Because sometimes English isn't good enough

Many of you know (but some do not) that I minored in Italian in college. Through a random series of events I discovered a blog written in Italian and bookmarked it to glance at later to see if I understood any of it. What I found shocked me. I had forgotten how beautiful the Italian language is. I think the best way to describe it is that its an ancient language that has changed very little from its original Latin, and therefore, it is best used to describe old things, old memories, old friendships... its a language for memories. In fact, it has four different verb tenses for the past tense. Anyway, I hope the blog author, "Hanomalia," will not mind if I do a very poor translation so that (I hope) my English readers can travel with me as I reminisce. This is not going to be a word for word translation, because I can't say in English what it means as I understand it.

E' stato un ricordo che mi ha invaso come i raggi caldi di sole che c'erano stamani. L'ombra, il caldo, l'ora non lo so precisamente ma eccolo lì intatto.

She speaks of a memory that has penetrated her like the hot rays of the sun. The shadow, the heat, the hour, something is triggering it, but she doesn't know exactly what.

Le estati dell'infanzia quando alla fine della scuola ci si ritrovava con un appuntamento muto tutti insieme dopo un inverno da soli in appartamenti con la luce artificiale e i compiti da fare

She remembers her childhood, and the end of school, after spending all spring alone with the artificial light and the homework.

Ma a giugno cominciava l'estate, l'estate in strada perchè non avevamo parchi al massimo avevamo i campi in cui correre ed io cominciavo a starnutire e mi infangavo e cadevo e rompevo sempre i pantaloni

But June is when summer starts. There were places to run and play and fall down and always rip her pants.

E quell'ombra degli alberi e guarda che passa il primo amore il giallo dei campi il verde della cicoria gli occhi del diavolo e gli occhi della madonna Son stata felice e stamani in quel ricordo son stata felice ancora.

Under the shadow of a tree, look to see her first love pass by, the yellow of the fields and the green of the "cicoria," (I think that's chicory?) the dandelions and the violets. "I was happy and in that memory I am still happy."

Sigh. It makes me so happy to read it in Italian. Its only ok in English. You all will just have to learn to speak Italian. I miss those carefree summer days too. Summer rainstorms, and sitting them out under the trees by the water, waiting for the first love to come calling, playing games, ripping my clothes and not noticing till later because we were having so much fun, shaking sand out of my hair and getting tan instead of burned. Did you ever notice that when you hit puberty, your skin changes along with all the rest of you? In the summers, I was extremely dark... you'd think I had some Italian or Greek blood in me, in the summer, but nope... none of my ancestors had Mediterranean blood. Somewhere, somehow, my young childhood skin managed to be that skin I envy now.

Anyway... basta... enough. I'm going to bed with these summer dreams. Buonanotte.

An eventful day, in twos.

"If its one step forward and two steps back, perhaps I should turn around."

Today (which is now yesterday, because I waited to post this), a lot happened. I did two good right side stimes, and two good left side stimes. I was thrown by two different guys, and kazushied by two different women. I drove to two different places, was headbutted by two different goats, and worked in two different gardens. I even took two showers.

So, an explanation of all that, I went to work today and Betty noticed that Ebony's goat-bra was falling off. I am not kidding you, just like people, some goats get big enough to need a bra to hold it all on. So I had to climb the fence to hold her still, and thats when Glinda thought it would be a good idea to sniff, eat, and butt the back of my knee. Why the back of my knee, I have no idea, but perhaps she was in cahoots with Magenta, who thought it would be awesome to scratch her head on my butt.

When I finished with the gardens for the day, I went to jujitsu and for some odd reason, I was focused and awesome. I was happy with a lot of the techniques I was doing, and in Barb's words, my stimes were "damn good." Which is an incredible, but pleasant, surprise. Especially on the right side, because so often I find my head grazing the mat (for you non-jujitsu people, that means I'm an inch or two away from a concussion or a neck compression). But she said I had good height going over (don't know what changed). The bridge falls... well, I did one semi poorly... it was halfway between a stime and a bridgefall. But the second one, I managed to get half a hop in, which was just enough to qualify me for a genuine bridgefall, and my feet moved together, which was better than I was hoping for.

The rest of practice was good as well. We touched on every list except Goshin, and at the end, Barb said that at the level of blue belt, we should be capable of leaving our crap off the mat, but bringing our entire selves and our entire focus onto the mat. When we get that and are confident in the way that we move and do things, then we will be acting as the green belts do. So for tonight... I had that green belt mentality, even before she mentioned it. But I wonder, what put it there? And how do I keep it there? Lately its been as random as the weather. I go one day and class sucks, my techniques suck, my mood sucks, the whole entire world sucks because when one thing sucks it snowballs and drags everything else with it. And then the very next class will be awesome. Its like my jujitsu life is manic-depressive. Its either very very good, or its very very bad. And there's no way to predict how to keep it going.

My mom says that a person's outward life is a reflection of what's going on inside, and that is why the living room table looks like it does. But if you look at my room, its cluttered, there's stuff in boxes everywhere, and stuff in the closet, and I have more clothes than I thought I had, and I don't have the umph to clean or give away stuff. I don't want to touch it. And then look at my dream life, I have had so many dreams that started when I moved back home, and they are all cluttered with stuff and events too. My jujitsu life is scattered and slightly manic-depressive, and that all makes me wonder how I'm doing emotionally. I think I've closed off the window to that area so I don't have to see it. It makes me wonder, if I clean my room will that give me the drive to go into my emotional room and fix things up? Or is it that my room and my jujitsu will struggle until I've clean up inside? Which comes first? Or is it that I'm just a scattered person and it has nothing to do with my emotions? Maybe nothing is connected at all, its just a coincidence that everything is getting all scattered at once.

Now I'm just letting my thoughts wander. I'll stop now.

today...

I went to the goat farm today and they all wanted food because I was pulling weeds and they could smell the weeds on my hands... then I went with my mom to check on our friends' dogs, and they smelled the goats and went crazy. Then I went to see Sister, who is living in a palace that the vet calls the Taj Mahal. But she's used to being outdoors so she's bored out of her mind. But the woman who is taking care of her has 6 cats, and they smelled the dogs. So basically my day was a bunch of animals smelling me.

We saw a mother bear and two cubs on the way up to Shoprite today. The guy who lived there was standing on his deck banging pots, so my mom helped him out by honking the horn. The cubs ran to a tree to climb it but the tree was too big so about 4 feet off the ground the first cub realized he couldn't go any further, and started looking around for mommy. It was funny. Didn't look comfortable.

The last comment for the day is this: I hate undefined pronouns. Example: "Jenny was chasing Forrest across the field and it was all she could do to keep up with him." It what? WHAT was all she could do?? Why is "IT" such a big secret? Why won't anyone tell me so that I, too, can keep up with Forrest?

Ok now I'm done.

3 accidents in 6 months...

On New Years, my mom's rear windshield was smashed by a Corona bottle. In February or March, my dad was rear-ended while driving my brother's car. This morning, my dad and brother hit a deer on the way to work. In my dad's precious Honda.

Let's hope its not contagious. There are no more cars in the family left to smash up, so hopefully, I don't have to be involved in any deer rear-ending.

