YEAH... isn't this lovely?

Ok so for various reasons which will become obvious later on... or now if you prefer... I can't go into details about this because I'm spitting mad at people who might stumble across this.

Some people I know need to grow up. You're acting like high schoolers and I KNOW you've been out of school for years. Drop the stupid cliques and the in-crowd. You don't need that in the real world of life. You have to accept the fact that you have to live on the same planet with people you don't particularly like to deal with. Well, you know what? DEAL WITH IT. The people you remember them being are not the same people. We all change, why can't you realize that and let them change without hanging the past over their heads like a bad nightmare? Why can't you realize that people improve with age, like cheese, wine, and savings bonds? THEY MATURE. Duh. It's a fact of life. Will you ever let them mature without EXPECTING them to act in the same way they have been acting?

And now that I've done all that in defense of my outcast friends... here's a little rant for myself. It'd be nice if some people would just be polite and say you aren't interested, rather than smile and say that sounds nice. Really, "that sounds nice" and "that doesn't sound nice" mean the exact opposite. Just in case you didn't know that. I don't know what it is that drives me to maintain friendship, keep forgiving and forgetting, and continue to love certain people as much as I do despite the pain they cause.

I refuse to attach to a clique, but hanging in between four of them is wearing me thin. You are all hurting each other, can't you see that? And because I'm not in any one clique, you are all hurting me.

I've had some strenuous exercise today. I think my exhaustion is touching a little too hard on my emotions right now. If you've read this far, thank you for caring... perhaps you can spread that care to some people who need to take this to heart.

Just a small postscript... I think Disney captures my feelings quite well right now:

I don't know if You can hear me or if You're even there. I don't know if You would listen to a gypsie's prayer. Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to you. still I see Your face and wonder were You once an outcast too?

God help the outcasts hungry from birth. show them the mercy they don't find on earth. God help my people we look to You still. God help the outcasts or nobody will

I ask for nothing. I can get by but I know so many less lucky than I. please help my people the poor and downtrod. I thought we all were the children of God.