Where is God?

A lot of things happened today. I'm not quite sure where to fit God into it. I know He's in it somewhere, but sometimes its so hard to see Him at work. Someone I know asked me to do something, and I said I'd think and pray about it. But last time I thought and prayed about it, God said wait. He hasn't said anything else yet. But I'll ask again. The thing is, sometimes I like things how they are. I mean, other times I do want that change, but there ARE times when I'm happy right now, no change needed.

On a totally random thought, I realized something about actors. Its a little complicated. Based on what I think my future will be like, my future husband would have to put God above everything else in his life, but he would also have to love theater (on- or back-stage) as much as I do. The problem is, I don't think I ever want to date an actor. It would be too easy for them not to show me who they really are. Does that make sense? Or am I being insanely paranoid?

That last paragraph has nothing to do with what I did tonight, which was to go to a play about four mentally handicapped guys and their social worker. It was funny, in a sad sort of way. It had me a little teary-eyed in some parts, because it made me think of the volunteer work I did at Starlight Farm. I miss those kids. Sometimes, I wish life could be as simple and straightforward as they percieve it. People talk about how abortions are ok because then we could avoid having children who are mentally handicapped or Down's Syndrome. But, if we got rid of all the Down's Syndrome babies, how would we ever see what's pure and simple in the world? We would be killing a lot of where the joy in this world comes from. So, yeah, that's something God just wrote through my fingers as I typed. I didn't plan on saying that.

What I was planning on saying was Ivan was in it, and seeing someone you know in a play makes it 100 times better than the same play without. Or 100 times better than any Broadway show in which I don't know the actors. Knowing the actor makes you realize their talents because you know them in person and then you can see the change that comes over them when they step on the stage. So yeah, Ivan, if you read this, you're a very talented actor. Well, you're talented in other areas too, but I was impressed.

It made me realize (yet again) how much I miss being on stage. When I left Beth's theater group to go to college, I felt like my right hand was cut off. Now, I'd join something if I could, but I take my schoolwork too seriously. I don't know if I can balance everything right now. Theater will have to wait while I... learn about theater. How ironic.