In other news, somehow the town animal shelter heard Sister was pregnant and begged my mom not to abort them. Apparently they have a kitten waiting list. So, Sister is going to spend the next 9 weeks in a large animal shelter cage so she can give birth and nurse her kittens, and at the end of it all she will be spayed and when the stitches heal, she will be released back at our house where she can continue being a feral cat who is afraid of people. Hopefully the animal shelter people will make her a little more trusting of people. Mom doesn't think it will happen but oh well.

Anyway, here's hoping Sister eats enough to actually survive her inbred pregnancy. If the kittens even survive they will probably be of that three-eyed variety. Cool!

So...

My mom neglected to tell my dad that Sister is going to have kittens. Instead she called him at work and said "You're gonna be a grampa!" Now he looks at me funny.

Anyway, the latest update is that we have a sedated pregnant cat living in a birdcage on our porch. She's not healthy enough to survive a litter of kittens. Still it would be so much fun to have kittens again.

And in more animal news, my goats are doing well. If you didn't know or are a recent addition to my blog readers, I used to work at a goat farm, and have agreed to go back there one day a week. I used to help feed the goats and horses, muck stalls, and then keep the gardens weeded and planted. I also rebuilt a rock wall that had fallen down. The first few days I worked there, Dora escaped her pen as she was accustomed to doing and broke into her mother's pen to nurse. When she was full, she left mom's pen and came over to make sure I was planting the right plants. She was a runt, so the following year when I worked again, she was still only half grown. But now she's too big to break out of the pens and she's nursing her own. She looks beautiful, like a show goat. And amazingly, the horses, Danny and Sisco, are still alive. They are probably older than I am. Apparently, goat farms are the "Florida" of the retiring horse world. Boober is also doing well. Why do cats like to roll in gravel? I never did figure that out. It looks like it might be fun. Maybe I'll try it sometime to see what the big deal is.

I'm hungry. Bye.

Hicksville!!

I threw on an old pair of jeans today so I could go out and work in the garden. They are pants that I regularly wear to garden in, therefore, the knees are worn away. As in, completely gone. All the way to the seam. So... maybe I should just make shorts out of them. That way I won't have a sunburn on my knees only, my whole entire leg could be in agony. Great! I went inside and grabbed some scissors and just cut the excess material off my legs. Kinda uneven... oh well.

The rest of the day included making jokes about cut off jeans. The epitome of hick jokes went like this:

Me: Yeah sorry about this Mexican bean and rice thing, I don't normally put that much rice in it.
Mom: Do you normally put it on your hot dogs?
Me: Not really but I'm wearing cut off blue jeans, I figured I HAD to have a chili dog.


AAaannd since my dad has a new digital camera and I've finally figured out a system for putting pictures on blogger... Here's my dad trying to outdo my hick pictures.





Just kidding.

Simple math for stupid drivers

Since I am in my first year of unsupervised driving, I am one of the few New Jersey motorists who has actually read the most up-to-date driving manual, a handy little booklet that states the laws of the road, the breaking of which can lead to fines which are also stated in said booklet.

It is all very scientific and easy, yes, I did just use "scientific" and "easy" to describe the same subject.

Rule 1. Car A is stopped at a red light. Car B is stopped at a red light. Cars A and B lie on the same line, in the same plane, but are facing in exactly opposite directions. The lights change, and both cars proceed into the intersection. At this point the math looks like this: Car A = Car B. However, Car A intends to turn left while Car B intends to go straight. This means that according to the driving manual, Car B > Car A, and gets "right of way." Car A also intends to turn left without signaling said intentions. This means that Car A should drive off a cliff. (Car A = die, moron)

Rule 2. The posted speed limit is X mph. This does not mean you should drive at (X + 10) mph. This also means that I will be going at X mph. This also means that when you are driving behind me, your speed ≤ X mph. You can not drive through me due to the Pauli Exclusion Principle (thanks D.C.!), but that's more complicated math which most drivers I have shared the road with are too stupid to understand.

Rule 3. If I am driving X mph, you must stay a safe distance away from me. "Safe distance" can be properly defined as (X ÷ 10) car-lengths away (average car-length is about 13.12 feet). Because a car > 12 inches in length, 12 inches ≠ safe distance unless X = .76 mph. To quote a bumper sticker I once saw, "get off my rear unless you are a hemorrhoid." Although if you are marking up a $15,000 vehicle with a $3 tasteless bumper sticker that allows hemorrhoids to remain on your rear, you are probably also a stupid NJ driver.

Rule 4. Driving is not a thrill ride for me. In fact, its not even close. Therefore, I will not allow it to be a thrill ride for anyone driving behind me either. If you tailgate for 15 minutes straight and do not even think about passing even when you have several opportunities, I will feel no remorse at choosing to remain within the limits of the law and NOT driving at X + 10 mph.

I think thats enough math for the day. Perhaps I will add more rules as I feel led, but in case there are any "stupid NJ drivers" who happen to come across this on the internet, I will refrain from overwhelming them with rules explained by simple math.

Disclaimer: 3/4 of this blog post was about speed. I do not intend to suggest that people should drive like a geezer and hold up a lot of traffic, nor do I regularly do this, or drive slowly to incite road rage. Its been said that the "safest speed is the speed of traffic," and I try to keep (X ± my speed) balanced between the speed of traffic and the frequency of police cars in the town in which I am driving, so that my wallet ≠ 0,-0 (or wallet > 0, for those who are picky about mathematical correctness) and so that the number of points on my license = 0.

Alice in Wonderland meets the Matrix

I have just seen the coolest movie ever. The plot, without spoilers you will understand:

(see if you can identify a little of every movie genre)

"Even the five court ladies danced in sync to the frog's flutes and drums. The whirlwind of the recycled paper was a sight to see. It was like computer graphics! That I don't support Technicolor parfaits and snobby petit bourgeois is common knowledge in Oceania! Now is the time to return home to the blue sky! The confetti will dance around the shrine gates. The mailbox and the refrigerator will lead the way! Anyone who cares about expiration dates will not get in the way of the glory train! They need to fully realize the liver of the triangle rulers. Now, this festival was decided by the 3rd grade class with the telephoto camera."

A machine allows scientists to experience the dreams of their patients. But a psychopath gains access to the machine and forces people to dream even when they are awake. (sci-fi)


"You're a feisty country girl I saved some time ago. How are you? If he was not home when I passed by around 7:30 then he probably disappeared into the instant noodle soup."

A scientist and the dream image of herself work together to find out who is behind the crimes, and stop them. (mystery)


"The ecstasy that blooms in synapse is paprika-brand milk fat! Five percent is the norm. The safety net of the ocean is nonlinear, even with what crabs dream of."

She finds herself trapped in a dream, and rescued when one of her patients unlocks the secrets in his own dream. (Romance)


"The number you called for assisting young children is not available because of crowded tires in the Pacific Ocean starting at 7:63 AM."

Suddenly the dream world begins to break through into reality! (fantasy)


"Today's weather is dreamy, and will clear up after a sunny sunny sunny sunny sunny day. The dream I had yesterday and today. The happy and mundane world will vent their anger. The dreams will grow and grow. Let's grow the tree that blooms money. Its most valuable while its still a bud. That's right, so we shall preserve the memory forever. If there is no flower there will be no fruit. If there is nothing then I won't do anything. If you're unhappy, please put a vote in this eyeball. Who would give up this throne? I am the emperor..."

