Signs you're an LTC stage manager

First, check this out. http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/2203/theatrejokes.html

1. You go to log into a Rutgers computer and instead of typing your Rutgers id, you type the LTC username.

2. Your phone rings two hours before rehearsal and you answer it because you automatically assume its a cast member with a crisis.

3. Your family forgets what you look like.

4. Your friends are shocked when you tell them you have two whole hours to hang out.

5. You can't remember the last time you were asleep before midnight.

6. You spend the weekends in the nearest location you can find to the rehearsal space so you can get there on time.

7. You can't remember what number 7 was because you forgot to write it down in the prompt book and cue yourself to type it.

long overdue congrats

Cyrus tested for Ikkyu in Jujitsu on Thursday (and passed!). So, this is a little late in coming, but here's public recognition and congratulations!

As for me, I've been stressed out about stuff lately, and after jujitsu today, Cyrus, Steve, and I went to Anissa's for massage. It was sooo amazing and relaxing, and after that, Anissa had me take a hot bath, which was also amazing. Topping it off with ice cream and warm fuzzy socks, I now feel like I can make it through the next couple of days without jumping into the hole they are digging to China over on Livingston.

Speaking of which... that hole is kinda creepy. On Halloween night, the first night of the hole, the walkway was dark because they had taken out some of the lights during the construction process. For some reason, maybe a busted pipe or something, there was steam rising from the hole, with some distant lights sort of backlighting it. It looked like a hole to hell or something. But it was in the wrong place... the hole to hell is somewhere else on Livingston that I can think of. LOL but I'll be polite and not say anything else haha.

Ok, I'm relaxed and energized, so even though I have class early tomorrow, I'm not ready to go sleep yet.

:`(

I'm sitting here, and Molly seems to have decided that her present mission in life is to make me smile. Somehow, she always knows I need cheering up, when no other human does. Makes me think if cats were human they'd make a really tough audience for an actor, because they'd see right through you to who you really are.

I'm stage managing for LTC, and its stealing my soul. LTC isn't the same company it was last time I worked on a show with them.

I was thinking today, about the first drama teacher I ever had. Well, not technically the first, but the real first was more like musical theater, not straight acting. Beth... she was so outgoing and quirky. But she poured her life into producing theater. In August she would write the script, September begin gathering actors and costumes, October begin props and lighting, and November build the set. She designed everything, she directed everything, she organized groups of people to help her build and paint. In December, the show would open. After strike the actors had a week or two off, but she would spend it writing the next script. Our theatrical season ended in April, but she wouldn't finish putting costumes away until June. Then it was time to think about the next season. It was crazy.

And in all that I wondered why she was single. Now I'm working for LTC, and I know. Your friends can't possibly maintain the patience unless they too are crazy about theater. I say crazy and mean it. If I hadn't put 3 1/2 years into a theater major, I might change it just to keep my sanity.

Don't get me wrong. The show is awesome. The music is good, our choreographer is incredible. But everything else makes me want to throw bananas at people.

ps

Next week in makeup class is fantasy or an animal.

I'm torn between Molly, or the Autumn Fairy from Fantasia.

Any ideas anyone?

run run run

Today, I went to my makeup class. The topic was injuries. So, I made myself up to look like Dorothy. Upon arriving in Oz via Air Kansas, my pilot landed on the Wicked Witch of the East. The Lollipop Guild, Local #417, was secretly in league with Ms. East's sister, West. Fearing a political assassination, the Guild boycotted, but quickly escalated to a riot. I was stabbed in the leg by a lollipop stick. Upon bending over in pain, I was struck in the head by a lollipop, causing bruises and lacerations to the face and temple. The force of the blow broke the lollipop, pieces of which were then forced into my mouth, and could not be removed except surgically. Sitting next to me was a girl who was attacked by a werewolf. Next to her was a guy who had a sizzling fajita plate dumped on him. His makup came complete with slices of cheese and meat stuck to his face with liquid latex. It was cool.

