ARRGGHHH

This is attempt number three at posting a blog entry that my computer seems intent on deleting. On attempt number two, I speculated that perhaps the computer is inhabited by a gremlin. I have now upgraded the word "gremlin" to "demon." Having said that, I feel justified in praying without feeling irreverant, that the wrath of God would descend upon this wretched and miserable paperweight.

Let me try and recap what I said in attempt number two:

"I heard a story once that the man who first had the idea for a computer saw a dishwasher, and a toaster and thought that since we have machines to do things for us, why not a machine that does everything (multi-tasking)? The result was a machine that does nothing. This is not to insult the handful of Computer Geniouses or Computer Science majors who have the patience to call me friend. But sometimes I really get the urge to throw the thing out my second-floor window."

I'm slowly losing everything I wrote in the first and second attempts, because my memory isn't that great at 2 am. I know I was writing more for the sake of writing than for the need to bare my soul. And because I was hoping that as I wrote, some of the people on my buddylist might come back from being away.

I also wrote about watching a movie with my mom and trading massages with her. She got the better end of the deal because I've been giving her massages since I was 8, and because her grip isn't strong enough to get rid of the rocks that are sometimes referred to as muscles (the ones that start with trapez- my 8th grade health teacher would be dissapointed I've forgotten the name). I used to be incredibly relaxed, and actually, I would get tense if someone tried to give me a massage. Figure that one out. But in the past couple of months, I've been really tense. I didn't even realize I've been tense. Scott suggested last week after jujitsu that I should look into taking a massage class. I was politely and mildly interested and then I proceeded to have a week of midterms that woke me up to just how tense I really am. When I mentioned the idea to my mom, of course she told me I should do it at all costs. (I think she's always had a secret wish that I would drop out of Rutgers and go to a school for massage therapy to become a masseuse. masseuice? massuse? Massager. And of course, give her discounts when I go into business...) Anyway, I have no idea what made me so tense. I've had tough semesters before, I've had midterms before. There's not much new in my life that might cause stress. Is there? If anyone can think of something I'm missing, let me know.

Anyway, that's as much as I can remember about my entries. And it kind of makes writing a blog seem a little artificial when I'm trying to remember what I said before instead of just letting my thoughts flow. But anyway... thats my entry for tonight.