The dream characters are going to take over the world! (apocalyptic/ horror)


"The one I've been waiting for since historic times! Your flute's melody is a sound for sore neurons! A fragrant fat is a first class lunch! Well-rounded achievement is missing a spice."

Finally, something which I will not tell you happens, and there's a happily ever after ending with awesome techno music. (melodrama/ fairytale)

Kudos to the Japanese for reaching for the moon instead of the sandbox shovels.

aghhhh...

So I felt fine last night, but I woke up this morning with a pain and stiffness in my neck. I touched the offending spot to see what was the matter and *gasp* there was a tumor! After hearing Steve's voice in my head (and half a dozen other guys I know) saying in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, "Ees not a tumah," I convinced myself it was a swollen lymph node.

What?? After 23 years of allergies, ear infections, and sinus problems, my body has finally decided to swell a lymph node? Why now, body? You stupid.

Now it feels like an ear infection that somehow slipped down my eustachian tubes into my neck. Either that or someone moved my ear. One or the other. I keep doing the reflexology points for lymphatic cleansing, and the gland feels tingly when I do. But I can't spend my entire day rubbing my hands and feet. Time for the echinacea/goldenseal/vitamin c/ ginger/ garlic bombardment!

Uhh... hearing and swallowing hurts.

I just need to grumble... I'm ok I think. Back to planning dinner. Bye.

Thoughts...

I remember watching a movie once where the characters describe the taste of a pear, in depth (not just "it tastes fruity") and then commenting on it and other tastes in my blog.

I realized it has been a while since I have described the smell or taste of something, and have found the perfect item to describe.

Dhaval introduced us to an Indian treat called pan. Its basically a lot of sugar, spices, and peppermint, wrapped up in a semi-bitter leaf called a beetlenut leaf. How to describe the taste? Hmm... It has the same effect on the tongue that a Monet painting has on the eyes. Mixed with incense. Yeah, it is kind of like eating incense.

Anyway, Steve and I were invited to an Indian dinner and were told not to bring anything. Not to arrive empty-handed, we brought pan, and it was a great success, thanks to Dhaval's introduction to it.

Anyway, that's all I have to say for now. The water pump in the house broke Thursday night while I was in New Brunswick for jujitsu, so I'm staying down here until I know I have access to a hot shower up north. So that's what I've been up to.

Goodnight

Had to quote it...

Send this pestilent traitorous cow-hearted yeasty codpiece to the brig!
~Cap'n Jack Sparrow

I love it.

Fun or Funny...

Making fun of Paris Hilton. I have recently discovered that she is the same height as me (5'8") and yet she weighs 15-20 pounds less. People tell me I'm too thin, so she must be on the brink of death or something.

And the other thing is this: A farmhand is hired for 60 days and is provided with a cottage to live in for the duration of his work period. For each day that he works, he will be paid 6 units (of whatever our currency happens to be). For each day that he does not work, he will have to pay two units to cover the cost of accommodations while in the cottage. At the end of the 60 days, he has 144 units of currency. How many days did he work?

I have the answer, I just don't know how one would arrive at the answer, so if anyone out there is smarter than me, please help. Thanks :-)

tears

I came across some interesting stuff... I'm not in the best mood right now but the things I am finding are helping me.

This guy is writing about his travels and some of the things he is finding in the museums:

Psalm 56:8 "Put my tears into your bottle; are they not in your book?" As we toured the National museum in Tehran looking at history dating back 6,000 years. I was amazed to see some odd shaped bottles and read the information and heard the guide's explanation. When a husband went off to war the wife or loved one would weep their tears in a bottle, upon their return they would show how many tears they had cried, they were kept in a bottle. David cried to God "put my tears into your bottle". God knows your every pain, your grief. He knows every injustice, hurt, and feeling in you. He keeps your tears as your treasure of love. The hurting lover would hand to her beloved the bottle of tears - they spoke louder than the words ‘I love you'. Everything you've gone through in life for God is a treasure for Him whom you love - and He knows it.

This other woman (I think from India) is writing about pain (I added ellipses in places where I have shortened the passage to save time):

What is pain? Is it inevitable? Is it a corrective process? Or just something that happens with no special meaning, which one learns to sometimes live with? ...it seems to me that pain and sickness among other things, are part of a process that helps your mind and your psyche to expand. When you say "Yes" to life, you are basically saying yes to all that it wants to show you, to teach you. And then life shows you what it has to, in its own way. Sometimes the learning process involves joy and ecstasy, sometimes it involves pain and when you get down to a deep enough level you see that there is actually not much difference between the two. The only difference is in our reaction: we accept the one state and reject the other and the rejection more than anything else is what brings suffering.

...In some mysterious way, pain, when approached in the right way, opens up the mind and heart and you realise that there could not have been any other way to get to where it takes you.

Some questions regarding the learning process:

...When you reject pain what are you really rejecting?
Do physical and emotional pain mirror each other?
Isn't pain (at the emotional level) often a by product of having to face a new situation in life?
Isn't suffering a result of not being able to let go?
If I were able to let go of the past, of how it used to be, and of future images of how it ought to be, would I still suffer?
...

I cried when I read it because it struck a chord in me, but as I read it again, I realized she didn't answer any of those questions. But in the end it doesn't matter, as long as I know that there is someone out in the world who is asking those questions too.

Overall... I'm not sure why I hurt sometimes, or where the pain comes from. I just know that it comes on me suddenly, and then I don't know what to do with it.

This one is for NAVIN!!!

Watch for this scam. I don't know how many of you shop at Wal-marts, but this is how I became a victim of this scam.

Two seriously good looking well-built cowboy type guys come over to your car as you are loading your purchases. They are both shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and windex with their highly defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs. Its impossible not to look. When you offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another store. You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so he can make love to you! While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!!!

I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow.

(This came to me in an email so if anyone wants it in email form let me know and I'll send it to you.)

random question

Why is it that on the box of... feminine products... the "y" and the "r" are italicised? Are we supposed to say pant-Y lin-ERs?

Don't have much time...

Very quickly, I just have to tell this story.

I was listening to the radio, and hit the button for the Christian station to see what was there. A preacher was just starting his sermon. Here's how he started it:

"There were three newlywed men. They all decided that they were going to rule their new households. The first guy told his new wife, a pretty girl from Georgia, that she would be expected to have the dishes cleaned and put away by the time he got home from work. The first and second days, he did not see much improvement because she was still getting the hang of things, but by the third day, she had it down and the dishes were finished just like he'd asked.

The second guy had a wife from Oklahoma. He told her he wanted the dishes cleaned and put away, but also that he wanted dinner to be on the table by the time he got home from work. Like the first guy, he didn't see anything the first and second days, but by the third day, his wife had the dishes cleaned and dinner ready on the table.

The third guy took everything a step further. He married a Jersey girl, and told her he wanted the dishes cleaned and put away, every meal he ate at home would be hot and on the table when he walked in, and any time the lawn needed mowing, it would be done by the time he got home from work. Things went just like you might expect: the first day, he didn't see anything, the second day, he didn't see anything, but by the third day, the swelling had gone down a little and he was finally able to find the dirty dishes himself.

The preacher went on and somehow tied it into his sermon but I have no idea what the connection was because Stave and I were laughing so hard.

Ok that's all. I have to run, we move out officially tomorrow. Bye.

I should be sleeping...

