can't sleep again...

Yeah I can't sleep. At least I don't have head monsters again. This is something else entirely. I should sleep. My final exam is tomorrow. But I can't. I have head butterflies because something happened to make me happy. For all of you who know, I've been tormented by stuff lately. And the stuff is still there but its not tormenting me anymore. I won't let it. And I haven't been this happy in a long time.

On a separate note, someone did something this weekend that bothered me. I'm not losing sleep over it. But it hurts. And it was immature of the person. I never thought they'd be capable of hurting me. But that's ok. People are people. I'm still going to be there for them if they ever need me.

Something else to talk about... in jujitsu today, we focused on grappling. It was a lot of fun. I think it helped me in the other areas of jujitsu because it helped me focus and commit to what I was doing. For example, if we just do throws all night, its not very threatening; it becomes very practiced and choreographed. But in grappling, if someone's trying to sit on my chest, I know they mean it, and its like I rise to meet the challenge. Then once I'm in that mindset, I can put that commitment into the other things I do and it makes them better, less choreographed. Except for Sasae Ashi. I'm still horrible at that one. Its evil and it hates me.

Ok on that note... I'm going to make a half-hearted attempt at sleeping. And the other half goes to thinking? Perhaps...

Ok bye.