When Hormones Attack

I have just dis- covered something dis- turbing.  I used to blame the hormones when I feel like taking out the world with a chainsaw.  I never really thought my body responded well to estrogen or progesterone, based on how many times I felt like roadkill on a monthly basis.  But I have just discovered that the times I am tempted to behave the worst are the times when I have neither of those hormones in my system.  Perhaps I actually am a... jerk that rhymes with witch, and the hormones are there to make me more normal.  Usually on my bad days my personality changes and I begin to have issues with people.  I am now curious what the deal was with those 11 months that I worked in the mall.  Someone must have been sneaking antihormone pills into my food or something.

Today's issues with people:

When I call you inquiring about a job opening, is it really that hard to call back, even if its to say, "Sorry, position filled"?

Please don't tell me how to run a business, and please don't tell me that its my duty to work pro-bono.  There's a reason it costs money to be trained to do what I do.  (That being said, there IS a volunteer job I am considering taking because I believe it may advance what I'm doing.)

Please don't tell me something so obscure I have no idea what you are talking about and then ask me not to share it.  I'm not going to share it, I don't even know what the heck kind of problem you are having because you haven't told me anything.

Please don't text message a single word to me.  That "Hey" just cost 20 cents.  Don't put feelers out to see if I'm near my phone, just say what you want to say and when I am near the phone I will respond to you.

If we are best friends, I will say so.  If I haven't said so, its not because I'm shy, its because I choose not to hurt you by throwing you to the curb.  This is the same reason children think I love them.

Call me.  I don't even remember now why you need to call me but you do.  Its the principle of the matter.