I've been packing all day and can't breathe because of my allergies to the dust in my bedroom, so I am at Steve's for the night. I should not be up late, because I have another day of packing and cleaning, plus jujitsu tomorrow. However, I am. I can't help but think long into the night.

The other day I overheard something I have not heard in a long time. It was something Janis Joplin once sang, "Freedom's just another word for 'nothing left to lose.'" For some reason, the phrase keeps turning over in my head. I have nothing left to lose in New Brunswick. I have my degree, and the further education I will eventually want is not offered at Rutgers. Jujitsu is here, but I'm not tied to it anymore in my heart. I've quit my job, and have lost my connections to the theaters here. My roommates are moving, and some of the friends I still have here in New Brunswick cause too much trouble for me to stick around. There are some good people here, I will admit, but good friends don't count because you will never lose them, so I really do have nothing left here to lose.

Somehow though, this move doesn't feel like freedom to me. But the phrase is "freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." So maybe freedom feels just like any other feeling. Maybe its not as special as people try to make it.

Maybe I'm just saying that to convince myself that moving back into the home nest is not going to be a reverse in my independence.

Last night I longed to be away from X and Y in my life. Leaving X and Y in New Brunswick will probably be some of the best things for me... and for some of my other relationships.

Maybe then I'll be free.

meh

I was dumb and broke my computer so you'll be seeing less of me around until I find someone who has a boot disk for Windows XP. It shouldn't be too hard... I'm just busy with packing and everything.

Jujitsu sucked today. I only went cause I had nothing better to do and because I don't work, I'm not tired so I couldn't even sleep through it. I don't really even want to elaborate cause it was stupid.

Thats all. I'm still more or less in a good mood, its just that I find myself getting really testy inside with certain people, moreso than usual. Still the same actor's face outside though. I think.

Thats it.

rant...

Ok I just happened across an article about transgender people struggling to find jobs with fair bosses who won't discriminate... I'm not even going to state my opinion on whether changing your gender is right or not. All I have to say here is, if you are going to pay the money to have a bunch of operations to change your gender, you had better make sure your surgeons do a good job. Some of the pictures the article contained were not ugly they were just plain hideous. Those bosses are not discriminating based on your gender or change thereof... they are not hiring you because they don't want to imagine 40 hours a week of having to look at the horrible job your facial reconstruction surgeon did.

I suppose this sounds a bit harsh, but I'm not in a good mood, and it has to come out somewhere. Somehow, when you mess with nature, the end result is not as beautiful. Even in a surgery that keeps to the born gender of the person, as in face lifts and nose jobs, the end result looks like you are made of plastic. Keep your ugly face people, your beautiful one is not as cool.

Ok thats all.

No its not. Why the heck do you have to talk so darn loud AT us? Why can't you talk TO us?? How do you keep your friends around when you are that annoying??

Ok now thats all.

I FORGOT!

I forgot to post this... I thought it was hilarious. I got it in an email of crazy things on church welcome signs.

Here's to puberty...

First, if you don't know what Medieval Times is, click the link below.

So, Steve and I went to Medieval Times with my brother. Its Dan's birth-month so he gets in free with two paying adults. We upgraded to Royalty which was cool. We ended up in the front row.

I just have to write two funny incidents. The first was when the King and Princess were giving the toast. "Here's to Love! Here's to Honor! Here's to Chivalry!" On chivalry his voice rose about four octaves and 20 decibels. We didn't hear the rest of the toast because we were laughing too hard and toasting Puberty instead.

The other funny incident, ok I lied about how many funny incidents there were. One of the other funny incidents was the falcon. At every show the falconer demonstrates how his bird can fly. On this one, I guess the bird was really concentrating on killing that dead piece of meat the guy was swinging around because it forgot not to poop.

At a certain point in the show, they also have the King's Chancellor (or MC) announce all the birthdays, anniversaries, first communions and elevations to knighthood. Here's what he said: "Congratulations to Sammy Caldwell, who is celebrating his 11th birthday, also Jenna Ruiz is here for her 21st birthday, and John Campbell who is here with the guys celebrating their bachelor party. Good lord, man, what are you doing HERE??"

So anyway, this is the third time I've been there. The first time I rooted for the Green Knight, the second for the Red-and-Yellow Knight, and this time for the Red Knight. My knight never wins. In fact, this time, my knight was kin to the evil traitor dude who killed the prince. Granted, I don't actually pick them, the sections are more or less assigned. But still... I'm starting to think its me. If it weren't prechoreographed I'd think I was bad luck to the knights.

Speaking of prechoreographed, the Red Knight was the best fighter. He made it look real. The other ones just looked like they were taking a dive when they were supposed to. The Red Knight actually attacked. I guess, in jujitsu terms, it would be "intent." The Red Knight had intent.

Anyway... it was fun. I think it would be fun to work there, if only so I could respond to the "what are you doing now that you have graduated?" question with, "I'm a serving wench in a castle." Take that, bachelor's degree.

Ok I am working in the morning, so I have to go to bed. 'Night all!

Jujitsu pictures, attempt #2

Lets see how many pictures I can upload before Blogger freaks out. Or before I freak out.

We got to the aiport and the flight was delayed an hour because the plane going from South America to Newark and then from Newark to San Francisco was not only delayed but also had to be sanitized. During the wait, some guy was talking to us, wishing he were still a student so he could go on sports club trips. We compared reading material.


Then we decided to try sticky hands. We got some stares and quick, furtive glances in our direction.


We visited the city of San Francisco before the convention began. There's Alcatraz, the guys posing, and Dhaval in front of Macy's, which was having an "India sale."



This is the Palace of Fine Arts, built in 1915(?) for some sort of Exhibition, similar to the World's Fair I believe. Its made out of concrete, so it is deteriorating faster than its ancient Greek counterparts. But it is gorgeous just the same.


Not far from there is some red bridge... I dunno. We walked across it. We looked over the edge (most of us).


We also sat in the hotel lobby, which was very exciting.


Some downtime between classes.


This is Dan competing. I love how beautifully I captured Neo's- I mean- DAN'S speed. Actually its just 'cause I was using Kodak 100 instead of Kodak 200.


The awards banquet Saturday night.


Past and present winners. And matching my hair to Steve's shirt.


Leaving the hotel, we got on the shuttle to the airport and then realized that some pilots got on as well, pilots who might very well be taking us back to NJ. Therefore, we gave up our seats and crammed 7 people into the back of the bus. Nothing like a little invasion of personal space, jujitsu style.


And that's about it. Uploading photos to blogger is a pain. I don't think I am going to do it ever again, unless I find myself horribly disabled in such a way that I must remain immobile for long periods of time, which is the case right now.

kleeeeeeekkkkkkk

its awful having alcoholism running wild in the family and always being afraid that you'll fall into it too. its awful that the only time you know its safe for you to have a drink is when you aren't interested in having a drink. its awful that the times you want to drown something are the times that you know you must absolutely not go near it.

PICTURES

So, I took some pictures while in San Francisco, and also some pictures of the big flood we had recently. Since a lot of my pictures will probably end up HERE, I figured I'd post some that won't.

In the next few days, I'll probably put up some of the more memorable San Francisco pictures, just cause I like'em, but for now I'll talk about the flood, for those of you who don't live in New Brunswick and had no idea what I was talking about two weeks ago.

The first picture is pointing south down Rt 18, from approximately the middle of the entrance ramp from Commercial Ave. Its about 5 blocks from my house. I guess it goes without saying that the construction project was on hold for that day.

