Whew!

Hi, everyone, this is Jack! My mommy Meghan is sleepy so I'm posting an update on her behalf. She's been doing a lot of gardening, and when I see her in the garden, I usually run over to help out. Sometimes I go into the garden even when she's not there. She needs all the help she can get taking care of those plants, because some small creature has been getting in and trampling on stuff. And boy!! Its exhausting, taking care of those plants:


These are all the things she's been pulling out of the garden. On the left is an acorn squash that seems to be genetically pure, whatever that means. She told me last year the squash that came up was an acorn/spaghetti squash hybrid. But I wouldn't remember because I was only a few weeks old! The cucumbers are going crazy, and Meghan can't seem to find enough people to eat them. The beans and peas are at the end of their seasons, so the ones in the picture are going to become seeds for next year. I can't wait! More digging in the dirt and rolling and basking in the sun and catching all the bugs that she disturbs!


The bright tomatoes are a breed called Amish Paste. They are supposed to be good for sauces, but Meghan's dad has been putting them in his sandwiches. The dark ones are Cherokee Purple. Don't sit and wait for them to turn red, they won't! They will go bad before that happens, because they are ripe when they are purple. They also have a very low acidity level, and Meghan wants to plant them next year because they are so yummy and juicy!! That big one in the corner became her lunch the other day. She just had a whole tomato for lunch. Can you imagine that? No fish-shaped fiber crunchies, no liver and tuna with gravy, not even a chipmunk! Just a tomato! How does she live like that?


Meghan has dubbed this the first ever butt-pumpkin. It is one of the only pumpkins that has survived the onslaught of the groundhog. She was really tempted to put mace on her pumpkins to keep the groundhogs away but didn't know if that would mean they are no longer organic. For now, we will just have to be more vigilant. (I wonder if she means me?)


Its really shiny here because it was in the dirt, and Meghan had to wash it in case there were bugs or anything on it. Its still sitting on the kitchen table. But there was another pumpkin that the groundhog chewed into, all the way to the seeds, so she had to make a pie with it before it went bad. I hope we can find this groundhog soon, because we don't know where he's getting in. There are no holes under the fence. I don't want Meghan to start blaming me for the groundhog's mischief! I hope she doesn't expect me to kill it. Although, that would be fun.


Speaking of big game, there were two giant birds in my yard today. Meghan called them turkeys. I didn't like their clucking noise, so I puffed my tail up at them and arched my back to make them go away. Slinky and Sister, my real parents, ran and hid. But I was brave and was only about 8 feet away from them. One of the birds jumped up onto the garden fence and then flew away. The other one had a staredown with me but I won because I looked more like a lion than he did. I ran towards him and he flew away too. Meghan was sad she couldn't get to her camera soon enough.

Ok that is all. Until next time,

~Jack~

Ahh little kids...

So, today I played Esther, as I already mentioned I would be doing.

I thought the kids seemed riveted to me, but I guess not. I overheard one little girl telling her grandmother what Bible character came to Sunday School today:

Girl: "We got to meet Sylvester."
Grandmother: Sylvester?
Girl: yeah, she's right over there, with the long hair.

I was walking away so at that point I was both laughing and out of earshot. I don't know how Gramma responded. I hope she set her straight.

Michael Phelps

I discovered that if you are aware of your surroundings and current events, it is possible to turn the TV on, watch for thirty seconds, see history made, and yet another world record broken, and in under a minute, turn the TV off again.

I think the cooler race was the other relay where half their suits were hanging off and Steve made a big deal about the buttcrack and that NBC was being really conservative by not showing any of the swimmer's fronts "out of fear."

We wouldn't want the male version of Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction now would we?

Rolling with the punches...

So my church isn't doing VBS this year. What? A church without VBS?? Sacrilege! Instead, every Sunday, a Bible character is visiting the Sunday school. I believe I have mentioned this before. The first week we had Noah tell us what it was like on the ark, then Gideon, Elijah and Elisha, Shadrach... its been exciting.

I've been the one calling the actors, rehearsing with them, putting them in costumes, etc. We only managed to find someone to play Queen Esther about two weeks ago. Today, I re-discovered why I am not working in a professional theater.