Anyway, I rushed back to my apartment and actually had time to eat sitting down today. The downside of that is it would only have filled Anissa's stomach. I rushed out with my jujitsu bag, and decided to play a game. It was called the "Lets-see-how-many-old-guys-can-hit-on-
Meghan-before-she-loses-her-cool-and-stabs-one-with-a-lollipop?" Game.

Remember last Thursday? The crazy guys? Yeah I think the police missed one. Either that or every guy over 40 in New Brunswick is, as the Germans say, "heiss." Sorry to disappoint you all, but I can't write a script like I did last week because there was no dialogue. I was carrying Anissa's lollipop and gripped a little tighter, but I don't think he even knew I heard him.

Anyway. If someone doesn't do something about the traffic in New Brunswick, I'm going to have to keep walking to jujitsu on Thursdays. And if that happens, and New Brunswick still has men in it, eventually I'm going to lose it and (most likely not physically but verbally) lambast someone. Ha! I did it. I've always wanted to use the word lambast in a sentance. I don't know if I used it correctly though. Or contrapuntal. This pizza is contrapuntal.

Ok right. So now that you are shaking your head at my pitiful attempt at humor, I might go to sleep. Or stay up taking OkCupid tests.

ironic

So, several days ago, I took two Okcupid tests. The Sesame Street personality test. And the What kind of weapon are you test. So I found out that I am both Big Bird, and an HK-91 rifle.

You are very organized, more abstract, and more extroverted.

Here is why are you Big Bird. You are both very organized. You almost always know where your belongings are and you prefer things neat. You may even enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic. Big Bird is never sloppy and always under control... pretty good for a 6 year old bird living without a family.

You both are abstract thinkers. Big Bird is a dreamer who always wonders what the world is like. You definitely are not afraid to take chances in life. You only live once. You may notice others around you playing it safe, but you are more concerned with not compromising your desires, and getting everything you can out of life. This is a very romantic approach to life, but hopefully you are also grounded enough to get by.

You are both extroverts. Big Bird gets along with everyone. He makes friends easily and always has a positive attitude. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team.

AND

Of German Design, Heckler and Koch puts out some of the worlds best weapons ever made. You have been battle tested and proven many times over by several european nations. Your also very complicated to fully disassemble and are very finicky about what type of ammo you will use. using the wrong ammo can make you a very dangerous person, so make sure you get your facts right before launching an attack.


So, two complete opposites all inside my personality. Thought that was kind of interesting.

update on my day

CyViR: heyas, howdid your day go?
arwenundomiel9: it was: get up, run to the post office, pick up a class schedule for next semester run to the lab, print homework, run to work, run to class, run to the bank, run to the other post office, meet with mike from chi alpha, run back to my apartment, act like a vegetable for a little bit, eat dinner, run over to livingston for rehearsal, avoid the creepy guy from class last year who invades personal space and smells like BO only when he opens his mouth which is all the time, run back from rehearsal and do a paper that is now due in 7 hours.

I also have a project due Thursday for theater makeup- the topic this week is injuries. This is evidence of hicksville.

arwenundomiel9: i have to have pictures of similar injuries too... so i'm thinking of using a picture of my brother's back after he and a friend played blow-for-blow
arwenundomiel9: but thats only one injury
CyViR: hrm.....
CyViR: what is blow for blow?
CyViR: dare i ask?
arwenundomiel9: i hit you, you hit me. common courtesy is equal strength blows.
arwenundomiel9: but its not a fight its... i will let you hit me, you will let me hit you.
CyViR: ......
arwenundomiel9: its a totally stupid game
arwenundomiel9: idiotic
CyViR: sounds captivating
CyViR: i real time waster
arwenundomiel9: but its west milford and there's nothing better to do
CyViR: sigh, your brother needs to take up board games or something
arwenundomiel9: haha... his latest project is exploding arrowheads

another shameless ad

Ok... everyone does this. But you are cordially invited to come see LTC's next show, Working, at which I am the stage manager. Working is a musical whose basic theme is to give a voice to the working man. Its about people with careers, hardships, and accomplishments. Opening night is Nov. 17 (Thursday) at 8 pm. There will be a show Nov 18 at 8 pm, Nov 19 at 2 pm and 8 pm, and Nov 20 at 4 pm. LTC is constructing the set a little bit differently this time around, so there will be slightly less seats than normal, and the cast is slightly larger than normal, which means that seating is limited and tickets are already being reserved, so I'd suggest you plan and get your tickets while you can. Let me know what day you'll be there, and I'll come out and say hi after the show.