The next photo is mostly just humorous. I got a good kick out of it, anyway. The Exxon station was moved a block south so that they could tear down the old one and put a giant on-ramp/pedestrian walkway on top of the site. There were cones and barrels set up to make the Exxon basically a Nascar-style pit stop, and not much else. You pull over, get gas, and drive away. Not much of a parking lot to speak of. But in this case, I guess you just paddle over, get gas, and sail away.

This last picture (its got to be the last because I don't like how blogger has their "upload picture" function set up) is from the park behind the river dorms, which usually looks out onto, in order, Rt 18, a channel for Raritan River overflow water, a group of trees growing on the bank of the Raritan, the river itself, and waaaaaaay in the distance, Johnson Park (whose usefulness is usually ranked at the status "below sea level"). What you see in this picture is the Raritan, snuggled all the way up against Rt. 18. No overflow channel, just one big river.

There now. I hope that was occupying and interesting enough. Everyone in New Brunswick and jujitsu people are now asking why I'm describing common things in great detail but I figure I talk about New Brunswick and Jujitsu all the time as if people like Michigan Dan and KarenKool know what in the blazes I'm talking about. But chances are good that they don't so I figure for once maybe I could cater to their meghan's-blog-needs and explain a little.

And that about finishes things up for the night. Surprisingly, its 11:14 and I'm about ready to go to bed. G'night all.

a real glimpse inside...

I can't sleep... its 4 am and I am supposed to go to church at 10 tomorrow. I'm miserable. I can't help feeling like I've screwed up my relationships. I lie there and wonder. At the very beginning, I tried to put God at the steering wheel of all my relationships. I turned away a really sweet boy because I thought I heard God saying no, he was meant for someone else, not me. I was meant for someone else, not him. I tried to listen to God in every decision I made regarding my heart, who I allow myself to love. But somewhere along the line, I think my voice got mixed into the chaos. I can't remember what God's voice sounds like. I can't remember if He approved of the guys I've dated, or the one I'm with.

A friend of mine told me once her parents offered to arrange a marriage for her (her culture accepts the practice) and she turned them down adamantly because she wanted to decide who she would marry. I'm not a history major, but I am also not an idiot when it comes to history. I know that a lot of marriages sealed alliances between houses, or countries. Marrying for love was only a recent thing. Why should I bother with relationships when thousands of women years ago just got married when they had to? They didn't need love in order to be happy and have children and comfort their husbands when things were hard.

I once thought the reason I haven't been happy in a long time was the fault of someone in particular. But I've been pushing the blame on someone else. I'm the reason I haven't been happy in a long time. I have not been true to myself. I have not been listening to God but I have not been asking God, because somehow, I managed to convince myself that God wasn't enough. That there was so much more out there.

I told myself once that no matter what happened, no matter how much I burned myself, that I would never regret the things I did because there's still something beautiful in the burning, in the experience, in the learning and growing and even making memories from it. But right now... I almost ALMOST regretted not rekindling the first fire because it meant the second and third would not have happened. But then I thought about what my life would be like with that first fire warming me, and I felt so cold and alone, and kicked myself for coming so close to regret.

But still, I can talk and ramble all I want here and it won't change the fact that going to church doesn't help me hear God's voice any more than it helps me hear the tooth fairy. Somewhere, deep down inside, there's a shred of me that still holds fast to the old days. The days when I visited heaven in my dreams, and walked with angels, and heard God telling me when and where and what to pray for. But surrounding that shred, are a hundred thousand sides of me that can't remember God's voice, that doesn't know if He exists, that has despaired so long it no longer cares.

How I miss the old days.

random thought

People spend so much time complaining about how they can't stand country music, but then they turn on the popular hits station and sing along to people like Tim McGraw, Sheryl Crowe, and Leanne Rimes. Hellooooo? Country musicians...

weird mood

I'm having a strange day... I feel simultaneously happy and melancholy.

I woke up and went to pick up my film, then wandered around because I didn't feel like going home on my day off and doing nothing there. I figure its better to do nothing in a new exciting location than at home. I walked down Easton Ave and picked up some bubble tea and met Steve at the hospital as he got off work. He thought I was extra cheerful, which is unusual on a Thursday, with all my confusion and frustration about jujitsu.

But today the kid's class was testing for their next belts levels, and Ben in the adult class would be testing after that. Maybe it was the anticipation of seeing these kids test after they've worked so hard. My group had three that got new stripes on their belts, which was exciting.

Ben tested too and passed, so congrats to him. Or I guess I should say Bengee, which is the name he has given himself to differentiate him from the other Ben. Jujitsu on my end, while he was testing was frustrating. I can't seem to take falls anymore without getting a pounding headache. At first I thought it was a fluke thing but now its every week... every time I fall, it gets worse. I'm not doing anything that I can think of that could be causing it. My head is staying off the mat, and I'm not getting that whiplash feeling... I thought it was dehydration one week but I'm not dehydrated EVERY week.

And then when Ben's test was over and we started working with a black belt on stuff, I got a little distracted and unfocused. I started thinking about Barb saying that everything you do on the mat should be done like your life depends on it, even walking and sitting. I wondered if she would say the same thing to someone who didn't really value their life that much. Then I kind of snapped back into focus, and wished for a second that I could be somewhere else. Matt started doing Tenada Jime on me, and when he was sitting on my stomach, I felt a bad twinge in my sacrum again. It was almost the last straw. When I stood up again my head was pounding and my sacrum twinging, and I got angry. I told my head, and my sacrum, "you know what, I no longer care if you are hurting. I'm doing jujitsu right now and for some odd reason, I want to do this better than so-and-so can do it, and there's no time to do that and simultaneously make you two stop hurting so you know what, I'm just not listening anymore so shut the heck up." They didn't, but I felt better about telling them off. And I think a couple of my techniques improved, or at least the body memory came back a bit.

My head is still sore from getting kicked Sunday so maybe that's a part of it. Or maybe that's the reason I have so many opposite emotions inside. When jujitsu was over, I kinda got melancholy again, but then when I was walking to the student center with everyone Steve commented that I was still so cheerful, even after jujitsu when I could have been really exhausted or something.

Anyway... I should go to bed soon. I got sheets for my college dorm beds- they told us to get twin longs instead of twin regular but they never fit. I'm still using the same sheets and they still don't fit because my matress is not a twin long. So I got tired of them coming off in the night so I went out and got some new ones (took me long enough). I opened the package and they were so soft and ripply. I took another look at the package, and lo and behold the sheets are not made out of cotton, or satin, or flannel, or any of the usual bedsheet material. They are made out of bamboo fibers woven together. Amazing! I didn't know they did that with bamboo. It makes me want to buy lots of bamboo clothes because it is so soft.

Anyway, I'm gonna go try out my new bamboo bedsheets. G'night!

not even in the mood to cry.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of talking to walls, things were more interesting when I was the fly listening in. Maybe I should give up. Maybe its time to go back and be the wallflower girl whose friends have no idea what's going on in her life because she puts herself down on paper instead of the internet.

Social interactions can be so hard sometimes. Why anyone even deals with the hassle is beyond me. Its like driving in NJ. I haven't gotten my license because the hassle of taking the bus everywhere is less than the hassle of trying to predict which idiot is going to cut you off or run a red or rear end you out of nowhere and drive away. I simply don't want to deal with it. And for a long time I didn't deal with the crap that comes out of social interactions either.

