A story...

Soooo. Several of you know the story of our cats. But not all. So here goes. When our indoor-outdoor cat, Fluffy, died a few years ago, my parents decided no more pets. They wanted to be free to travel without hiring a neighbor kid to take care of them.

That worked for a while, until mom began to feel the effects of the empty nest as my brother and I got older. I went to college and she rescued an abused guinea pig. My brother went to college and she started feeding some wild cats. Eventually, my parents made the decision to have all the cats fixed in order to prevent mom from becoming the Cat Lady with 56 cats. The first one they caught had feline HIV, so he had to be put down. Another died on the busy street outside my house. The next one, Slinky, came away disease-free, and also future-generation-free. Finally came Sister. The vet said "I can't operate yet, she's pregnant." So mom found an animal hospital that was willing to do cat abortions. She got there and the vet's assistant said, "I volunteer at the animal shelter and we have a waiting list for kittens so I'd like to take care of Sister until the babies are weaned." She talked mom into it and as a result, Sister, a wild cat, spent the entire summer in a dog cage. She had room, but she was used to having acres to run around in. So in my opinion they tortured her, when they really should have just gone ahead with the abortion. But they are all cat freaks over there, so its totally unthinkable that you kill kittens. Funny how no one bats an eye anymore when you say that about a human abortion.

But, one day mom got a phone call saying "Congratulations, you're a grandma!" A few more weeks went by and the kittens were weaned, and Sister cried for them all night. A few days later (this morning), Sister received her little hysterectomy, and mom took the kittens. Amazingly, there was a huge waiting list for kittens two months ago, but for some reason now that they are born, no one wants them. Fancy that. So mom went to see Sister under the effects of anesthesia, and picked up the kittens and brought them home, "until they can be put in good homes." My parents don't know it yet, but we are keeping at least one of them. We already need someone to come over and feed Slinky and Sister when we go away, so if there are two, why not another?

Anyhoo... We need some naming suggestions:


When I walked in the kitchen and picked this one up, he took a flying leap out of my arms from 5 feet up. He also climbs on things, and in general, is a daredevil. He has huge ears, and when he is tired, plops himself down on the floor wherever he darn well pleases. Some suggested names for him have been: Yoda, Jack, Evel Knieval, Evil, Lyle (from the movie Italian Job- Lyle's nickname was Evel Knieval).



This one is friendly. She is quite comfortable around people, and likes to play with gusto. She has huge feet and also has markings that are unique from her siblings' markings (the stripes go along the body instead of down the sides). At the moment she has a little digestive problem. Some suggested names for her have been Spez (a cross between Spaz and Sped), Snowshoes, Stinky, Tiger, or some version of the word Ocelot. However, Ocelot will be voted down unless a unique version of it can be found because there is already a cat in the family named Elsie Ocelot.



The third one looks a lot like the male in the litter, except a darker shade. She can be friendly, shy, playful, or adventurous, depending on her mood. She's a lot like me actually. She hit all those moods in the space of an hour. Some suggested names have been Minnie, Baby, Runt, Marty, Shadow, and Little. As in, "Hey what's your cat's name?" "It's Little." "I can see that but what's her name?" "She's Little." "I hate you."

Lastly, there have been two suggestions for group names; in the order of the pictures they are: Yacko, Wacko, and Dot
Linus, Lucy, and Peppermint Patty.

Please vote on your favorite names!!

Notice!

For those of you who don't like Myspace, I have a few pictures on Flickr. You can see both Cape Cod and Michigan albums, and even view it in a slide show. Isn't that nifty?

For those of you who have a Myspace, check out my Michigan pictures there.

Random Interesting Fact

The origins of the phrase, "to the bitter end"

Taken from this book.

"Despite appearances, the phrase has nothing to do with bitterness. 'Bitter end' is a mid-nineteenth-century nautical term for the end of a rope or chain secured in a vessel's chain locker, or 'abaft the bitts'. When there is no windlass the cables are fastened to bitts, that is, pairs of bollards fixed to the deck, and when the rope is let out until no more remains, the end is at the bitts - hence the bitter end."

This still doesn't mean much to me, until you look up the other terms.

abaft: the nautical way of saying "behind"

bitt: a frame of two strong timbers fixed perpendicularly in the fore part of a ship, on which to fasten the cables as the ship rides at anchor... other bitts are used for belaying, sustaining the windlass etc...

bollards: the nautical way of saying "a post." Those things that stick up out of a dock or ship's deck that you wrap rope around.

windlass: an alternative to a capstan, that has the same purpose (hoisting up a heavy object like sails or an anchor).

capstan: In Pirates of the Caribbean 1 the first time Elizabeth Swan sees the pirates' true forms, she runs out onto the deck and gets spun around as the skeleton pirates are doing their chores. That spinny thing.

Yep... still means nothing to me. Guess that's why its a random interesting fact.

Random thoughts

I need to think random thoughts to make myself forget that my body is perpetually trying to sneeze, but never actually following through with it. Allergies are awful. I have not seen the sun since Saturday, which means everything is starting to mold which means in addition to being depressed from lack of Vitamin D, I also have to deal with allergies. So to cheer myself up, here are my random thoughts:

I changed the 45 watt bulb in my room to a 100 watt bulb and that helped a little.

I want a fingerprint scanner on my computer. That would be cool.

My brother's friends all graduated from high school this year, so he has been attending lots of going away parties as people disappear off to various colleges. Today he helped a friend move into her dorm. They discovered that apparently, Lions, Tigers, and Bears oh my were all taken as mascots, and Rutgers took the last cool mascots (the Knights and the Raptors) so her school got the Ducks. Not the Mighty Ducks, just the Ducks. And its Stevens Institute of Technology, so they are the SITting Ducks. The debate is on about whether its Stevens Hoboken Institute of Technology, or just Stevens Institute of Technology.

I want a chinchilla.

We have a central vacuum cleaner which means that the cannister is in the basement and you plug the hose into the wall. The problem with that is you forget to clean out the cannister every once in a while, just like you have to change a bag on a regular vacuum. I couldn't figure out why the vacuum wasn't working as well as it should and went down to check it out. It turns out it hadn't been cleaned out in at least 400 years, and when I pulled the cannister out, it was (not kidding) at least 15 pounds. FIFTEEN POUNDS of vacuumed up dust! Can you imagine that?? That's like an eighth of my weight. Put it all together and let God breathe life into it and you have a large cat.

Thats all for the random thoughts of the day.

EDIT: One additional random thought. Hershey's kisses with broken tops are no fun. They have to have a perfect point to bring full, lasting enjoyment.

Wow

I spent the day doing nothing and having no energy because this third day of rain is really depressing and I haven't seen the sun since Saturday. Finally, I forced myself to finalize a time to meet Anissa, get rid of the stuff I had set aside to give her, change a lightbulb that has been needing changing for three weeks now, and organize my bookshelf so there are no longer piles of books all over my floor. I stirred up a lot of dust, so I was grateful to get out of the house and meet Anissa for dinner.

We went to a place called Temptations, and had one of the most amazing meals in a very wonderful, eclectic atmosphere. Our waitress, as well as the other two employees there, were very personable, and the only other customers around were three college/postcollege students, who chatted with her about college and grad school. They all started talking about their favorite music, and as time progressed, the atmosphere became more and more like a dinner party with friends. Then, because it was a slow night, the waiter there turned up the Disney music, grabbed our waitress and started dancing with her around the room, singing Part of Your World in a high pitched Ariel voice.