what christians do to amuse themselves

I hung out with some old and dear friends from home tonight. It was a good time, despite feeling like we've changed and/or grown apart a bit. I had to share this little clip of what happened:

Guy on a Christian TV station: And if you just call the number on your screen, you can sow a financial seed in preparation for the blessings God has in store for you. We have a testimony of a man who chose to sow a $58 seed for each member of his family, for 12 months, believing that God has great blessings in store for each of them. So we encourage you to just call up the number on your screen.

So, my friend decided to call up the number just for kicks. I didn't hear the first part of the convo but then he put it on speakerphone.

Girl: So, we greatly encourage what you are about to do because God has promised to richly bless you.
Adam: Well umm how does this work, how do I give to God?
Girl: Well, we take checks over the phone or credit card-
Adam: But umm what do I do if like, I can't pay my rent, will I still have to pay the $58?
Girl: No, you would then call customer service and have them cancel it for the months that you can't afford to sow the financial seed. Would you like to give to God tonight?
Adam: I would love to give to God, I want to be blessed.
Girl: Well we want you to be blessed too. Can I have a zip code please?
Adam: Well, isn't there a book involved?
Girl: Yes, when you sow a financial seed, there is a book included as a way of showing our appreciation and asking God to bless you.
Adam: Well, good, I'd like God to bless me, I just don't know, 'cause of, you know, the rent, I don't know if I can do it every month.
Girl: Well if you would like, I can give you the mailing address here and you can sow your gift whenever you have the money. Would you like to do that?
Adam: Well, I don't know, I mean, is that easier?
Girl: Sometimes its better for people who are concerned about sowing that regular financial seed of $58 a month.
Adam: But I mean, if I can't pay then how do I cancel it if its in cash like that? I don't know. I don't know if I can pay the rent.
Girl: Well, sir I don't think I can make your decisions for you, but we certainly don't want to ask you to risk your house. You do what you feel God telling you to do.
Adam: Yeah, but I really want to sow my seed. This was a hang-out time for college age kids, and we all made eye contact at this. I will leave you to your own imagination about how capable we were of stifling any reaction from this comment so she wouldn't know she was on speakerphone.
Girl: We would love for you to sow your seed too, because this isn't about us, its about you reaping the blessing from God after feeling release and sowing your seed.
Adam: Can I talk to him on TV?
Girl: Well, I can't promise anything, but I can give you the number to call, and you can talk to him or someone in his office. I'm sure they can also help you in your decision. But tonight (here, she had obviously decided he was too concerned about money and that she wasn't getting any, so she decided to wind up the convo.) why don't you just pray about it and make a decision later when you feel ready?
Adam: Ok, thank you so much.
Girl: Goodnight

When he hung up, he told us about how on another of the Christian channels he (the pastor's son) and two friends (youth counsellors in the church) decided to call one day and "get saved." *sigh* In that sense they haven't changed. I miss them and wish I could hang out with them more. But... there are subtle differences. What's that saying about new friends and old... one is silver, the other gold. Something like that, I don't really remember. I guess what I'm trying to say is. I like silver better but I'm allergic to it, and gold is more valuable. Wait. That's not what I was trying to say. I don't know who's silver and who's gold. But either way, its not the same silver and gold that it was a year or two ago. I think I interact differently with people now. Well anyway. I'm tired and not making much sense, so I'm gonna save the speculation for another day. Night.

Extra Extra!

I found this in the Home News Tribune.

"This Thursday morning, around 10 am according to the police report, a group of 4 psychological terrorists entered the mental ward of St. Peter's University Hospital. Together, they conducted experiments on the patients, during which they showed the patients images of several Rutgers College students. The patients became so overcome with the beauty of one of the photos in particular. This girl will only be called Meghan, to protect her safety. Upon seeing the picture, the patients attacked and killed the terrorists, who were intending to use the mental patients to take over the rest of the hospital. They then attacked the nurses and doctors, and forced their way out of the building with one thing on their mind: to situate themselves in such a way that their pathway would cross with Meghan's. Police have attempted to contain the situation, but three subjects are still at large."

