HMM...

My dreams are back... After church on Sunday, something happened which sort of tested my convictions. "Are you sure you know what love is? Are you prepared to prove it?" And I know in my mind what I have to do, but I hesitated. And then I started having all these crazy dreams. I know that in this case, its not just something I ate the night before, and that I'm supposed to learn something through them. I even have a little inkling of what it is I'm supposed to learn. But I don't want to believe I know what they mean.

Take this one for instance: I dreamed I murdered someone, but I couldn't see their face. There wasn't much struggle, it was a quick strangle with a bandanna, from behind... trecherous me... I knew there was no reason for it, and I knew it was both wrong and unexcused (excused being something like self-defense). So I sat in my kitchen waiting for the police to come. When they got there, I realized it was my uncle (who in reality is a plumber, not a cop) who was investigating. He examined the bodies (where the second one came from I'm not sure) and, long story shortened a bit, he sat me down and told me that none of this ever happened because it is a dream telling me what might happen in the future (spiritually, emotionally?) if I don't heed the warning. What was the warning? He never said. But the last thing I heard before I woke up was that the bodies were two lovers who'd killed each other on a date.

Sounds like kind of a pessimistic view on love. But I think I'm supposed to figure out the warning for myself. Which is something I am not sure I have the spiritual or emotional energy to do. But anyway... there's more to this whole theory I have about this dream... but I guess right now, I don't have the courage to face it and put it in words in a blog. Or even in my private journal.

So yeah... bottom line: God is giving me a pop-quiz on what I wrote about on Sunday. I think its pass/fail, and I don't know how I'm going to do. Time will tell.