From there, they began taking requests for any Disney song imaginable, and the two girls at the other table began singing along word for word. Anissa and I talked about how great it was to have so much fun with complete strangers.

It was simply a wonderful night and was, I think, the best use of my money I've found in a long time.

Speaking of dying on the parkway...

I forgot to mention the idea for a bumper sticker that I want on my car.

It should be a contrasting color to the color of the car, and it should have red and yellow flashing LED lights around the border. And it should say, "Use your damn blinker!"

That's all.

Random

I went to Walmart today, the new one that opened up close to my house. It is much better than the North Brunswick Walmart, which you have to have a passport in order to enter, and is reminiscent of that time my grandparents took me to a dusty, dingy Mexico town. When I'm at that Walmart, I always half expect a little Mexican girl to shove a box of bubble gum in my face yelling, "Un Quarto!! Un Quarto!!"

This Walmart, because of its proximity to a senior citizen's home, requires a wheelchair and/or a walker. I grabbed a shopping cart, hoping no one would notice it wasn't a walker, and took a look around. I discovered that this store is nestled on the side of a mountain, and is in fact looking over the entire Ramapo Mountain chain. Prime real estate. Like, for condos. I would pay extra to have a townhouse with a view like that. Why on earth would they waste it on a WALMART?? I'm tempted to become homeless and live in the parking lot at the Walmart.

So, I got inside, and there's another perk. Instead of the traditional McDonald's, or even worse, generic-brand McDonald's copy, there's a Subway!! Like where you can get vegetarian food with lots of real green vegetables. Wow. Walmart just went up a notch in my book.

Despite all the perks, I couldn't figure out why everyone I passed (guy or girl) was looking at my chest. I'm quite sure I haven't noticeably grown in that area, and I'm pretty sure that at breakfast I didn't spill on myself. What's everybody looking at? Do I have a preying mantis nursing on my chest? I glance down... Ohhhhhh. Right... I'm in the boondocks, and I'm wearing a jujitsu t-shirt with one guy getting thrown- what is that, Seoi Nage?- by another guy, both of them outlined in electric blue. Oops. I forgot.

Its a beige shirt, so I didn't think it was flashy. I forgot people up here don't know how to read so their eyes focus automatically on pictures. Hmm... I'll have to revise my wardrobe I think.

RANT #2

I'm on a roll tonight. Or maybe just easily pissed off. Don't get in my way for a while.

Why does Listerine find it necessary to put FD&C Blue #1 in their product? It has no effect whatsoever on elimination of bacteria. Jerks. Who told you that if its blue, I'm more likely to buy the product? What if I like brown? Or whatever color your product is before the Blue #1... Maybe I LIKE that color. Maybe its aesthetically pleasing. Maybe it reminds me of a brown teddy I had when I was little and I'll buy your product for sentimental reasons. In short, who SAID I WANTED A BLUE TONGUE???

thinking...

I hate change. My life is changing with or without me though, so its all a question of whether or not I want to mold myself to the changes or just get completely passed by.

By the end of the summer, I think I will be a completely different person from who I was when the summer began. I hope that I will recognize myself, that I won't miss myself too much, and that I will value myself more. I hope that in the changing, my friends will accept these changes so that I will not have to make new ones, but if I do, I hope that it will not be too hard.

I hope that you will be able to change with me and I hope that I will not cling to a fairy tale, but instead will find that some fiction is actually non-fiction.

I hope that I will believe in myself and trust myself enough to be able to let go of things. If I can let go, I can soar, or if not soar, then at least I will be able to enjoy a controlled fall.

awww...

Ok so I didn't have such a great week, which sets me on edge emotionally I guess. I also, after not seeing Steve for three weeks, had a reunion with him that somehow didn't go as I'd expected. Jujitsu on Thursday was quite mental and virtually no physical techniques which is also straining to an unpracticed mind like mine. So, add to that several hours of fairy tale romance, sobbing mothers, and guys who actually know how to dance... and its no wonder that right now I feel like crying, just to get it out.

Today, I went to Matt's wedding. Matt and I have known each other since I was in 4th grade. He's my little brother, so to think that now he's married... is just crazy. I remember tackling him in the yard playing soccer and riding to school playing "travel bingo." Its just nuts.

But, it was a beautiful wedding. The ceremony was perfect (although if it were my wedding I'd want the pastor to speak instead of read... but that's the theater major in me). The reception, here, was gorgeous. If I had the money, that's where I'd want my reception to be. In fact, they had my dream wedding. I'll probably end up with something different, just for budget's sake, but if I had no limit, it'd be their wedding, almost exactly.

The best man and the maid of honor were engaged as well, which made it extra special. They got up together to give the speech and Mike said something like, "Sharon, I've grown to know you and love you over the years, and if I could pick anybody to take care of you and love you for the rest of your life, it'd be my best friend Matt." Everyone kind of "aww-ed" and Mike said, "Wow, look at me, I'm a pansy." Everyone laughed and he dropped his voice an octave and said "I work out." It was great. Just like Michael.

The DJ and Emcee were excellent, and somehow, everyone was out dancing way before the food was brought out. Even more spectacular was that everyone managed to have a good time without "the big five" being played (Macarena, Electric Slide, YMCA, Cotton-eyed Joe, and Who Let the Dogs Out). To me, that is a sign of an excellent DJ, that he can have a great wedding where the dance floor is crowded the entire time until the very last song, without playing the popular "wedding/bar-bat mitzvah/baby-wedding shower/any and every other occasion involving a dance floor" songs.

The complete topper on the wedding, as I told someone a little while ago, is that my reaction to seeing them (now but also even before this) was "wow... I don't know if I could ever find someone I could be that in love with in a whole lifetime." I just don't know if I could have that much passion in my life. I wish I could, but I don't know how to generate that in myself. Perhaps it is their youth and energy. In the 7 weddings I've been to, this couple has been the youngest. I just don't know how they do it. It was probably the most romantic wedding I've ever been to.

Anyway... its late, so I'd better finish up the AWW feelings, have my cry, and go to sleep. Congratulations to Matt and Sharon!

Life

A few days ago, I watched a butterfly open its wings for the first time. It is amazing how sometimes the simple little things in nature can induce an adrenaline rush.

It is also amazing how the tiny things like butterflies can induce the same amount of adrenaline as the big things, like whales jumping out of the water ten feet in front of you.

More out of curiosity than anything else...

Someone I know sent this to a bunch of people on Myspace. I wonder what kind of responses she received. Would anyone like to try it out?

01. What are 5 things you would want me to know before I died?

02. What would 5 questions be that you have been wanting to ask me?

03. If I died, would you come to my funeral?

04. If I died, would you cry?

05. If I died, would you forget me eventually?

06. If I died, what would be going through your head?

07. Would you tell me you loved me before I died?

08. Would you mean it?

09. If I died, would you regret anything you said to me?

10. If I died, would you be wishing you told me something that you haven't already told me?

11. If I died, what would be your last memory of me?

12. If I died, what would you remember me by?

13. If I died tonight, I would want to know your true feelings about me. What are your complete
feelings about me, up to this day?

Hmm I'm not sure I want to know the answer to 13, so if anyone has second thoughts about telling me, then feel free to omit it.

cape cod photos

For those of you who are interested, you can view my pictures from Cape Cod here. Its the album titled "Brand New Photos" all the way on the right.

EDIT: I just found out you can't view them without having a myspace account. I'm working on finding a way around it because I realize not everyone has myspace... Sorry.