So yeah. I came across those three today while walking to jujitsu. I will use my theater degree to write a short script of the incidents. Unspoken lines will be in parentheses.

First guy: Hey babe, you got a cigarette?
Me: (Do I LOOK like a smoker?!)
Meghan keeps walking, making no eye contact or acknowledgement of having heard.
Guy: Ok then. Guess not.

Next scene, literally 5 minutes later.

Second Guy: Hey baby do you have two dollars?
Me: (I'm so not in the mood to be hit on right now) No, and I'm late; I have to go.
SG: Awww, one dollar?
Me: I'm a college student, you expect me to have money? (As if I would carry it around in Downtown New Brunswick anyway.)
SG: How 'bout a kiss?
Me: (eww.) (If he tries anything, like that guy did with Anissa... I'm not in the mood to settle for just a sternum rub.) No.
Meghan looks impatiently for the walk signal to change.
SG: No? Come on...
No response.
SG: Aww come on, just one? No? Pause. Okaaaaayyy. Just remember baby. I'll always love you. Always.
Me: You do that. (Oh thank God! The light turned.)

Next scene, two minutes later.

Meghan is walking down the street. There is a guy carrying a bag and dressed down. Very down. Like, paint all over dirty clothes kind of down.
Third Guy, in a really good imitation of a police voice: Hey you!! Yeah. You. The guy running!
Meghan looks, there is nobody running.
Me: (What? Why do all the crazy people come out now? Why can't I just get to jujitsu?)
TG: Hey! I'm telling you to stop! I got my eye on you! Yeah, I'm talking to you!
No one is paying any attention. Meghan walks faster.

So, there you go. I hope you liked my script. I'm sorry I had to play the lead though. I would have been happier being an extra. Or perhaps a prop. No, the only prop used was that bag in the arms of the third guy. I think I'd freak out if I were in his arms. *shudders.* Its not good when jujitsuka freak out.

Long...

So... modern dance today. I'm going to write something good, because this was the first class where I truly enjoyed myself. For the other classes, I'll admit, I haven't been bored. But today it really felt like play rather than work. We were each supposed to find a partner, and my partner was Tomm, a guy I had basic acting class with at the end of sophomore year. What we were supposed to do is- one person moves into a shape. Any shape- more like a pose I guess. And then the other person moves into a complementary shape. So you could move into a mirror image of the partner, or if his hand is out you could move into an opposing image, etc. I'm not exactly sure what I liked about it, but for some reason, I did. It felt like human sculpture, I guess. Anyway, then each group of two joined another, so we had 4. It was neat to work with so many other people. And then we did this thing where you strike a pose, and only come out of it when someone else comes to join you. Then you go and find someone else to strike a pose by. That was when one of the guys likened it to speed dating, and someone said, "what if no one comes to join you?" and Paulette said, "Well, that's something we all deal with in life so we'll see how it feels." And then this girl said, "I haven't been on a date in two WHOLE weeks." And when the snickers and strange glances subsided, Paulette made us get back to work. And that was cool too because you never knew who was going to come along to be your sculpture partner.

I came back and made tuna salad. I followed Anissa's lead and got my frozen, chopped habañero peppers from the freezer and put little tiny pieces in with the other spices. Those peppers are so hot, that when I took it out of the freezer, as soon as I got a whiff of it, my eyes dried up, and my lips started to tingle. But in the tuna salad, mixed with the mayo, they aren't so bad because capsaicin is oil-soluble. But apparently it got on my hands and an hour later I rubbed my eyes and that was a mistake. My eye started to burn like crazy and I wished we were near a chem lab so I could wash it out at the eye station. Instead I went to the bathroom and soaped up my hands with hot water. My eye eventually washed itself out with tears but that was an odd experience. I'll have to be careful with the peppers in the future.

