jujitsu, massage, and scary things

This is mostly a jujitsu post. I went to the kids' class today. The kids tested for the next rank tonight, so I got to lead some of the students in a sort of larger role. Which was cool... and stressful. I hate getting things done within a certain amount of time. But it was a lot of fun. And Leah and Matt were promoted to orange and yellow belts, respectively. That was cool.

Then we went downstairs for the intermediate jujitsu class. Barb began the class with the announcement that today was the funeral for Butterfly Bob, the sensei from the dojo in Manhattan. Just like when Darlene died, Barb said something really profound. It was kind of an echo of that. With Darlene, Barb compared death to the ultimate sutemi, the ultimate giving in and allowing yourself to be promoted to the next level. With Bob, she mentioned something about judo. In a judo competition, if you throw all of your being into a throw and your opponent could not have hit the mat harder, the judge raises one arm and shouts, "ippon." I don't know much about judo. But that's a good thing for the competitor who does it. And so, Bob's wife at the funeral service had every martial artist do that, as a way of recognizing that he lived and died giving everything he had. So Barb had us do the same and have a moment of silence for him. It was... really interesting. Barb... sometimes exudes the presence of God. And today... I had this mental image of God as a mist... kind of trickling around the room, touching each person.

Afterwards, Barb asked Steve to finish the back massage he started... and then she came and cracked my back. I feel SOOO much better now. But I wasn't perfect yet, so Cara gave me another massage with tiger balm, and that was when I had the second interesting thing of the night happen. I had a sort of epiphany... but not really. I kept letting my mind wander so I wouldn't think about the pain of the knots in my back. And it kept wandering to the wrong things, things that would make me tense up. With Steve, he would catch me doing it, and give me a little shake, and say, "Relax." And I would. With Cara, the first time I tensed up, she sort of did the same thing, but her attitude about it was completely different. She was extremely gentle, and yet, assertive. Barb said once that jujitsu has no genders on the mat. Gentleness, which is traditionally a feminine trait, is required of every jujitsuka, and that assertion or... go-for-it-ness... is a traditionally masculine trait that is also required. There are other traits too, but those are the ones she mentioned. And today when Cara told me to relax, it was one of the first times I noticed both qualities at the same time in someone. Even the other black belts... often its one following the other... but I've never noticed the two occur simultaneously. Perhaps I wasn't looking for it, until today. When Cara said relax, it was in a way that said, "there's no possible way you are going to resist relaxation." But it wasn't a forceful statement... I can't explain it really, except possibly by bringing up another something that Barb taught once.

She said that when we do a technique, it needs to be with a soft mind. If you do it with a hard mind, your opponent will sense it and resist. If you use a soft mind, they won't know what's coming at them, and won't resist, so its like you're forcing them without using force. So... all that to explain what I felt was bundled up into just one word from Cara: "relax."

And really... I relaxed so much that she was able to take the knot, move it around on my back to where she needed it to go, and eventually make it go away completely.

And after that... I risked undoing it by watching "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" with some friends. I didn't undo the massage though, because I didn't watch most of the movie. Most of it was spent with my face buried in Steve's armpit. I'm not good with scary movies. Anyway... in a weird way, it was educational... from a spiritual point of view. I don't want to change my perspective on the night, because I learned a lot in other areas too, and horror is not exactly my favorite educational tool. But... yeah. Anyway. Perhaps if I need to I'll write more on the subject later.

For now, I need to shower and sleep. Goodnight.