The Trip...

Here it is, the one you've all been waiting for. I spent two weeks in Cape Cod, "blogging" in a little notebook. More like "jotting" because I only put down a few key points I wanted to flesh out later. To save time, I'm going to abbreviate wherever I can. Try to follow along. You're all smart I'm sure you can do it.

Fri. 7-20-07
Well, I suppose all my entries will be short while I'm in CC. 1) because I'll be copying them down when I get back, and 2) because there's not much paper here. Its so gorgeous and peaceful here, and I'd forgotten how it is. The birds and chipmunks here are so used to having throngs of other creatures around that they just assume we're part of the wildlife. The goldfinches and chickadees come in swarms in the morning, and the hummingbirds fight all the time over the sugar water. We have accumulated more boats over the years, so now our fleet consists of 2 canoes, a kayak, 2 sailboats, and a rowboat (no combustion motors allowed on the lake). I am excited about the sailboats because its been so long since I've been able to practice. There's even a great view- the house is up on a hill and the deck overlooks the lake. I feel like I'm in an eagle's nest- paradise- a place where I can survey the world without having to be a part of all the problems. I think its going to be good getting away. On the way up I let my mind wander, and it wasn't to good places. Perhaps here, my mind can rest and be at peace for a while. Perhaps here, I'll find the distance to be able to heal for real from the things that have been plaguing me for a long time now, instead of this mock healing I've been doing. Perhaps...

7-20-07 Quotes:
"The copper pig on the deck is actually a watering can but you can't fill it up all the way or its nose will run."

Sat 7-21-07
My aunt and uncle and cousin came out from Michigan to visit. Shane got to see Boston for the first time, and experienced the fanaticism that is a Red Sox game. I'm sure he's actually a Tigers fan (that's the same sport right?) but he's an 8-year-old kid. Sports are sports. Before they got there, Dad gave me a sailing lesson just to be sure I remembered everything. I've never been sailing without him anyway so he just wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing. After that my aunt Michele asked me to take Shane out sailing on the Sunfish and we did and the wind promptly died. Fun for him, I'm sure.

7-21-07 Quotes:
"The good ole state of Massatuchets!" (Say it kinda fast, just switch the phonetic sounds instead of the actual letters. You'll get it eventually.)

Sun 7-22-07
My uncle Scott took Shane out on the Sunfish cause there was some real wind this time, and I took the kayak. We went across into the sluiceway, into the next pond which was smaller. The wind changed, Scott said "duck" and Shane did, but for some reason Scott didn't. All the other canoers on the lake heard the "thump" the "d'oh!" and Shane's "This guy doesn't know how to sail!!" It was cute. That was the pond where Henry David Thoreau spent some time. Not Walden, where he wrote his book, but Williams Pond. It got me thinking about how great it is up there for photographers. When we got back, I gave Shane a quick kayak lesson and we went in the canoe catching frogs. I had always known I lacked the stereotypical Jersey accent, and I took a test once that told me I had a "midwestern" accent. But I felt like as soon as my Michigan relatives arrived, I started picking up the Michigan speech. I would say something and then think, "Why did I say it like that? I don't talk that way..." Anyway, after that we went to a drive-in theater to see Ratatouille, which was a really great movie.

7-22-07 Quotes:
"What are you talking about?? Three pair beats everything!!" (Gotta love poker.)

Ratatouille: ~If you focus on what you left behind you will never be able to see what lies ahead.
~Don't just hork it down!
~Change is nature, the part we can influence.
~Where are you going? ~Forward!!
~Why do I need to pretend? ~You never did (always, his whole life, pretending to be a rat, pretending to be a human, just depending on the crowd... i can feel that...)

Mon 7-23-07
We went to see the CC lighthouse, also called the Highland Light. It was pretty foggy, so it looked cool. My brother snapped some pictures of a sheepdog named Mala. No, not the Italian word meaning "bad." This dog was named after the wife of Chewbacca. What? Someone actually married that walking carpet? Yes. And what's even more sad is that I knew that already. Geeks, geeks everywhere. Then we went to Provincetown and did the touristy thing. Provincetown is known for its "Pilgrim's Tower" a tribute to the Mayflower Pilgrims who actually landed at Provincetown first and found it unsuitable for habitation and moved on to Plymouth. Then we went to Newcomb Hollow, a beach on the Atlantic side of CC. Shane had a blast, running along the waves, which are bigger than the ones on the shores of Lake Michigan, and wonder of wonders, they are salty to boot! We also saw a grey seal poke his head out of the water and watch the fishermen on the beach which was pretty cool.

Tues 7-24-07
Went sailing a little, and mom and I took the canoe out, with all three cameras! We don't really trust any of the other boats besides the two canoes with our cameras in them. Sailboats and kayaks... not too sturdy. We got some really great pictures, of flowers, a giant turtle, and dad on the sailfish before he ripped the white sail and had to switch to the smaller red and white sail. It still sails great though. I like that one the best I think. Too bad they don't make them anymore. Well, mom and I got pretty sunburned because 1) our sunscreen is probably 10 years old and 2) canoes are slow especially if mom's got a paddle in her hand. For the next two days I had to cover up my bathing suits with blouses. I don't want skin cancer! I have also developed the notorious "sealegs" which make if difficult to walk on land. I lie in bed at night and my inner ear is telling me my bed is gently rocking from side to side. I can't decide if I like the feeling.

Wed 7-25-07
I went to the library to get my internet fix. Its amazing how much I can do in just a half hour. I think I like the whole speed-reading concept. Another concept I discovered at the library is "Dune Doubloons." Basically its a local barter currency. You shovel a neighbor's sidewalk, he pays you in a gold or silver doubloon (depending on how much time it took you). You then take your doubloon and pay the girl across the street to watch your kids... and so on. The pamphlet I read gave some suggestions on things you could do to earn doubloons. They had the usual things like baking dinners, organizing paperwork for someone, whatever. Then one thing caught my eye. "Costuming someone for a drag show." Um. Ok. Guess that's in high demand here, and oh yeah I just remembered this is Massachusetts. One final amazing concept I have always loved is the out-door shower. A lot of homes up in CC have this feature, because of the proximity to the ocean and the abundance of sand that somehow finds its way all over your body. Instead of trekking through a clean house to the bathroom, you just shower outside. Another plus is that from our shower you have a great view of the lake, and the walls of the shower are just low enough that you can see out, but just high enough that nobody has to see your pasty white flabby butt. Well, that depends on who you are, you might have a great butt, I don't know. But lets just say you usually have some parts no one wants to see. Its a great experience showering and watching the sun go down, or the fog rolling in onto the lake, or whatever.

Fri 7-27-07
My dad and I went whale watching. It was pretty neat. We saw Finbacks, Humpbacks, and Atlantic White-Sided Dolphins. Two of the whales did that jumping out of the water thing, which is supposed to be pretty rare and also very difficult to catch on camera. My brother went home, my relatives went back to Michigan, and my mom went to a party. So my dad and I had some good nature-stuff that we like that no one else really cares for. We also went into a pirate museum. The CC shores are the home of the Whydah, the only known pirate wreck so far. That's kinda cool I guess.

7-27-07 Quotes:
"Thank you for ruining my favorite songs by enjoying them with me"
"Time flies when you're having rum."

