they had iaido in the bible.

To quote my away message, "grumble. the female body is stoooopiiiidd"

I couldn't figure out why my body was falling apart. Then at the computer lab I started cramping and then the lightbulb went on.

But my teacher made me feel a little better. I'm going to write out the script from class today, since the teacher is such an actor. The lecture was on the book of judges, but basically he acted out the story of Ehud.

Robertson: (I'm paraphrasing here to get to the good parts.) So the people did what was right in their own eyes, and the Lord allowed King Elgon to come in and conquer them and they were oppressed for years until the people cried out to God. AHHHHHHH. (He has just let out a bloodcurdling yell.) Uh. I better make sure no one is sending for the EMT squad. (Sneaks to the door and pokes his head out.) No no we're ok. (Closes the door.) So uh. Yeah, the people cried out to Yahweh and Yaweh heard their cry. Let's all have a corporate cry to God. Uh. You think thats a bad idea? I wonder what people will do.

Student: I don't think its a problem.

R: really? Hmm yeah cause if anyone comes running you all can explain the story of judges and then it will be ingrained in your heads and then you'll do better on the final. hmm no lets do a silent cry to Yahweh. Ready, One Two Three.

All: (whisper) AHHH

I think about silent kiais and my mind wanders to jujitsu. When I return to the lecture, Robertson is just saying:

R: Ehud was a left handed judge! If you're a southpaw in this class, raise your left hand!

Four people raise their hands.

R: Great! That's more than usual. But that's still... let's see, 48 in the class, that's less than 10%

I start writing numbers on my notes. I'm not a math major in any way but something tells me 12%.

R: So, King Eglon was a FAAAT man, in fact eglon sounds like the Hebrew word for young calf. But he wasn't a calf or cow, he was a BULL. He was a BIIIIG bull.

He sprawls on the desk, semireclined, with his arms out resting on invisible fat. Jumps up to play Ehud.

R: And Ehud made a sword that was a cubit long. How many know what a cubit is? (No answer.) Its the length from the edge of your elbow to your fingertips. So, each ancient isrealite had a different cubit cause arms are different lengths. See? (Compares with someone in the class.) My cubit's longer than yours.

He goes around the class room to some of the guys and they all compare their cubits. Typical males. Sigh.

R: So Ehud went before the King saying "I have a SECRET gift for you" and the king-

He turns around and sprawls on the desk again.

R: says SILENCE and sends all the guards and servants out of the room. He's kinda greedy. And then Ehud-

Jumps of the desk and turns to play Ehud.

R: jumps out and STABS Eglon with his cubit sword. WHOOSH! (Makes stabbing motion so I think of Andrew and Cara and iaido blackbelts.) And then Eglon's fat covers the sword GLUB GLUB GLUB and Ehud lets go. And then! Guess what?! Eglon's BOWELS EXPLODED! PFFFTTTBBLLLLL! (Makes Cyrus' spewing motion from iaido.)

So yeah... that kinda brightened my day a little.

The other thing that brightened it was that I found myself on Livingston and passed a Magnolia tree whose blooms were just beginning to crack open. YAAY spring, especially magnolia trees hehehe.

My mom and dad had their first kiss under a magnolia tree in Hackensack or Morristown I forget which. I think Morristown. Near the Iron Horse restaurant or pub or whatever it is. Anyway that reminds me of one other thing.

I was thinking about how I've dated people... and done cute romantic things. But somehow, very few of those things resembled a date in the sense that people talk about dates. Like getting dressed up, date coming to pick you up and take you someplace special involving dinner and some form of entertainment. A pre-planned date, not spontaneous. If I ever do that kind of date again-

mmm fond memories of the first of that kind :-)

-then I think it would be a trip to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Just two people. It would be fun to see a Broadway show with friends. But Phantom... I think I would pick that as a perfect date. Or even almost perfect.

The reason this is on my mind is Anissa was asking. *insert joke here* So that's a clearer definition of my answer.

Ok I've cleared my mind. I'm gonna go do some real homework instead of recounting my class adventure.