I really have no clue how many people read this, but thanks to all of you who do. And thanks to Ivan for bringing up a good point. Our upbringing has a lot to do with how we view the world. But it doesn't have to be set in stone. Take, for example, my past. My past is a part of my life I don't really talk about a whole lot:
I spent 3rd- 8th grade in a Christian school. While this school has a fond place in my heart, I am able to look back and recognize some fundamental flaws, that really took me a while to overcome after I left. While there was an emphasis on Bible knowledge (facts, important names, dates, where to find things, memorizing verses), that was as much as the teachers could do for us. The school enrolled students of multiple denominations, so to avoid offending one denomination or another, we were not taught how to get close to God, because that would step on some religious toes. There was nothing spiritual about the school; it was only about knowledge. Which is not strictly a flaw, but it made it so that there wasn't much difference between that and a public school, except that there were more rules.
My family is one of divided beliefs, as my father is agnostic. I can't really say I had a whole lot of spiritual support as I was growing up, because my mother had problems with depression, and also (my personal opinion) she did not want my father to feel distanced just because he doesn't believe God has anything to do with us as humans.
In all honesty, and looking at the circumstances in my past, I don't know where my hunger for God came from. There isn't a whole lot of reason for it. Its one of those things that just happened. I have tried to do things on my own, without God's help, and its when I'm completely alone like that, that I felt the most vulnerable and lost, like nothing in my life at that time was going right.
I'm curious about the people who do things in life "because they willed it." It seems to me that either (1) they are much stronger-willed people than I am, or (2) God's working in their lives anyway, whether or not they recognize it or want Him to.
Anyway, I've just let my mind wander over a couple of different points. I think I'm done, but I may return to this topic later.
Friday, November 26, 2004
that's interesting
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2 comments:
well well that really answers(sarcasm in case you dont catch it) what i had to say but was i really asking you anything in the first place? whatever i know who i am or do i?
You're right, your response was not answered directly by my ramblings. I was more direct and to the point when I responded just below your original comment. If you want to vent your anger at me, please do it in person, on the phone, or as an email/instant message. Sarcasm will not be tolerated on this blog, because other people read it, and they don't need a shadow cast to them as well. Any future negativity that is posted here (by you or anyone) will be deleted, in consideration of my friends who read this blog.
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