Mon 7-30-07
I spent a lot of time just hanging out with my dad. My mom's friend Karen is here. I'm sitting here wondering what it would be like to pick up and go to the Caribbean in the fall with only 2 days' notice. As in, even I don't know that I'm leaving day-after-tomorrow. I hear that's the cheapest way to get a cruise. I am also thinking I ought to get a job. And I'm thinking maybe its time to find more friends. Like West Milford friends. I have some here, but we aren't that close. Maybe there are more somewhere around here. I have also been pondering stuff. I have noticed every once in a while that I get angry with a certain person in my life, not for anything in particular, but I am angry that they are in my life. I have been blaming this person in my heart for things when in my head I know I have a 50% share of the responsibility. Its the classic passion vs. reason conflict, but turned around. I'm not sure if I should work on that, or just ignore it. Being angry isn't always a bad thing, and I don't let my anger control me or even affect other people. Most of the time no one knows its there.

Tues 7-31-07
Dad and I went bike riding in the bike trails above Provincetown (ie, sand dunes). It was cool to see nature in that way, and I found myself meditating much like I do when I go running. Its quite therapeutic. I thought about jujitsu and how if you can't stime in life (let go of things) then you can't do it on the mat. I was also thinking that guys who don't wear shirts make me jealous. If I can't do that, you can't either. And the last thing was my dad and I kinda have a cool relationship. I think I'm more guyish when I'm around him. When a guy asks a question and another guy says "I don't care" it means "I don't care." When a guy asks a question and a girl says "I don't care" it means "you should know me well enough not to have to ask" or "I care but you have to read my mind to know what I want." When I'm with my dad, "I don't care" means "I don't care." Its kinda interesting how all this comes from riding a bike.

Wed 8-1-07
Today two hummingbirds had a dogfight and one nearly stabbed me in the face. I'd been sitting there reading for over an hour so I don't know how he could have not noticed me. I have been rereading all my childhood books. The series is about a girl in 1902 North Carolina who likes to get into adventures and solve mysteries and stuff. I mentioned to my mom that I couldn't figure out why every time Mandie and her friends sat down in the parlor, they ended up drinking coffee. When I was 15 I thought coffee was the most tantalizing smell with the most disappointing taste. I didn't know why she would want to drink that. My mom responded with, "Well, they DO grow tobacco down there." Right mom... and that has to do with coffee how? Guess that was a senior moment... I went down to the lake with my dad and took the kayak around the lake. We had seen a blue Sailfish and wanted to know who else had one on the lake, cause they are kind of a rare boat these days. I glanced at all the boats tied up on my trip around, but didn't see it. I did, however, see a little shih tzu jump off a boogie board into water that was over his head. I guess he thought he was a bigger dog or maybe didn't realize the water was so deep. But he sank right down and then popped right up and did a frantic doggie paddle for the shore. He sat down by "mom" and started coughing and wheezing. Since he was ok, it was kinda funny to watch. When I got back from my kayaking trip, I sat on the dock with my dad on the beach. It was kind of a windy day and we were watching a guy trying to un-capsize his sailboat. He would get it to flip right-way-up, the wind would catch it, and it would go back over on the other side. He did this about 4 or 5 times before dad got on the boogie board and paddled out to help him (guess he's a sadist when it comes to beginner sailors). I followed as well and basically the two of them got it to stand upright together and when it started to go over the other side, I added ballast on that side. It turns out the guy had the sail cleated so when the wind took it, it wouldn't turn to release the pressure, it would just flip. We got back to shore and dad just shook his head... "Rookies." But the guy was grateful because I bet he was paying by the half hour just to rent the boat.

Thurs 8-2-07
The sailing was good today as well- windy but not too windy. I also took some sunflower seeds and got the chipmunks to eat out of my hand. It was pretty cool.

Fri 8-3-07
We took one last swim before we left, and I managed to find the patience to sit there long enough for the chipmunks to actually sit on my hand and eat sunflower seeds. It was a pretty cool experience... I've always wanted a pet chipmunk so this was probably as close as I'm gonna get. He even let me run my finger down his side cause he was so into the sunflower seeds. And I touched that little cheek pouch full of seeds, just to see how it felt- that thing is really thin! Anyway... that was a great way to end the trip.

And then I got back and had that awful rant about my cactus... but the reason I had such a bad headache is my wisdom teeth have decided to finish their ascent to the surface instead of stopping the job halfway through like I thought they were going to do. So thats cool I guess that maybe they will be the same height as my other teeth now haha.

Honey, I'm hoooommmme...

While I was on vacation, I jotted notes on my adventures and thoughts for each day. I just have not put them up here yet.

I'm feeling kinda crappy right now, and I just wish I could stay on vacation forever. I had a headache the entire 7.5-hour drive, got back almost nauseous. There was a thunderstorm coming so we had to unpack at lightspeed which made my headache worse. I did a lot of the lifting because my dad hurt his back yesterday.

I went in the sunroom and sat in the dark with the fan on for a while, while the pounding in my head slowed to a crawl. Then I went upstairs and discovered that while I was gone, my cactus melted.

Not REALLY melted, but apparently the roots rotted and it spread to the base of the plant, which made it look like the top part of the cactus was sitting in a puddle of melted cactus.

I quickly turned on my computer, checked Google to find out what to do with sick cactus, and discovered surgery was in order.

I have a feeling its going to die anyway. And while it shouldn't mean much to me... its only a cactus... it does. I've had it for about 2 years now and when I first got it, it was nice and straight. As time passed, I noticed a bulge, perhaps some kind of tumor. But no, I later realized, it was not a tumor, but simply changing shape. At the top of the cactus, there was now a small heart shape, as if that cactus loved me.

And now, there's a huge chance the thing is dead, unless I can make it grow from a cutting.

It just seems like... in the past few months, so many things have been taken away from me. My phone died, and I lost a lot of numbers. I had them backed up on my computer, which died before I could transfer them. I lost many photographs, songs, poetry, papers I'd written, short stories I hoped one day to flesh out into novels, and encouraging IM conversations that I read when I'm going through rough times. The few remnants of that old hard drive were on a flash drive- some of the most important things I wanted to be sure to have copies of. Somehow, during my move, the flash drive has disappeared as well.

I'm probably going to jinx myself but sometimes I feel that if I'm going to slowly lose some of my most treasured pieces of my past, I'd rather they all go up in flames at once than have everything slowly crap out on me. As Scott once said to me, "Its death by a thousand bee stings."

Not only that... I really enjoy living with my family and once again being a part of their lives, but I also really miss living with Anissa and Taylor. I don't think I appreciated it enough while I was there but it was an awesome experience. So there's another thing I've lost.

All this was triggered by a silly little cactus that I felt was my duty to take care of, but when your head is pounding for no reason you can't help but cry over a puddle of cactus.

I don't know why all this stuff is happening to me and a little part of me is whispering about Job, in the Bible, who lost his family and property and health and still "remained righteous and did not curse God." The other part of me is saying I have no connection to Job, because given enough provocation, I am pretty sure I won't remain righteous.

Now, I'm thinking of an email I received once about a guy stranded on a desert island whose only shelter caught on fire. He was upset, but the next day discovered that a ship had seen his smoke signal and he was rescued.

My hut is burning now... but maybe that means help is on the way. Maybe that means that God won't seem so far away as he has been for a few years now.

All this from a stupid little cactus given to me by a stupid stupid... I'll go now I guess.

PS. I went through two weeks of mail and found the card Cara made me for my birthday. Its so... awesome. Its somehow both stormy and serene and I almost wish I could be inside the picture.

ackkkk...

