cold

So... the heater in my room hasn't been warm in 12 days. Our thermostat is in the living room which stays warm. So the system thinks every room in the house is warm. But my room has 6 windows. Thank God my mom gave me a down blanket for Christmas.

I mentioned that I was going to write about the massage class.

The teacher began by explaining to us about our bodies. It was really interesting. She said all the water and cells flowing through your body rub against each other to create elecricity. So there's basically an electrical field around your body. A lot of religious groups or cultures will refer to it as chi, an aura, or an Indian word I can't pronounce. But they make something mystical out of it when really, the way she described it, it took all the mysticism away and was very straight-forward, and physical.

Then she had us reach out and touch it. We spread our hands about shoulder length away from each other and slowly move them closer, eyes closed. At some point, the electrical fields overlap and you feel a change in pressure, heat, magnetism... whatever. People had different ways of describing it.

It was really eye-opening. I mean, I've felt spirits before, of people, demons, angels, and God. But it was on a spiritual level. When I put my hands together today, I felt like I was touching my spirit with my physical hands. Like I was crossing some sort of boundary.

Then she talked about how a massage therapist needs to be centered and relaxed in order to help their patient be centered and relaxed. So she taught us how to center ourselves and I think I needed that a lot. It would be very helpful for the days when I'm not all there in jujitsu and need to focus but can't.

Basically, its the same concept as something we do as a theater exercise, but with a different goal in mind, because obviously, theater has a different purpose than massage. But she told us to imagine a place where we are happy and content, with a warm radiating light above our heads, and go to that place whenever we need to center ourselves.

I went to a secret place from my high school years, some of the happiest years of my life. The sun was shining, filtering through tree leaves so it sparkled on my eyelids. And it was in the warmth of late spring. And my body was whole, healthy, pre-jujitsu injuries, during the time when I danced and ran track and walked horses for exercise. And no one was with me. No one could follow me, no one knew where I was. What's more... certain people did not exist. The past was not the past yet. There was no pain in my heart. So now... I can't wait for spring to come. So I can go home, and go on a sort of pilgrimage. I want to be there for real. I want to go visit that place, 'cause I miss it.

But anyway... bottom line is... that's what the teacher had us do... a mental exercise to get us focused. And I think from now on, when I'm struggling in jujitsu, I'm gonna try going there. I wanna see what happens when I do jujitsu in that place. Perhaps I'll go there so often that I won't have to work to get there anymore.

It will be interesting to see what develops from this.

Ok that's all. Beginner jujitsu class was today too. That was fun. But it was just practice for me today. It'll be good to go back to the basics to make sure I'm strong in all that stuff. Cool.

Goodnight.