertime, all set and ready for that green algae.

So that's what God is doing in my life for the time being.