Ironic that this happened now, since I just watched the movie Crash tonight. Its a movie that combines car accidents with a bunch of people who, socially have no tact whatsoever, or downright disrespect. Funny how they are two things I just don't want to deal with. Cars and opening yourself up to another human being who has the power to make you feel important, or the power to turn everything around, and make them the one with the problem instead of you.

I hate dealing with it. I hate putting up with crap I don't want to do. I hate growing up, and I hate realizing things about myself that should not be so. I hate change.

more randomness...

I wish musicians would enunciate their words when they sing. I am listening to a Casting Crowns song (Christian worship) and could swear I just heard "he slips quietly into a bathrobe." There's also a Michael W. Smith song that is half in Latin and half in English but the English pronunciation is so bad you can't tell which is which. And its not just Christian music either. There's a popular hiphop song whose artist I have forgotten but the words not only make no sense but they are barely intelligible anyway. And those songs that involve spelling out the word you are trying to say... wow. Just wow. Don't get me wrong, Garth Brooks has proven its possible to do it and sound good (example: "B-double E-double R-U-N"). But sometimes... especially when you are spelling complicated things like "G-u-y-s-a-r-e-m-o-r-e-t-r-o-u-b-l-e-t-h-a-n-a-r-a-c-o-o-n
-o-n-a-g-a-r-b-a-g-e-n-i-g-h-t."

It gets to be hard to follow.

Yard sales are evil. I just spent (some) money at the one down the street from Steve's place. I now have to make at least 5 home cappucinos for friends in order for the home espresso machine to be worth while. I guess that would be pretty simple. And you can do other stuff like chai and hot chocolate so I guess that's cool.

And I bought the recipe for "perfume that smells like flowery medicine" from two ten year olds. In my day it was koolaid and iced tea, but I guess the ten-year-olds around here are smart enough for perfume. Funny, it has the same ingredients I used in my Death Soup when I was that age. Minus the yew berries. Which made for the "death" part. Ironically when I got to college I discovered the actual reason yew berries are the key ingredient in Death Soup: the seeds in the yew berry contain a toxin that induces cardiac arrest. Lucky for me I stuck with selling koolaid and left the Death Soup in the back room just for kicks.

One of the ingredients on the recipe I bought included "the flowers that smell like fish." Funny cause I immediately knew which ones she was talking about.

I went to church today and Steve very ungracefully fell on top of one of my jujitsu kids. That was... well there's no good adjective. Lets stick with "memorable."

I wasn't in much of a good mood yesterday or today. Well, last night, into today. But I think once I ate lunch, I felt better. I don't know. Maybe I'll still go take a nap and try to start the day over. Despite the beauty of today.

Jujitsu tonight. I guess I'll talk about that after it happens. If there's anything to talk about.

puzzled...

At first glance, the quarter I found today appears to be counterfeit. It feels too light to be a 1967 quarter, and appears to be two sides of a quarter (no mint mark) sandwiching some sort of fake quarter. But it could also be that it is simply very beat up. Then I looked up the quarters on a website and found that 1965-1967 quarters did not have mint marks because of the transition from silver to the copper-nickel alloy.

I am thinking about all the chemistry experiments I have observed in which a coin combined with such-and-such chemical burns a certain color because of the metal the coin is made of. I also know that to mint the coins purely, there's some sort of chemical that when electricity is passed through it, causes the metal to release any impurities or something like that.

I am wondering (because I don't know anything about chemistry) if it is possible that someone tried to extract one of the metals and leave the other. And if they did, did they profit from this stolen metal? And wouldn't that destroy the appearance of the quarter beyond recognition?

Yeah... maybe its just counterfeit.

PS... In one moment, a customer gave me a tip that nearly doubled my total for the day. That was interesting. I felt like a pole dancer. Just kidding...

country music...

So I love country music. Most of you probably know that about me already but just in case you didn't, there it is.

Sometimes its a problem for me... on those days when I'm feeling especially down, it seems the only thing the radio plays are references to alcohol:

Alcohol, Alcohol of Fame, Ten Rounds of Jose Cuervo, Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, Straight Tequila Night, Two Pina Coladas, and of course, Its Five O'Clock Somewhere.

But today, while the east coast is being bombarded with an 800 mile wide storm, and both my city and my county are issuing flood warnings, the radio station is only playing songs with references to the elements:

Come On Rain, Raining on Sunday, Seminole Wind, Kerosene, The Thunder Rolls, Every Time That It Rains, Georgia Rain...

Ok I'll admit Kerosene was a stretch but the music video was awesome and fire is a wild element... and yes, something did catch on fire in the video. Very cool.

Ok I really have nothing much to say here. The rain is saying it for me. The weather can be pretty expressive sometimes. Cool. K I'll go now.

cool little thing...

I put this somewhere else, but I thought I'd share it with you all too. Its fun. And more interesting than the vent I could put in here about my day at work today.

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool!
7. I added this one myself- make comments on how well they fit… cause I'm like that and love to explain things…

MY LIFE AS A MELODRAMA

Opening Credits: Sign From the Hills by Maire Brennan
Ok, I guess that fits as an opener.

First Day At School: If I Had The Things I Wanted by Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band
Young, innocent dreaming, guy singing to his girl about castles and flying horses. I think it fits.

Fight Song: To Where You Are by Josh Groban
Nope… he's singing about someone who's dead and in heaven. Doesn't fit. Unless they died in a fight.

Breaking Up: Oh Holy Night by Pavarotti
HAHAHAHA.

Prom: Molloy's Favorite and the Earl's Chair by Mick Moloney
SOMEONE's prom music, but not traditional American prom… its an Irish jig.

Life: Dajcovo Horo by Unknown.
Its an Eastern European Folk Dance, fitting to describe my life because my heart is in dance, but at the same time its really fast paced like life and hard to keep up with, but the steps are mostly simple so when you don't quite get it you just feel stupid. Like life.

Mental: Auf Geht's Und Geht by Unknown. (from an album I bought in Austria of German volksmusik)
Another instruMENTAL. Humph guess that fits haha. Badum-tschhhhhh.

Driving: Man of Constant Sorrows by John Hatrford
Instrumental, I really have to cut those out of my playlist. But yeah when I'm driving I do feel constant sorrow that I am driving and not doing something more fun.

Flashback: From the Chicago Soundtrack
It's a historical play… so the music does kinda take you back.

Getting Back Together: Something in the Way by Nirvana
Weird song… but could be appropriate.

Wedding: Lonesome Valley by the Fairfield Four
HAHAHA yes it is lol.

Birth of Child: Announcing Roxy Hart and Velma Kelly From the Chicago Soundtrack
About how to live your life… don't want these new stars giving my baby advice haha.

Final Battle: I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In from the album Jazz on Christmas Eve
Yep… doesn't say what kinda ships.

Death Scene: One Day I'll Fly Away by Nicole Kidman (From Moulin Rouge)
If I remember correctly, that IS her death scene.

Funeral Song: Canyon Breeze by Paul Horn (Native American music)
Nope its too pretty. And I gotta do something about this lyric-less music.