For those of you who don't know, we are leaving in the morning for two weeks in Cape Cod, Massachussets, so I will not be blogging for a while or if I do it won't be much.

Mom has to get all of her bulbs planted before we leave and also since the grocery stores are so expensive up there, mom bought all our food here and we are going to make food and freeze it and bring it up there in the coolers.

But since she's planting, that leaves me to cook the food, since my brother and my dad are mostly useless in the kitchen.

I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as veggie lasagna because it just isn't lasagna without the meat. This is coming from the mouth/fingertips of a self proclaimed beef-hater. Take the meat out and its just a funny tasting casserole.

The other thing I have decided is that if God ever decided for whatever reason that I can't go to heaven, instead of sending me to hell he could just smother me with mozzarella cheese. It would have the same effect on my soul.

I can't get the smell off my hands. I have tried soap. I have tried lemon juice. I have tried vinegar. I am about ready to throw up.

Birthday weekend...

Ohhkay... I know you're all probably wondering what happened this weekend, and whether or not it was totally fabulously awesome.

So, Thursday I drove down to New Brunswick, with a car full of random stuff that Steve told me to bring. I already told the story of what happened Thursday night so I'll start with Friday morning. Steve had to get his insurance paperwork to the DMV, so he got up really early and let me sleep in. What I didn't know was that he was also running errands. He took my bikes which I had been storing in the basement to the bike shop and had them fixed up. I had been meaning to do that, I just hadn't gotten around to it. So, now I have two working bikes. When Steve got back, I still didn't know what was happening so he had to tell me what kind of clothes to wear. Good thing I brought a lot of options.

We went to the mall first because I've been meaning to get a new bathing suit... not that there's anything wrong with the ones I have... just... yeah... its a girly thing. Anyway the one I fell in love with was two pieces, and each piece was $80 marked down to $60. So I said forget that, I'll swim naked before I'll pay $120 for practically no fabric. This is why I hate bathing suit manufacturers. I could get a prom dress for $120. I could get a two hour massage. I could have food for twelve days.

So anyway when I was done non-shopping, we went to the park next to the mall and rode the bikes around. That was so much fun and its been so long since my bikes were functional.

When we were done biking, we sat near the car with a cooler of cheese, crackers, fruit, and sparkling cider. The ducks in the area decided they needed to be invited to this little picnic.

When we got back in the car, Steve made me put on a blindfold so I didn't know where we were going next. He stopped somewhere and said, "Just sit here, I'll be right back." In a few minutes he came back and said, "Ok they're being bums and think its silly that I blindfolded you. We're back at my house and there are people inside. You can take the blindfold off." I went into the house and I could hear that everyone was in the kitchen, except for Rod. I said hi, and we kinda talked a little and then a few minutes later Navin came out of the kitchen and said, "Oh! Waait! SURPRISE!!" So the whole night Navin kept "surprising" me at non-climactic moments. Anyway, the surprise was an Indian dinner masterminded by Anissa but cooked by everyone.

Left to right, you will see, in no particular spelling-correctness, papadum (Indian tortilla chips), egg curry, some sort of pea-tomato-paneer thing, tuna cutlets, a saffron-rice-raisin-cashew dish, chicken tikka masala, palapum (a crepe-like pancake thing made out of fermented rice flour), spinach with coconut, and chipati (kind of like pita bread).


Left to right, you will see: Taylor and Anissa; Taylor, Anissa, Navin; and Nick, Mike, James, Rod, and Steve.


After that, there was Mango, Chocolate, and Party Cake ice cream, and different toppings that matched the different flavors. And Mango Lassi, a yogurt Indian drink... kinda like a smoothie. While we were all crammed around the table Navin mentioned a movie later, and everyone told him not to give away anymore secrets, at which point he SURPRISED me again.

Later, Cara showed up to join us for the mysterious movie, which turned out to be Harry Potter. While we were there, we sat with Joyce, a former jujitsuka, and her boyfriend Lenny. I haven't seen her in a long time. That night I completely passed out, exhausted and happy that I got to see all my friends.

In the morning, Steve asked if I was interested in visiting some of his friends who were all planning on hanging out and playing frisbee. I said sure, so we went over but they weren't playing frisbee by the time we got there because I was so exhausted from Friday that I slept in really late. So we sat around and played Hoopla, which is a sort of extension game of Cranium. It was fun.

Then we left and went back to Steve's place, where he told me I should change into different clothes, and get my cowgirl boots. I ended up with his Indiana Jones hat because its cooler than my hat, despite how cool my hat is haha. But I neglected to get any awesome hat pictures.

Anyway, once dressed up, we went to the Colorado Cafe, which is part restaurant, part bar, part dance floor, and part hicksville. We made it in time for some country line dancing lessons, and learned "Sundance" which is a 4-wall line dance, and "Blue Rose" which is a partner dance. We shared some buffalo chili and Steve had ribs; I had a chicken sandwich. Then we went back and danced a little more but mostly watched white people dancing (haha), and then Steve went on the mechanical bull and lasted 24 seconds. Note the bull's Jesus fish bumper sticker.



Then we danced some more, and watched people dance, making the total number of hours there about 6 1/2. It was kind of funny, there was one black girl, and one Asian (Steve) and one guy that looked like he was part Asian, part something European. Everyone else was white and usually had a beer belly. Yay for Hicksville! And for Day Two, Steve succeeded in completely wearing me out. Maybe he was trying to get me tired enough not to wake up so he could draw a moustache on me while I slept or something.

So, that was supposed to be the end of the weekend, but because we saw Joyce and Lenny on Friday, Joyce invited us to go to the shooting range with them. Steve is learning a lot of gun and knife defense techniques in jujitsu so he was really interested. I wasn't as interested, but still thought it would be neat to go.

Steve got a lot of bull's eyes, when he took three minutes to aim.


Steve with a .22, and a .45 (the same type used by James Bond in Casino Royale).



And me, taking my time trying to figure out how to hold and shoot a .22


So, that's not all the pictures from this weekend, but only the important ones haha. Anyway, I had a great weekend, and it was even better that some of it was spontaneous and a surprise even to Steve. Now he knows how it feels hahaha.

And thanks to everyone who came and made dinner. It was SOOOO yummy!

HENNA again...

This time, I remembered to do before and after pictures. These first ones are the "before." Note that my hair is brownish on my head but the very tips have been sun-bleached by my job into a bright orange color.




Once done with that, I went inside and glopped some green-chocolate-mud onto my head. Actually last night I did some research on henna and discovered the reason that henna is green but leaves a red mark on anything it touches when its wet. Henna is a plant, so its green. But inside the plant cells there is a chemical called lawsone (it has a red color) that is released when the cell wall breaks down, usually by hot water but sometimes with acidic liquids like vinegar or lemon juice which is why a lot of henna artists use lemon juice when mixing the henna.

I mixed mine with two teaspoons of powdered cloves because cloves contain the chemical eugenol, which is a brown color. There, now I feel smart. Back to normal me:

Thus, I now have auburn hair that smells like ham spice (the hay smell of the henna is completely overpowered by the cloves). No, I did not take a "during" picture. The henna was everywhere, and the camera's not mine.



There it is folks, the new soft-haired me. Really. Its very soft. Mmmm velvety.

Trip to the shore...

My mom and brother and some friends went down to my uncle's house at the shore on Friday. I followed, Saturday morning. Thought you all might enjoy some pictures.