Anyway, I'm not entirely in the greatest of moods. I found out that I can't go to jujitsu on Sunday, which is depressing because I've missed a lot of classes. At the rate I'm going, I'll reach the next rank by the time I'm 30. Ok that's an exaggeration.

Also I'm cold. And cold makes me grumpy. And my knees and ankles don't like cold too much. And my stomach's been grumbling at me for the past couple days. Maybe tofu stomachs are contagious.

On the good side, I'm glad my midterm is over with the really hard class with the really bad teacher. I don't think I did too horribly. Anyway, I guess I'm done complaining. Well, no I'm not, but I'll keep the last one to myself. Thanks for listening. I had to get all that off my chest. I'm not quite as stressed now. K bye.

hehe

"Takeru Kobayashi
Sport: Competitive Eating

Career Highlights: The five-time winner of the Nathan's Famous frankfurter eating contest held each Fourth of July at Coney Island in Brooklyn, New York. In 2004, he broke a contest record, eating 59 hot dogs in 12 minutes. In 2002, he won Fox's Glutton Bowl 1, and in 2003, he just barely lost to a Kodiak bear in a hot dog eating contest on Fox's Man vs. Beast program.

So, why are his opponents scared of him? Have you seen this guy?! Only 131 pounds, Kobayashi is an eating machine. The legend of the sport (and yes, this is a sport!) uses the innovative 'Solomon Method' technique when digesting his dogs. A master of the eating style, Koboyashi breaks each hot dog in two, then stuffs both halves in his mouth at once. NFL great William 'Refrigerator' Perry tried taking a stab at Koboyashi in 2003 but failed miserably. The 1985 Super Bowl star ate four hot dogs in the competition; Kobayashi had 44 1/2."

Fascinating. I know some people like that.

forgot

I forgot to say some stuff. But first, as I type this, Molly is asleep in my lap. And her whiskers are singed. So they are curly now haha.

Ok next order of business. I'm taking a theatrical makeup class. Next week's project is "transgender." I could either paint myself to look like a man, or paint one of my guy friends to look like a woman. Any guys out there want to get in touch with their feminine sides?

Next: I'm learning who I am through OkCupid. I've been delinquent in dutifully informing you all of my scores in the past couple of weeks, so here's a little just to catch you up. In the "what punctuation mark are you" test, I am a hyphen. Quotation marks intimidate me. I am also an "eternal virgin" and, the verdict's out- I am most positively not going to die while having sex (yes, they have a test for that, in case someone was worrying their heart out over it). And in a religion test, I scored higher than 94% of other girls my age on the variable "freaknut." Makes me feel good about myself there. I'm a freaknut. My personality is closest to Michelangelo (out of the four Ninja Turtles).

Ok. Useless information. Great! Kangaroo! Goodnight.

today in meghanland

Ok so... I can't do arm circles because whatever limited stuff I did at the jujitsu seminar made me sore. And I went to dance class today. Wow. So the teacher came in and looked around to make sure the floor was clear. She said, "Oh, there's a plastic bag on the floor like someone left a baby there." I'm thinking, "Ok, the stork story, baby in a bag sort of thing, how cute." People were looking at her funny so she explained herself. "You know, like when you're in the parking lot and you go to pick up a plastic bag and find that someone abandoned a baby there." Yeah, Paulette. It happens to me all the time. Those plastic bag babies are really getting to be a nuisance. People were still looking at her funny (wouldn't you?) and so she had to clarify. "I've never found one, I was just saying... cause I've read about it. I don't know from personal experience."

Who says that? WHY on earth would that be the first thing she thinks of as being inside a plastic bag? When you see a plastic bag in a dance studio, don't you think, "Maybe someone's dance shoes are in there" or a water bottle, or a leotard or something. But a BABY?

Anyway. I think I'm gonna die now. Or rip my muscles off. Physics and anatomy aside, moving would be so much easier without them.

Oh one more thing before I go shower. I feel really bad. Mel was cooking, and Molly jumped up on the stove and burned her paw. I feel really bad for her. I've never seen a cat move faster. We pinned her down and put ice on it, but she didn't like that. Technically, you should never put ice on a burn, always cold, still water. But I think Molly would have liked the water less. Now she sits and licks her paw all the time.