Remembrance Song: Get On by Third Day
Hmm… what a way to remember someone. Get on get away from me, you're trying to bring me down…

End Credits: Peaches by the Presidents of the United States of America
That fits. Nice random way to end things. Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches… peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man… millions of peaches, peaches for me

Thankfully, that is not the way they pick the music for most movies. Although sometimes its hard to tell.

interesting

I keep finding interesting internet articles.

"And as research in the wild becomes more and more forensic, even animals we counted in our small alliance for fidelity have recently been proved fallible. Swans, that elegant emblem of faithfulness, glided away from the hallowed statistical minority; it has come to light that they cheat and divorce too. Red-winged blackbird couples thought to be devoted surprised scientists that had given vasectomies to the males for population control; the females kept laying eggs that hatched. Somewhere, there's a blackbird Holiday Inn with a discreet parking lot."

LOL.

groan...

I couldn't resist...

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant, and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

Badum-tchshhh...

Today...

... not really an exciting post.

I made a 7-shot latte today. It took a while, but I didn't mind because the last time he came in and ordered it, he left a $5 tip.

I found a silver quarter. That was exciting.

I had an awkward convo with my mom. What was in my head wasn't coming out my mouth so I ended up feeling like a bragging slut when I later reviewed in my head what I said.

I ran into someone I haven't seen in years. She seemed to be like me. Happy outside, something disturbing inside. Only I knew her well enough before we fell out of contact that I knew right away that she had carefully wrapped herself in a shroud of secrecy, whereas, I won't hide the fact that I have secrets. I just won't tell them to you. I'm so glad I got to see her again, but so off balance now, because I guess this is it- I'm worried about her.

Ok that's it. I think getting it off my chest makes me less off balance.

More randomness

Espresso sometimes smells like smoked whiting.

I had a what if situation for Scott but I forgot it. It involved someone getting tripped. Darn.

He is a smoker. Oh well.

I went to the police station today. The officer who called to say they found my three-years-missing bike was the kind of guy my mom would have talked about later. Given the choice, if she could choose a match for her daughter, there is one type of "look" she would choose. Its scary cause Scott fits those requirements too except for the ring on his finger. I guess she has good taste. I am just not as picky I suppose.

I am not using apostrophes because this keyboard thinks the apostrophe key is actually control+f and the computer puts up a find window instead of an apostrophe. Its annoying.

I closed by myself today, which gave me a lot of time to reflect on things. The mall was dead today so it also gave the guys in Shoes time to come flirt with- I mean BUG- me. So in my moments alone I started thinking about the Jean Grey comments. Do guys idolize Jean Grey? I mean, is it a compliment or not? Cause I didnt like her that much in the third movie. Dont get me wrong, I love the concept of a Phoenix. But too much went wrong because of her. From the point of view of the other X-men, she was a downright nuisance. Any guys out there reading this? Should I be offended when the guys in the shoe department call me Jean?

Its almost 1 am and I just got a text message from my mom. Shes delusional.

I am reading a novel, A Game of Thrones. Its a medieval kinda thing, telling the story of this kingdom where- you guessed it- everyone is trying to play the game of thrones without dying. Instead of the hack, slice, and dice of some medieval novels, and instead of the magic and dragons of other medieval novels, its political. Unusual for me to enjoy, since I hate politics in general, but it is kind of eye-opening. I mean, everyone complains about our president or the president-wannabes who are going to be running next year but if they could see what goes on in this throne room, there would be no comparison. It makes me feel like everyone in this world is just whining too much when things could be as bad as they are in this medieval world.

Mom just sent me another text message. "Guy crotches are good!" I swear, some day she is going to learn that stuff can be taken out of context. (In case anyone was wondering, she was talking about a pair of pants.)

Alright bedtime before mom goes over our texting limit on the phone plan.

National ICantConcentrateToday Day

Espresso grinds smell like morning breath. Or maybe the two smells just hit my nose at the same time every morning so now I can't smell one without thinking of the other.

Henna is derived from the leaf of the henna plant, therefore it smells leafy. This is increased by water, so when I take a shower, my hair smells like the feed room at the goat farm where I used to work.

Today I used Herbal Essence on my hair, the old kind, not the post-bottle-change. So it also brought back memories of spring time, and cleaning the house with my mom, and sunshine in the fall, bike helmets, and cozy blankets.

The wrestling room at the gym smells faintly like battleships. Not that battleship-dieselly-paint smell like the elevator of my freshman dorm, but the smell of men working their bodies to the limit for something they believe in.

Steve smells like french fries.

There actually is an explanation for why I'm exploring the world in smells.

Today I went to waltz lessons. The instructor was explaining how to turn in the dance. As you step, you don't just move your feet, but you turn from the hips, letting your hips send your body where it needs to go, and face in the direction it needs to face.

Anyone with even a couple classes of jujitsu will think that sounds familiar, so that got me thinking about jujitsu and how it seems that everything is integrated when it comes to moving the body. Letting my mind wander to jujitsu effectively got me completely lost when it comes to waltz. I couldn't remember which steps we were doing in which order. Was it box step then travel then quarter turn? Or was it just the quarter turns followed by a direction change? I didn't even know which foot we were starting on.

That's ok, I can solve that. Jujitsu has taught me that people telegraph their future intent, whether its winding up an arm for a punch or simply leaning more weight on one foot than the other. So all I have to do is look at my partner to see what he's about to do and step accordingly. Ok that works I've stepped on the correct foot, but I'm so excited about integrating jujitsu into this that I'm not really learning the answers to my initial questions.

The whole class was a big snowball of not paying attention. The instructor demonstrates his points sometimes and needs a partner to do it, so he'll randomly select a girl to help him. Once he picked me and since I had no idea what we were doing, I stepped on the wrong foot. He readjusted his hand position, and suddenly, it didn't matter one bit what I did, his hands and arms provided enough weight on the correct side that I HAD to step on the correct foot. It was like some of our jujitsu moves where we want our partner to step back on their left foot so we push their left shoulder while holding their right arm stationary. We don't do anything to the left foot, but we still acheive our goal. This was just like that- he was shifting my weight for me so that the foot he wanted me to have free would be free.

Then I felt bad, one that I wasn't paying attention to him and two that it forced him to do my work in addition to his.

Thankfully that class is fairly short so it was off to the wrestling room for jujitsu. When Scott was explaining to the white belts how we can tell where to stand when we're lining up by rank, he used Dan and me as an example. "You'll notice they both have blue belts with one stripe, but Red tested before Dan."

I think I like Jean Grey better. Scott's other comment was that I did it just in time for Saint Patrick's Day, which is a good point. I should find an Irish pub somewhere.

Back to jujitsu, Steve took the colored belts and Scott took the white belts. Steve had us work on foot work, practicing turning 90 and 180 degrees, and looky there its a 1-2-3 step just like a waltz.

By that time I was pretty fed up with my brain because it wouldn't stay in one place, ideally the wrestling room in the College Ave Gym but if not there it could at least have picked ONE place to go. But when Steve asked me later what was wrong, I listed all the places my mind had gone. The list started on Louis Street and didn't come to a complete stop until we got to Livingston, which would be maybe 3-4 minutes.

Anyway, I'm usually not that unfocused on the mat. I don't know what happened today. Oh right, so the reason for the smells was because when I got fed up I sat out on the side of the mat and let my mind go. For some reason when I did that, I could feel my body more strongly, could feel where my aches and pains are, could hear all the voices in the room louder, and the red of the mats got brighter. But my nose was stuffy so I didn't smell anything. It felt vacant somehow, so I decided to sit here and think about all the smells I have come in contact with recently.

