Three things

1. I am starting to hate Blogger. They made some kind of a deal with Google that makes logging in a nightmare from hell.

2. It has been a long time since grappling with someone resulted in them tapping out. Tonight, I discovered sutemi that can lead to my opponent tapping out. As I was grappling, I could hear Rod's voice in my head yelling at me not to hold back, but just go for it and mean it. I finally figured out how to do that. We were near the edge of the mat, and getting the tap required me to relinquish my comfort, and allow my head to press into the pavement. There was no other way. Grappling is not usually like that for me. I either win rarely, or I give up and tap out (more common). It is not often that I must make a sacrifice to reach my goal. I can over analyze this: I wonder if perhaps I have had this love-hate relationship with jujitsu because I have been allowing myself to give up my goal rather than make a sacrifice.

3. I have a little secret that I briefly thought about sending to postsecret.com but then decided its not necessary for me to be anonymous. Here it is: I love looking at myself in the mirror after Jujitsu, and seeing my hair mussed up and falling out of its braid. When my hair is mussed, that's when I feel the most beautiful.