Ok, now I'm going to bring some acorn squash over to Anissa's and have a feast. But first I gotta shower. Bye all!

crazy weekend

Ok so... In addition to being a Mason Gross School of the Arts theater slave this weekend by working the patchpanel and dimmer switches backstage, I also am participating when I can in the bi-annual jujitsu conference at Rutgers. So my planned schedule for Friday looked like this: 10:30 bike over to College Ave to help set up mats. 12:00 bike back to Douglass, be at class by 12:30. 2:00 leave class, bike to College Ave by 2:30 in time to see Andrew/ give well-wishes to him before his black belt exam. Do jujitsu at the conference until 5:30. Bike back to Douglass, be at the Jameson Theater by 6. Prep for the show. Show starts at 8. With clean-up, get out by 11.

That was planned. What actually happened: 10:45 call Anissa to say I might be late. get there a little after 11, help with mats. A little before 12, run to the student center to get food, leave it with Anissa, for later. Bike back to Douglass for class. Outside the Wachovia, pop a tire. Lock bike up to a signpost, go into Wachovia and deposit checks. Call a classmate to tell the teacher I'll be late. 12:55, walk into class 20 minutes late and wet from the rain. 2:00 bike over to Anissa's to get the lunch I left with her. Sit and stare in a daze, and wonder why its so cold and rainy today. Debate going to jujitsu. I miss it. But with the start I got on the day, there's no telling what kind of weird injury I'll end up with. 2:55 watch Anissa catch Steve's contagious panic over not having cups for the water buckets at jujitsu. 3:00 leave with Anissa for the nearest store. Begin praying together for Andrew's test, and other things. (I really liked that part of the day.) 3:30 drop off the cups. Answer Sensei about why I'm not staying. And why Anissa's in the car waiting for me. (yeah, Anissa and me... the delinquent jujitsuka) 3:40- 4:10 get lost in New Brunswick. We've only lived here for how long? 4:15- 5:50 debate with Cyrus (also delinquent from jujitsu because of a tofu stomach) about going to jujitsu later, and whether or not we should do something special in honor of Andrew's big day. 6:00 get to the theater to prep for the show. 8:10 the show begins. 10:02 the show ends. 8 minutes early because the actors kept skipping lines. 10:20 leave cleanup early because on weekends we don't have to put the set pieces away in the closets so essentially we were all set for the next performance. Run back to the apartment to drop stuff off. Get picked up by Anissa, go to Andrew's, go to Omega for blueberry blintzes that tasted like chicken grease. Argue about paying since he can't just let people treat him to things which I'm going to find a way to cure him of. Go back to Busch, decide by a flip of a coin to stay overnight with Cara, Andrew, James, Eugene who I just met.

That brings us to today. The planned schedule was similar but irrelevant since as I have just proven, plans were invented so circomstances can say "screw you." Since anytime after midnight is today, the coin toss was technically today too. So we went inside and I argued with Andrew about where I was going to sleep... skip a few details here cause... just cause. I acted like a skootch and I feel bad about it. Get up, run to jujitsu, take a class on games for kids, in which we roll around on balls (picture a somersault sort of roll but hugging a giant ball instead of your knees), dive onto balls, roll from standing, catching plastic footballs, etc... It was a fun way to practice the skills needed in jujitsu. After that I went downstairs for a class in Iaido, which... if you saw The Last Samurai, the scene where Tom Cruise and some Japanese guys are sparring with wooden swords (bokken/bokuto), dressed in navy blue robes. That's Iaido. Well, to be more specific:

"The art of drawing a sword out of its scabbard, as fast and clean as possible, with evident naturalness and fluidity, being the main objective to cut the enemy long before he is able to draw his own sword or use any other type of weapon. The great masters of this art have gotten to be able to draw the sword and sheathe it back again with the speed of a lightning. Iaido is a sister art to Kendo, and is recommended when having certain experience in the latter."