So yeah that's all I suppose. I'm gonna go chat with Steve for a while. Goodnight.

Photos...

Ok, so unfortunately, I can't find a good before picture with my hair down. Some were taken recently, however my hair was tied up in a clip. You will all have to just rely on memory.

Here are the after pictures:

HAHAHAHA

So I came across one of those websites that tells you anything you want to know about the Chinese zodiac. For those of you who don't know, yesterday was the "Pan-Asian Lunar New Year," as one politically correct flyer called it. I say Chinese New Year. Its easier. And majority rules.

Anyway, quick explanation for those of you who don't know. There are 12 animals of the zodiac representing the years in which you are born. I was born in the Year of the Rat, that makes me a Rat. Works just like the whole Cancer, Virgo, Saggitarius zodiac, except that we can all pronounce them (amazing for something coming from Asia). Every New Year, they produce horoscopes based on how your animal is supposed to fare during this year (the Fire Pig).

Curiosity killed the cat, so I clicked on the rat. In my case however, the cat died of laughter. "Rat Careers: Work life should proceed relatively smoothly. Merchants, bankers and salespeople could have a banner year." Smooth!! Hahahaha. That's hilarious. I'm probably quitting my job in the next month. Smooth enough for you?

The other comments were Rat Health and Rat Relationships. Apparently, Rats are supposed to be a bit run down this year, and a passionate romance might be non-committally stimulated. Heck that kinda describes every year of my life since junior year in high school, so maybe we're all just stuck in the Year of the Fire Pig without realizing it.

Funny cause I've been sniffling my nose all day, not because my body is burned out but because I'm allergic to pollen and we currently have 6 Valentine's bouquets in the living room. Woohoo, poor health and relationships joined as one already!

Don't over-exert yourself...

It's ok. You don't even have to try to hide it anymore. Don't bother pretending unless you're an excellent actor.

And don't hug me for the sake of hugging me. I'm not a chore. If you don't want to don't.

Right now, it doesn't have any meaning the way you are doing it.

Sorry for the language...

...but its the name of the town.

Germans Not Amused

British tourists have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constantly stealing the signs for their oddly named village.

While British visitors are finding it hilarious, the residents of Fucking are failing to see the funny side.

Only one kind of criminal ever stalks the sleepy 32-house village near Salzburg on the German border- cheeky British tourists armed with a sense of humor and a screwdriver.

But the local authorities are hitting back and with the signs now set in concrete, police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger is on the lookout.

“We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed,” the officer said. “It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile.”

Local tourist guide Andreas Rehmueller said it was only the British that had a fixation with Fucking. “The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg,” he explained. “Every American seems to care only about The Sound of Music (the 1965 film shot around Salzburg). The occasional Japanese wants to see Hitler’s birthplace in Braunau. But for the British, it’s all about Fucking.”

Guesthouse manager Augustina Lindlbauer described the village’s breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas. “Yet still there is this obsession with Fucking,” she said. “Just this morning I had to tell an English lady who stopped by that there were no Fucking postcards.”


Sigh. I am American to the core. I went to Salzburg... and they're right... I didn't care about the Mozart house, I took a tour visiting every location involved in the Sound of Music. In fact my bedroom in the bed and breakfast where I stayed faced the mountain Maria danced on, and the family fled over in the film. It was funny because in real life, Hitler's Crow's Nest was on the other side of that mountain, but in the movie it was a safe place to go.

Yeah.... ok then. That was amusing.

Blogger made me update my blog to their new Google format... I don't know the difference but it was a pain in the butt when all I wanted to do was copy and paste a news article.

And thats all I have to say. Goodnight!

Sigh...

The person who sent me this email apparently never read my blog rant.

PAY ATTENTION !

"Ya Gotta LOVE THIS"

Rules for the phone.

How ALL business phones SHOULD be answered!

GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Press "1" for English.

Press "2" to disconnect until you learn to speak English

And remember only two defining forces have ever
offered to die for you,

Jesus Christ
and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

First of all. Colors = font size 3000. Save it for your storefront.

Second. Random patriotic stuff added to info about telephone answering systems.

Third. Random patriotic stuff AND religion added to something to which neither have any connection.

Bad email, BAD. Go to your box and hide!

YEAH

So, last night, I don't think I was coherent enough to be writing a blog entry. I am pretty sure it didn't come across the way I wanted it to.

Anyway... when I'm at work I'm usually cleaning something with a wet towel, so my hands usually get very dried out and chapped. Today, I didn't do any cleaning, because it was so cold that we didn't really get any substantial customers. But the skin on my hands actually broke open all over, simply because it was so cold. I think the mall heaters couldn't keep up with the heat loss out of the skylight domes. I thought my hands were just red from the cold, but I looked closer, and I could actually see into the miniscule cracks in my skin, to the open blood.

FUN!

ten-dollar words...

I don't know if that's the correct colloquialism.

Anyway, I used the simple terms to describe the engineer-jujitsu theory. Here's what the engineer said, stolen from his blog:

"I also wanted to write about my thought about relating shockwaves and drift velocities with a kiai and if a kiai can physically knock the person off balance. In theory, if the kiai was strong enough to create a large enough drift velocity behind the shockwave, then as the shockwave passes you by, the wind will hit you at the drift velocity. so basically you will be hit by a gust of air traveling really fast because of some pressure difference created in a short amount of time."

Just so everyone knows I wasn't TRYING to misquote him hahaha.

Engineers...

I talk about a wide range of topics here, at least I like to think I do. I thought today would be a good day to mention engineers.

I have a lot of friends who are engineers. My brother is in the honors engineering school at Rutgers. Engineer professions even run in the family (the smart side of the family).

Today before jujitsu Dhaval presented the idea that if an object travelled at or above the speed of sound and stopped right in front of your face, essentially there would be a sonic boom or at least enough force (I forget the cool terms) that would knock you off balance. That object could in theory be a sound wave, so what if someone were to kiai in your face with enough energy to knock you down? Not just surprise the heck out of you so you would involuntarily flinch but to actually use the physics to knock you down.

It leads to more interesting questions. Like, what does that actually do to the bones in the head? Would your skull cave in? Would you rattle your brain enough to cause swelling? If a sonic boom in the air can break windows on the ground, what would happen to you if you were there, essentially at ground zero?

Anyway, despite being a theater major who had to have a geometry and chemistry tutor, take the dumbed down version of physics in high school, AND the dumbed down version of precalc in college, it does interest me a lot to try to integrate actual physical laws/findings/experiments with something more intuitive, like defending yourself against an unknown assailant in a dark alley. Obviously you wouldn't stop in the middle of a rape to calculate the exact angle you should kick someone, but if you understand physics even a little, I think a lot of things are really applicable.

I'm also fascinated by National Geographic's special on Fight Science.

In other random news, Barb was on the other end of the mat being worked on by a physical therapist for her back, so I knew she wasn't watching any of us for a while. Of course that was when I did the best bridge fall I've ever done. It still didn't have the step-step-spring that's supposed to preceed the actual bridge fall, but I managed not to put my hands towards the ground or even move them as if to put them on the ground. I also managed to keep my feet together, so I got the spring part and went right over. Then I went back to doing crappy ones.

Its annoying that I can only do them when certain people are not watching. It means its all in my head.