the latest scoop

Ok first of all, I feel like I'm never going to get warm again in my life. I've decided I'm moving to Ecuador. Or at least, Death Valley. I need to keep warm. I'm one of the few people each year who eats Christmas cookies guiltlessly because I'm trying to add an extra layer of fat just to keep warm. I feel like I'm part squirrel or something. If it gets too cold I may have to hibernate.

What I wanted to write was the latest theological revelation from my pastor at the Christmas Eve service: "This summer, Susan and I went to Alaska for our anniversary. We learned a lot about reindeer. We learned that both male and female reindeer have antlers. The males drop their antlers in early fall, when they mate with the females. The females spend the winter pregnant, with a full rack. So, just to throw a little glitch in your common (mis)conception of Christmas... Dasher and Dancer all the way down the line to Rudolph either were all females, or the illustrations of the antlers are wrong. I mean, that's gotta be a tribute to feminity right there, that those girls can drag a fat man in a velvet suit all the way around the world in one night and not get lost." My pastor is the coolest. Now that I think about it though, what male reindeer would have a name like Vixen or Cupid? At least some of the reindeer must be female. Rudolph, I admit, is most certainly a male name. But Rudy... that could go either way.

Anyway, obviously my pastor talked about more than just reindeer tonight, but I think I'll save that for another time. Not everybody who reads this celebrates Christmas. I was so happy tonight. All the people I care most about... at least a lot of them... are in town. Adam's back from British Columbia, Greg and his new wife from Kentucky, Steve from one of the Carolina states... wish I could remember where. Rick from Philly, Eric from York PA, Cathe from her 50 bazillion jobs. Growing up with these people draws you close, but then they go elsewhere and you feel stretched out like silly putty that can only go so far. If for no other reason, Christmas should be celebrated so we can put our silly putty back in order.

Well, its after midnight, so officially its Christmas. I have some wrapping to do... I just bought some gifts today. Nothing like a last minute shopping spree. And I still have nothing tangible for my mom. That's not good. She doesn't want much though. She told me to print out my transcript and give it to her. We'll see. Gotta go. Merry Christmas to all you who celebrate it, and if you don't, then have a Merry Saturday!