Things I'm tired of.

1. Christianese. South Park, sadly, has done a great job of satirizing Christian music, by having several of the characters singing about how "Jesus touched me." Its creepy and sacrilegious in the context of South Park, but if you really think about the songs you sing every Sunday, many of them make no sense whatsoever to someone outside the clique.

2. Theater. It has ruined my enjoyment of life. The video and lighting is all off at church. The speakers are too loud, and I cringe every time someone at church gets the microphone, because I know they are going to pronounce "s" wrong. The s is really what bothers me. The lights, ok it would be nice to have nice ones that aren't clipped onto the basketball hoop. But that's not too big a deal, because the basketball hoop works, and our youth group doesn't use it. But if your s is not pronounced behind your teeth, if it ends up being pronounced more toward the top curve of your palate, its going to make a noise the microphone is not equipped to handle. And that last sentence, is why I hate theater. I should not be thinking about crap like that.

3. Sermons disguised as prayers. "Dear God, we thank you for this day and the opportunity to come before you in prayer. We thank you that *commence story from the speaker's life, then an explanation of the story's relevance, then a parallel connection that allows all listeners to relate* Amen." If you are going to talk to me, talk to me, in sermon form. If you are going to talk to God, does it make sense to preach at him? If you are that uncertain about your abilities to give an edifying, encouraging message to someone, simply because you are not the pastor, then perhaps you should not be speaking. If you have doubts about yourself and what you are saying, don't speak until you are sure, don't just disguise it as a prayer and hope someone gets the message.

4. People who confuse their syllables. Mr. President, "nuclear" is not pronounced "nuke-you-lar." And Mr. F, there is no possible way I can be an "intrigal" part of that effort.

5. Pet names for significant others that involve the word "poo." I don't think that one needs any explanation.