Me on the lagoon:


Mr. and Mrs. Swan show up at the Cracker Cafe with baby Elizabeth. "Is it ok if she has crackers for breakfast dear? I think it should be ok..."


Elizabeth spit out the crackers so we gave her some grits. She liked that better.



Everyone is satisfied and poses nicely for a picture.


And Peter the most tame wild rabbit in the world munches on the new grass mom planted two weeks ago.

A trip to the Home and Garden Center

What kind of a vase would you use to display them?
I wonder if they come in different colors.
I wonder about the fragrance.
Who would help to put those preservative packets in the water?
Would they would look better on the kitchen table or in the entryway?
I wonder if they are cheaper by the dozen.
I wonder if they come with long-stems.

Captured at 115th and Allisonville Road in Fishers ( Indianapolis ). The sign is real and was up for about two hours before someone stopped and told them how to spell peonies.

Thoughts...

When the fire department throws a party to christen a new truck, or the EMT squad has a party for give-blood-day, or any emergency department has a non-emergency event that requires the use of their volunteers and vehicles, usually the neighboring towns are called on to cover shifts for a few hours.

What happens when every neighboring town is also involved in the same parade? I saw firetrucks today from towns I have never heard of. Some town called Murray's Island or something like that... I don't know of any islands around here except Manhattan. And Rochelle Park. I see their firetrucks every year, but I don't think I have ever driven through there.

In other news, my great uncle had a tree in his back yard cut down because it dropped a rotten branch in the yard. I counted the rings and it was 117 years old. Which means 1890. Thats pretty cool.

Anyway, I was gonna put a picture up of me standing on the tree trunk. But the scanner's not installed, the disk is missing, the film scanner's not installed but I don't have film anyway, and the digital copy is at my uncle's house in Maywood. So, short of taping the picture to my computer screen, I don't think I have any way to put it on my blog.

And that's all I have to say for now.

Because sometimes English isn't good enough

Many of you know (but some do not) that I minored in Italian in college. Through a random series of events I discovered a blog written in Italian and bookmarked it to glance at later to see if I understood any of it. What I found shocked me. I had forgotten how beautiful the Italian language is. I think the best way to describe it is that its an ancient language that has changed very little from its original Latin, and therefore, it is best used to describe old things, old memories, old friendships... its a language for memories. In fact, it has four different verb tenses for the past tense. Anyway, I hope the blog author, "Hanomalia," will not mind if I do a very poor translation so that (I hope) my English readers can travel with me as I reminisce. This is not going to be a word for word translation, because I can't say in English what it means as I understand it.

E' stato un ricordo che mi ha invaso come i raggi caldi di sole che c'erano stamani. L'ombra, il caldo, l'ora non lo so precisamente ma eccolo lì intatto.

She speaks of a memory that has penetrated her like the hot rays of the sun. The shadow, the heat, the hour, something is triggering it, but she doesn't know exactly what.

Le estati dell'infanzia quando alla fine della scuola ci si ritrovava con un appuntamento muto tutti insieme dopo un inverno da soli in appartamenti con la luce artificiale e i compiti da fare

She remembers her childhood, and the end of school, after spending all spring alone with the artificial light and the homework.

Ma a giugno cominciava l'estate, l'estate in strada perchè non avevamo parchi al massimo avevamo i campi in cui correre ed io cominciavo a starnutire e mi infangavo e cadevo e rompevo sempre i pantaloni

But June is when summer starts. There were places to run and play and fall down and always rip her pants.

E quell'ombra degli alberi e guarda che passa il primo amore il giallo dei campi il verde della cicoria gli occhi del diavolo e gli occhi della madonna Son stata felice e stamani in quel ricordo son stata felice ancora.

Under the shadow of a tree, look to see her first love pass by, the yellow of the fields and the green of the "cicoria," (I think that's chicory?) the dandelions and the violets. "I was happy and in that memory I am still happy."

Sigh. It makes me so happy to read it in Italian. Its only ok in English. You all will just have to learn to speak Italian. I miss those carefree summer days too. Summer rainstorms, and sitting them out under the trees by the water, waiting for the first love to come calling, playing games, ripping my clothes and not noticing till later because we were having so much fun, shaking sand out of my hair and getting tan instead of burned. Did you ever notice that when you hit puberty, your skin changes along with all the rest of you? In the summers, I was extremely dark... you'd think I had some Italian or Greek blood in me, in the summer, but nope... none of my ancestors had Mediterranean blood. Somewhere, somehow, my young childhood skin managed to be that skin I envy now.

Anyway... basta... enough. I'm going to bed with these summer dreams. Buonanotte.

An eventful day, in twos.

"If its one step forward and two steps back, perhaps I should turn around."

Today (which is now yesterday, because I waited to post this), a lot happened. I did two good right side stimes, and two good left side stimes. I was thrown by two different guys, and kazushied by two different women. I drove to two different places, was headbutted by two different goats, and worked in two different gardens. I even took two showers.

So, an explanation of all that, I went to work today and Betty noticed that Ebony's goat-bra was falling off. I am not kidding you, just like people, some goats get big enough to need a bra to hold it all on. So I had to climb the fence to hold her still, and thats when Glinda thought it would be a good idea to sniff, eat, and butt the back of my knee. Why the back of my knee, I have no idea, but perhaps she was in cahoots with Magenta, who thought it would be awesome to scratch her head on my butt.

When I finished with the gardens for the day, I went to jujitsu and for some odd reason, I was focused and awesome. I was happy with a lot of the techniques I was doing, and in Barb's words, my stimes were "damn good." Which is an incredible, but pleasant, surprise. Especially on the right side, because so often I find my head grazing the mat (for you non-jujitsu people, that means I'm an inch or two away from a concussion or a neck compression). But she said I had good height going over (don't know what changed). The bridge falls... well, I did one semi poorly... it was halfway between a stime and a bridgefall. But the second one, I managed to get half a hop in, which was just enough to qualify me for a genuine bridgefall, and my feet moved together, which was better than I was hoping for.

The rest of practice was good as well. We touched on every list except Goshin, and at the end, Barb said that at the level of blue belt, we should be capable of leaving our crap off the mat, but bringing our entire selves and our entire focus onto the mat. When we get that and are confident in the way that we move and do things, then we will be acting as the green belts do. So for tonight... I had that green belt mentality, even before she mentioned it. But I wonder, what put it there? And how do I keep it there? Lately its been as random as the weather. I go one day and class sucks, my techniques suck, my mood sucks, the whole entire world sucks because when one thing sucks it snowballs and drags everything else with it. And then the very next class will be awesome. Its like my jujitsu life is manic-depressive. Its either very very good, or its very very bad. And there's no way to predict how to keep it going.

My mom says that a person's outward life is a reflection of what's going on inside, and that is why the living room table looks like it does. But if you look at my room, its cluttered, there's stuff in boxes everywhere, and stuff in the closet, and I have more clothes than I thought I had, and I don't have the umph to clean or give away stuff. I don't want to touch it. And then look at my dream life, I have had so many dreams that started when I moved back home, and they are all cluttered with stuff and events too. My jujitsu life is scattered and slightly manic-depressive, and that all makes me wonder how I'm doing emotionally. I think I've closed off the window to that area so I don't have to see it. It makes me wonder, if I clean my room will that give me the drive to go into my emotional room and fix things up? Or is it that my room and my jujitsu will struggle until I've clean up inside? Which comes first? Or is it that I'm just a scattered person and it has nothing to do with my emotions? Maybe nothing is connected at all, its just a coincidence that everything is getting all scattered at once.

