things you wish you could say out loud...

This happened today.

Customer: Can you tell me if you have gifts for a ten-year-old boy?
Me: Do you want fiction or non fiction?
Customer: Non-Fiction.
Me: Well, this is the teen section, we do have a section for kids 8 - 12 over there but it has a lot of fiction because kids that age have a hard time with non-fiction books. [pointing.]
[Customer doesn't move.]
Me: Were you looking for something other than a book?
Customer: I don't know...
[Continues looking at the Teen Fiction section.]

Geez, I can't do your shopping FOR you...

Same Customer: This song that is playing on the speakers, do you know who sings it?
Me: Don Moen.
Customer: But who is the group that sings it?

Uh, Don Moen's back-up band? I don't know, its not sung by a group, can't you hear it? Its one guy.

Same Customer AGAIN: And who is this artist that is singing now?
Me: Michael W. Smith
Customer: Do you have that album?
Me: No, but we have an album of various artists with that song on it, or we can order the Michael W. Smith album that contains that song for you.
[Looking at the album of various artists]
Customer: I don't know... it might not be right... what if its got the...
[Loooooong pause.]
Customer: Do you know what I mean?

NO, I don't know what you mean, because you didn't finish your sentence. Were you talking to me in your head? I'm not telepathic...

[Finally a different customer]
Customer: Hooo boy is it hot. This weather! Its just getting hotter and hotter, I just know its a sign. Jesus is coming back real soon! Days like these, when you know the New Jerusalem is coming, I call them "birthing pains."

I call them "summer."