So Tom Cruise was probably misrepresenting Kendo, which INVOLVES some form of Iaido. 'Cause you can't very well practice Kendo while the sword is still in the sheath. But anyway, now that I've taken this class, I am better prepared should I ever have to defend myself from someone swinging a sword at me. Provided they haven't drawn yet. Or if they have, provided they only attack with a swing over their heads. And somehow, even with a smooth, well sanded wooden sword, I managed to cut my knuckles of all things. It would be about the equivalent of a basketball player saying he got a cut from his basketball. Its a smooth object with no sharp edges. How do you do that?

So, anyway, I left for the theater about 12, got in at 12:30 and the stage crew are all freaking out because someone moved all our set pieces, and had a scene set for Streetcar Named Desire, which we are not doing. We rush to put everything back, the show starts etc. Show ends, and I have to hang around for "45 minutes" to help with a photo shoot. Which ends up being an hour and fifteen. 5:15, I am just about to turn the dimmers off when a wire pulls loose from one of the pins. To which the lighting designer cursed the building and the day it was built, the wire, the patch panel, the Jameson project in general, and anything else she could think of to curse. at 7:40, the soldering iron still won't solder the wire back in place, because the solder she has is for copper wires which, you guessed it, this particular patch panel does not use copper wiring. So its raining. The show starts in 20 minutes, and the audience wants to be allowed into the theater. And we still don't have the stage lights plugged in yet because if we do, Laura will get electrocuted. Finally we plug two lights into one patch on the panel, and kept checking the warning lights to see if we're exceeding the voltage. By this time, I'm exhausted, and emotional because of 1) last night 2) conversations with God 3) lack of sleep for the past week. So for the first 3 scenes of the play, I sat alone in the dark patch room with my headset, getting all my cues, but crying to God. Something cool happened. I thought of Aslan, and the scene where he comes up, and bends his head over Shasta, licks his forehead like a big cat and says "Tell me your troubles." And it was so comforting. So, the show ended and I came home and scrubbed the kitchen floor Cinderella-style cause I just don't think swiffer's gonna do the job this week. It was disgusting. Four buckets of black water.

And then I took a shower and ate ice cream. And now I have to go to bed, because, yes. There's jujitsu in the morning, and a show in the afternoon and then more jujitsu in the evening, and Andrew leaves for England. I'm so jealous. I want to go to England. I miss it.

But in summary, the highlight of Friday was praying with Anissa for all our friends. And the highlight today was playing with swords, specifically blocking Cyrus' attack, and turning the blade inward (so if it had been real, it would have cut him), disarming him, and then having him demonstrate with his fingers what his guts would look like as they are falling out. With a big grin on his face. As if he's happy his imaginary guts are falling out.

On that note, good night, and sweet dreams.

letting the leash out a little

I normally keep my mind occupied because I know sometimes it can be dangerous letting it run loose. Tonight I'm going all over the place... though I do have a leash. Its going to be the first blog entry in a while that really goes deep inside me.

Someone suggested to me that I'm not over him yet. Which I disagree with. But she's entitled to her opinion. I just don't think that she is basing her opinion on fact, because, she doesn't have all the facts, because I have some inside me that no one knows about.

I've never known a greater pain than when we broke up. I was suddenly empty, like having my arm cut off. We'd been together so long that I couldn't remember a time when he wasn't there. But when arms are cut off, there's usually a reason, such as infection beyond repair. I know there is a reason we were together, and a reason we're not now. And the only pain I have is in my memories. There's no more pain in my heart. Only fear of more pain, which is why I'm trying to protect myself. So in that sense, no. I'm over the pain of losing him, but not the fear of losing him. Or someone like him.

I've said all that before I think, right here in my blog. And I've mentioned Momiji, the character from FruitsBasket, whose mother had her memories erased, and who said that even his bad memories were worth keeping because they influenced his life. Of all possible outcomes that I could have relating to him, the one thing I don't want is for me to waste all the knowledge I gained by dating him. And I realized that tonight. And that made me realize that right now, as is, I'm wasting some of the knowledge. And so, there are things I have to do and people I have to talk to, because not doing that is like erasing my memory of it ever happening. And I can't do that because its like the country song where the girl keeps a box of memories of all the guys she's dated not because she isn't satisfied with the current guy but because they each helped shape her into who she is today and she has to remember all the trials and triumphs and mistakes involved in getting her to where she is.