Now I'm just letting my thoughts wander. I'll stop now.

today...

I went to the goat farm today and they all wanted food because I was pulling weeds and they could smell the weeds on my hands... then I went with my mom to check on our friends' dogs, and they smelled the goats and went crazy. Then I went to see Sister, who is living in a palace that the vet calls the Taj Mahal. But she's used to being outdoors so she's bored out of her mind. But the woman who is taking care of her has 6 cats, and they smelled the dogs. So basically my day was a bunch of animals smelling me.

We saw a mother bear and two cubs on the way up to Shoprite today. The guy who lived there was standing on his deck banging pots, so my mom helped him out by honking the horn. The cubs ran to a tree to climb it but the tree was too big so about 4 feet off the ground the first cub realized he couldn't go any further, and started looking around for mommy. It was funny. Didn't look comfortable.

The last comment for the day is this: I hate undefined pronouns. Example: "Jenny was chasing Forrest across the field and it was all she could do to keep up with him." It what? WHAT was all she could do?? Why is "IT" such a big secret? Why won't anyone tell me so that I, too, can keep up with Forrest?

Ok now I'm done.

3 accidents in 6 months...

On New Years, my mom's rear windshield was smashed by a Corona bottle. In February or March, my dad was rear-ended while driving my brother's car. This morning, my dad and brother hit a deer on the way to work. In my dad's precious Honda.

Let's hope its not contagious. There are no more cars in the family left to smash up, so hopefully, I don't have to be involved in any deer rear-ending.

In other news, somehow the town animal shelter heard Sister was pregnant and begged my mom not to abort them. Apparently they have a kitten waiting list. So, Sister is going to spend the next 9 weeks in a large animal shelter cage so she can give birth and nurse her kittens, and at the end of it all she will be spayed and when the stitches heal, she will be released back at our house where she can continue being a feral cat who is afraid of people. Hopefully the animal shelter people will make her a little more trusting of people. Mom doesn't think it will happen but oh well.

Anyway, here's hoping Sister eats enough to actually survive her inbred pregnancy. If the kittens even survive they will probably be of that three-eyed variety. Cool!

So...

My mom neglected to tell my dad that Sister is going to have kittens. Instead she called him at work and said "You're gonna be a grampa!" Now he looks at me funny.

Anyway, the latest update is that we have a sedated pregnant cat living in a birdcage on our porch. She's not healthy enough to survive a litter of kittens. Still it would be so much fun to have kittens again.

And in more animal news, my goats are doing well. If you didn't know or are a recent addition to my blog readers, I used to work at a goat farm, and have agreed to go back there one day a week. I used to help feed the goats and horses, muck stalls, and then keep the gardens weeded and planted. I also rebuilt a rock wall that had fallen down. The first few days I worked there, Dora escaped her pen as she was accustomed to doing and broke into her mother's pen to nurse. When she was full, she left mom's pen and came over to make sure I was planting the right plants. She was a runt, so the following year when I worked again, she was still only half grown. But now she's too big to break out of the pens and she's nursing her own. She looks beautiful, like a show goat. And amazingly, the horses, Danny and Sisco, are still alive. They are probably older than I am. Apparently, goat farms are the "Florida" of the retiring horse world. Boober is also doing well. Why do cats like to roll in gravel? I never did figure that out. It looks like it might be fun. Maybe I'll try it sometime to see what the big deal is.

I'm hungry. Bye.

Hicksville!!

I threw on an old pair of jeans today so I could go out and work in the garden. They are pants that I regularly wear to garden in, therefore, the knees are worn away. As in, completely gone. All the way to the seam. So... maybe I should just make shorts out of them. That way I won't have a sunburn on my knees only, my whole entire leg could be in agony. Great! I went inside and grabbed some scissors and just cut the excess material off my legs. Kinda uneven... oh well.

The rest of the day included making jokes about cut off jeans. The epitome of hick jokes went like this:

Me: Yeah sorry about this Mexican bean and rice thing, I don't normally put that much rice in it.
Mom: Do you normally put it on your hot dogs?
Me: Not really but I'm wearing cut off blue jeans, I figured I HAD to have a chili dog.


AAaannd since my dad has a new digital camera and I've finally figured out a system for putting pictures on blogger... Here's my dad trying to outdo my hick pictures.





Just kidding.

Simple math for stupid drivers

Since I am in my first year of unsupervised driving, I am one of the few New Jersey motorists who has actually read the most up-to-date driving manual, a handy little booklet that states the laws of the road, the breaking of which can lead to fines which are also stated in said booklet.

It is all very scientific and easy, yes, I did just use "scientific" and "easy" to describe the same subject.

Rule 1. Car A is stopped at a red light. Car B is stopped at a red light. Cars A and B lie on the same line, in the same plane, but are facing in exactly opposite directions. The lights change, and both cars proceed into the intersection. At this point the math looks like this: Car A = Car B. However, Car A intends to turn left while Car B intends to go straight. This means that according to the driving manual, Car B > Car A, and gets "right of way." Car A also intends to turn left without signaling said intentions. This means that Car A should drive off a cliff. (Car A = die, moron)

Rule 2. The posted speed limit is X mph. This does not mean you should drive at (X + 10) mph. This also means that I will be going at X mph. This also means that when you are driving behind me, your speed ≤ X mph. You can not drive through me due to the Pauli Exclusion Principle (thanks D.C.!), but that's more complicated math which most drivers I have shared the road with are too stupid to understand.

Rule 3. If I am driving X mph, you must stay a safe distance away from me. "Safe distance" can be properly defined as (X ÷ 10) car-lengths away (average car-length is about 13.12 feet). Because a car > 12 inches in length, 12 inches ≠ safe distance unless X = .76 mph. To quote a bumper sticker I once saw, "get off my rear unless you are a hemorrhoid." Although if you are marking up a $15,000 vehicle with a $3 tasteless bumper sticker that allows hemorrhoids to remain on your rear, you are probably also a stupid NJ driver.

Rule 4. Driving is not a thrill ride for me. In fact, its not even close. Therefore, I will not allow it to be a thrill ride for anyone driving behind me either. If you tailgate for 15 minutes straight and do not even think about passing even when you have several opportunities, I will feel no remorse at choosing to remain within the limits of the law and NOT driving at X + 10 mph.

I think thats enough math for the day. Perhaps I will add more rules as I feel led, but in case there are any "stupid NJ drivers" who happen to come across this on the internet, I will refrain from overwhelming them with rules explained by simple math.

Disclaimer: 3/4 of this blog post was about speed. I do not intend to suggest that people should drive like a geezer and hold up a lot of traffic, nor do I regularly do this, or drive slowly to incite road rage. Its been said that the "safest speed is the speed of traffic," and I try to keep (X ± my speed) balanced between the speed of traffic and the frequency of police cars in the town in which I am driving, so that my wallet ≠ 0,-0 (or wallet > 0, for those who are picky about mathematical correctness) and so that the number of points on my license = 0.

Alice in Wonderland meets the Matrix

I have just seen the coolest movie ever. The plot, without spoilers you will understand:

(see if you can identify a little of every movie genre)

"Even the five court ladies danced in sync to the frog's flutes and drums. The whirlwind of the recycled paper was a sight to see. It was like computer graphics! That I don't support Technicolor parfaits and snobby petit bourgeois is common knowledge in Oceania! Now is the time to return home to the blue sky! The confetti will dance around the shrine gates. The mailbox and the refrigerator will lead the way! Anyone who cares about expiration dates will not get in the way of the glory train! They need to fully realize the liver of the triangle rulers. Now, this festival was decided by the 3rd grade class with the telephoto camera."

