Random bits of nothing

Ivan suggested I do this every once in a while... so here it is. The theory on why global-warming is nothing more than a scare:

There are places on earth where exposing bare skin to the open air for even a fraction of a second will lead to frostbite. However, even in the hottest locations on earth, excluding volcanoes, there is no place where exposing bare skin to open air will lead to an instant burn, sunburn, heatstroke, etc. Therefore, the cold temperatures are more extreme than the hot temperatures, assuming that extreme can be defined in an egocentric way and that the limitations of the human body define "extreme." If the cold temperatures are more extreme then they affect the overall temperature of the earth by absorbing the heat. Therefore, the earth is not as hot as it could be. And global warming is not yet a threat. Because the earth is relatively cold. And I'm cold a lot, especially in the winter. And its all about me. Egocentric.

Having proven that the earth is cold, one can deduce that camels are physically incapable of eating strawberry poptarts. Shall I continue? Ok, so the earth is cold. Therefore its not hot. Therefore there is not enough natural heat to toast a poptart, since of course camels cannot use a toaster because they do not have fingers. And of course, you can't eat a poptart without toasting it. That would be ludicrous. So camels can't eat them. Test my theory. Have you ever seen a camel eat a toasted poptart?

Ok right... so this is totally just sad. I am avoiding reading Tartuffe, by Moliere, for Theater History. I have to go find other senseless things to do. Because I'm just not going to make it as a scientist.