So, I'm sorry we don't talk anymore because you(1) helped me get to where I am, and we learned together and I hope you got something out of it too. And I won't try to erase your(1) memory. And, after your(2) test tomorrow, we should talk. Its nothing you(2) would consider bad. But I don't want to waste this knowledge I've been given. It elimitates the pain and joy I went through to get it, and it deprives you(2) of something special too. So... lets talk sometime. I think we'll be glad we did.

Sigh, on a new topic, when you're feeling a little down, there's nothing like a kitten to come and chew on your shirt and cheer you up.

thoughts to ponder

Have you ever wondered why animals have tails? I mean, humans don't have tails, so its not like tails are completely necessary to survival on earth. But now that my roommate has a cat, I've discovered the reason God played pin the tail on the donkey with his critters. Did you ever find yourself sitting on the windowsill watching the birds and cars pass by, wishing you could stalk them? And then suddenly, you just have this urge. "I want to stalk something. Anything. And this window on the second floor is keeping me from all those pigeons on the roof next door. Ooooh I wish I could grab one of those pigeons and gnaw on its head." But there are no pigeons you can reach. And there are no bottle caps, tin foil balls, paperclips, strings, ribbons, phone wires, curtains, hair, or feet that you can attack either. But lookie there, God gave you a tail. A built in playtoy! GREAT!

I think the reason God kept the tails off the humans is so we wouldn't chase our tails and would be forced to make our own enjoyment. So we made computers. Go figure.

plug

Ok so I have to advertise. I'm working on a show called The Shape of Things, and everyone should come see it at the Jameson theater. There is a free preview on Tuesday night at 8 pm. Shows are Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday at 8 pm, Saturday and Sunday at 2 pm. Tickets are discounted for students but I can't remember by how much. But for general admission, its no more than $10. The show is good, I liked it when I saw the runthrough, and Jameson always has some pretty good shows. But if you go, you won't see me till afterwards cause I'll be in the back dungeon electrocuting myself. Or patching electricity through to the lights. And the cool thing is I get to wear a headset. Yay! To get there, drive towards Douglass on George Street. Make a right onto Jones (by the Jameson dorms.) Find a parking spot wherever you can. The theater is in the basement of the end dorm (Jameson D) Ask me if you need more detailed directions.

quickie

Ok so i haven't really given an update on what's going on lately. Most of its been stupid stuff like okcupid. I'm the stage manager for a musical called Working, at the Livingston theater company. I've been keeping busy. And for a theater class, I have to be on the crew for a Mason Gross show. So I'm doing two shows at once and I think I'm insane. The MG show i get to have a headset and basically patch the electricity in to the lights when they need it so we don't blow a fuse. Its fun. But I sit in a little room for the whole show basically. So I have a lot of time to do homework. We had 11 hours of rehearsal today. Another 11 tomorrow. And a fire extinguisher fell on my ankle yesterday. And I bought fitted sheets at Walmart instead of flat. Silly me. Now I have to return them. And Brittany's bike, which I am borrowing, stopped holding its gears. Now when you bike, you can jump from 2nd to 5th without intending to. Andrew says its easy to fix. And that's pretty much an update on my life. You can see why I don't update very often and have to supplement it with OKStupid. Its late. Good night.

Scared

Like... halloween scared. Okcupid again... I know, I should probably get therapy for this. But I noticed that a ton of people on Okcupid were taking a test called "Are you ready for children?" I thought "Of course I'm not ready for children" and went on to another one. But it kept popping up so finally I decided to see why everyone was taking it. It asked me really important questions, like do I own a house, have a steady income, know how to change a diaper, etc. Most of which I answered in such a way that might suggest to me, I'm not ready. But, end result... "Probably Ready" I scored 65%, which in school terms isn't good, but still passes. " Wow, you could actually be pregnant. You might have some things left to learn, but I'm sure you'll do fine!" whoever made that test would make a great horror filmmaker. I'm all ready for halloween cause I've got my are you ready for children test right here in my goodybag. Whoever made that test is insane. I just had to rant. I'm gonna go now. Bye