A machine allows scientists to experience the dreams of their patients. But a psychopath gains access to the machine and forces people to dream even when they are awake. (sci-fi)


"You're a feisty country girl I saved some time ago. How are you? If he was not home when I passed by around 7:30 then he probably disappeared into the instant noodle soup."

A scientist and the dream image of herself work together to find out who is behind the crimes, and stop them. (mystery)


"The ecstasy that blooms in synapse is paprika-brand milk fat! Five percent is the norm. The safety net of the ocean is nonlinear, even with what crabs dream of."

She finds herself trapped in a dream, and rescued when one of her patients unlocks the secrets in his own dream. (Romance)


"The number you called for assisting young children is not available because of crowded tires in the Pacific Ocean starting at 7:63 AM."

Suddenly the dream world begins to break through into reality! (fantasy)


"Today's weather is dreamy, and will clear up after a sunny sunny sunny sunny sunny day. The dream I had yesterday and today. The happy and mundane world will vent their anger. The dreams will grow and grow. Let's grow the tree that blooms money. Its most valuable while its still a bud. That's right, so we shall preserve the memory forever. If there is no flower there will be no fruit. If there is nothing then I won't do anything. If you're unhappy, please put a vote in this eyeball. Who would give up this throne? I am the emperor..."

The dream characters are going to take over the world! (apocalyptic/ horror)


"The one I've been waiting for since historic times! Your flute's melody is a sound for sore neurons! A fragrant fat is a first class lunch! Well-rounded achievement is missing a spice."

Finally, something which I will not tell you happens, and there's a happily ever after ending with awesome techno music. (melodrama/ fairytale)

Kudos to the Japanese for reaching for the moon instead of the sandbox shovels.

aghhhh...

So I felt fine last night, but I woke up this morning with a pain and stiffness in my neck. I touched the offending spot to see what was the matter and *gasp* there was a tumor! After hearing Steve's voice in my head (and half a dozen other guys I know) saying in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, "Ees not a tumah," I convinced myself it was a swollen lymph node.

What?? After 23 years of allergies, ear infections, and sinus problems, my body has finally decided to swell a lymph node? Why now, body? You stupid.

Now it feels like an ear infection that somehow slipped down my eustachian tubes into my neck. Either that or someone moved my ear. One or the other. I keep doing the reflexology points for lymphatic cleansing, and the gland feels tingly when I do. But I can't spend my entire day rubbing my hands and feet. Time for the echinacea/goldenseal/vitamin c/ ginger/ garlic bombardment!

Uhh... hearing and swallowing hurts.

I just need to grumble... I'm ok I think. Back to planning dinner. Bye.

Thoughts...

I remember watching a movie once where the characters describe the taste of a pear, in depth (not just "it tastes fruity") and then commenting on it and other tastes in my blog.

I realized it has been a while since I have described the smell or taste of something, and have found the perfect item to describe.

Dhaval introduced us to an Indian treat called pan. Its basically a lot of sugar, spices, and peppermint, wrapped up in a semi-bitter leaf called a beetlenut leaf. How to describe the taste? Hmm... It has the same effect on the tongue that a Monet painting has on the eyes. Mixed with incense. Yeah, it is kind of like eating incense.

Anyway, Steve and I were invited to an Indian dinner and were told not to bring anything. Not to arrive empty-handed, we brought pan, and it was a great success, thanks to Dhaval's introduction to it.

Anyway, that's all I have to say for now. The water pump in the house broke Thursday night while I was in New Brunswick for jujitsu, so I'm staying down here until I know I have access to a hot shower up north. So that's what I've been up to.

Goodnight

Had to quote it...

Send this pestilent traitorous cow-hearted yeasty codpiece to the brig!
~Cap'n Jack Sparrow

I love it.

Fun or Funny...

Making fun of Paris Hilton. I have recently discovered that she is the same height as me (5'8") and yet she weighs 15-20 pounds less. People tell me I'm too thin, so she must be on the brink of death or something.

And the other thing is this: A farmhand is hired for 60 days and is provided with a cottage to live in for the duration of his work period. For each day that he works, he will be paid 6 units (of whatever our currency happens to be). For each day that he does not work, he will have to pay two units to cover the cost of accommodations while in the cottage. At the end of the 60 days, he has 144 units of currency. How many days did he work?

I have the answer, I just don't know how one would arrive at the answer, so if anyone out there is smarter than me, please help. Thanks :-)

tears

I came across some interesting stuff... I'm not in the best mood right now but the things I am finding are helping me.

This guy is writing about his travels and some of the things he is finding in the museums:

Psalm 56:8 "Put my tears into your bottle; are they not in your book?" As we toured the National museum in Tehran looking at history dating back 6,000 years. I was amazed to see some odd shaped bottles and read the information and heard the guide's explanation. When a husband went off to war the wife or loved one would weep their tears in a bottle, upon their return they would show how many tears they had cried, they were kept in a bottle. David cried to God "put my tears into your bottle". God knows your every pain, your grief. He knows every injustice, hurt, and feeling in you. He keeps your tears as your treasure of love. The hurting lover would hand to her beloved the bottle of tears - they spoke louder than the words ‘I love you'. Everything you've gone through in life for God is a treasure for Him whom you love - and He knows it.

This other woman (I think from India) is writing about pain (I added ellipses in places where I have shortened the passage to save time):

What is pain? Is it inevitable? Is it a corrective process? Or just something that happens with no special meaning, which one learns to sometimes live with? ...it seems to me that pain and sickness among other things, are part of a process that helps your mind and your psyche to expand. When you say "Yes" to life, you are basically saying yes to all that it wants to show you, to teach you. And then life shows you what it has to, in its own way. Sometimes the learning process involves joy and ecstasy, sometimes it involves pain and when you get down to a deep enough level you see that there is actually not much difference between the two. The only difference is in our reaction: we accept the one state and reject the other and the rejection more than anything else is what brings suffering.

...In some mysterious way, pain, when approached in the right way, opens up the mind and heart and you realise that there could not have been any other way to get to where it takes you.

Some questions regarding the learning process:

...When you reject pain what are you really rejecting?
Do physical and emotional pain mirror each other?
Isn't pain (at the emotional level) often a by product of having to face a new situation in life?
Isn't suffering a result of not being able to let go?
If I were able to let go of the past, of how it used to be, and of future images of how it ought to be, would I still suffer?
...

I cried when I read it because it struck a chord in me, but as I read it again, I realized she didn't answer any of those questions. But in the end it doesn't matter, as long as I know that there is someone out in the world who is asking those questions too.

Overall... I'm not sure why I hurt sometimes, or where the pain comes from. I just know that it comes on me suddenly, and then I don't know what to do with it.

This one is for NAVIN!!!

Watch for this scam. I don't know how many of you shop at Wal-marts, but this is how I became a victim of this scam.

Two seriously good looking well-built cowboy type guys come over to your car as you are loading your purchases. They are both shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and windex with their highly defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs. Its impossible not to look. When you offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another store. You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so he can make love to you! While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!!!

I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow.

(This came to me in an email so if anyone wants it in email form let me know and I'll send it to you.)

random question

Why is it that on the box of... feminine products... the "y" and the "r" are italicised? Are we supposed to say pant-Y lin-ERs?