I should start a procrastination club, but...

I would never get around to it. That's a quote from an IM convo I had the other day. I used it because right now, I REALLY don't want to study for my comp sci midterm. What on earth does a theater major need to know True Basic for? And yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition. On purpose. Ha. Take that.

Hmm, it looks like I'm in an obstinate mood tonight. I don't know where that came from. Here's another IM quote:

name withheld to protect the procrastinator: yay!
nwtptp: a blog!
nwtptp: i'll never ever get any work done now
arwenundomiel9: lol, that sounds like me!!

So now that everyone knows, specifically, the purpose of this entry, I will continue. Readers beware, I did a lot of thinking today, and in terms of content or relevance, my thoughts don't really connect to each other.

So, the first great epiphany I had occurred while watching We Were Soldiers. "I have never felt true fear in my waking life." Ironic thought for someone who just wrote a blog entry about how much fear there is in my life. But that fear is intimidation fear. I allow circumstances to overwhelm me, and I know it is something I need to conquer. But I hope and pray that I will never feel true fear in my waking life. In my dreams, I have already felt this fear. It comes from looking in the eyes of absolute evil. I don't know if that thought was actually spawned by the movie; I don't think it was, but if not, then I don't understand the neuron connections in my brain. Well, then again, who does?

The other thought I had sounded stupid when I wrote it out, so I deleted it, and effectively used about 20 minutes of procrastination time. Yay.

Ooh... I did just have another epiphany though. Something happened today that may be a little hard to describe. In Jujitsu (translated, the art of gentleness), for those of you who are unfamiliar with it, all of the methods of throwing someone (that I have learned so far) have involved keeping the person off balance, always slightly on their toes, until the moment their feet leave the ground, only to find it again a second later after they have flipped over your back, and landed, more or less, on theirs. Wow. That was a cool, dramatic way of describing it. But that wasn't the point. I am getting to that. Anyway, the off-balance part is called kazushi. And (here's the epiphany) today, I found myself in a sort of verbal kazushi, always off balance, then swept off the ground, and finding myself on my back without even realizing it had happened until later. And that's the cool part. It was so gentle, I barely noticed that I had become extremely vulnerable to the other person. This person must have been very skilled in the art of speaking.

Hmm... I hope I don't have too many jujitsu epiphanies, because I'd have to take a lot of time to explain the significance to people. Anyway, I think on that note, before my ephiphanies get weird, I'll go.