Esther called to say she couldn't make it, and she's sooo sorry. Fortunately I have to say, I really really had a strong gut feeling that she would bail. So, I didn't call her back, I didn't even call the Sunday School director. Why? Because I listened to my gut and I've spent the past two weeks studying the part. Why didn't I just give the part to someone else? Cause we've exhausted our resources as far as actors are concerned.

So yeah. Cool. I have a day and a half to prep myself for a performance (I didn't memorize lines, I just studied the story so when I get up there, I'll have to improv). Now you know why, if I did this professionally, and it was the only thing paying my bills, I'd kill myself.

Just rolling with the punches...

Oh yeah, PS. I get the nicest costume for myself... why? Cause I CAN!

Ahh memories...

While I worked at the Nordstrom Espresso Bar, and not Starbucks, it is my belief that they are all virtually the same: the same neurotic caffeine-addicted customers wanting their daily fix at the same time every morning at the same hectic pace and the same rush at the same time every morning. A friend of mine works at Starbucks and posted this in her blog:

"We have a long line out the door, 2 people on bar, 2 people (including me) on register, and one person in the lobby getting everyone's order. We're all huring getting people in and out with our legendaryyy service when I get this guy:

[My Friend]147xxxx: Hi, what did you order?
Cell phoned jerk: Yeah, well that's what I reported to Grady... yeah, exactly...
147xxxx: Excuse me, sir?
Cell phoned jerk: at around 8 or 9 I asked- ...yes... no, no, I agree wholeheartedly on tha- ... right,
147xxxx: Sir, I have to know what you ordered to ring you up
Cell phoned jerk: Yeah... haha oh of course
147xxxx: SIR
Cell phoned jerk: Well, I think she faxed it around 10
147xxxx: (to another partner) DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE ORDERED?
13xxxxx: I don't remember...
Cell phoned jerk: right...ha... At starbucks. STARBUCKS
147xxxx: ...if you want something you have to tell me what you ordered or get out of line.
Cell phoned jerk: grande cappuccino

He tossed a $20 at the counter while continuing his phone conversation, and I slammed the change down on the counter and wanted to shove that god damn phone in his mouth. When there isn't a line and I get customers like this I usually try to take my sweet time in punching in their ordering and getting their change. We should have someone not affiliated with the company stand outside and kick them in the groin after they leave. Eh, just a thought."

I know EXACTLY how she feels!!

Quotes

I often post quotes in my Xanga account, more for my benefit than anyone else's. I thought that today I would switch it up and post here instead. Usually, I post the original author of the quote. But most of these, I have no idea where they originated.

"Everything will be OK in the end. If its not OK, its not the end."

"The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other."

"A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek God to find her."

"One of the first things a relationship therapist learns is that couples argue to burn up energy that could be used for something else. In fact, arguments often serve the purpose of using up energy, so that the couple do not have to take the courageous, creative leap into an unknown they fear. Arguing serves the function of being a zone of familiarity into which you can retreat when you are afraid of making a creative breakthrough." ~Gay Hendricks

"He doesn't make my dreams come true. No, when I am with him, I find myself giving birth to new dreams."

Celebrity Morph

Yay, I like Rachel Weisz!

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

gas prices

I'll admit... my heart leaps a little when I see that the local gas station near me has dropped its prices to $3.65 (from $3.97). I've always loved them because they do have the cheapest gas around excluding Raceway (but I don't go to Raceway... my car doesn't like the gas there) and when everyone else went over $4/ gallon, Mr. Thrifty Gas made it a point not to (probably because you pay the same whether you use cash or credit).

And I'll also admit, I have at times called Anissa or Steve before visiting Nanuet or New Brunswick to find out the price of gas where they are... should I fill up here, or wait?

But I do have to say, I like the ideas in this article. I also, on occasion, have to drive on 287 during rush hour. And when gas was over $4/ gallon in places, "rush hour" meant there were enough cars on the road that crazy people had to slow down to 70 rather than their usual 80 (speed limit on 287 is 65, 55, then back to 65). I like it when less people drive. Seriously, our gas is not taxed as heavily as in other countries, we do pay less than other people, the Brits are still envious of our gas prices (I know, I talked to one!), and it is possible to get by despite high gas prices. You just have to know how to make a budget. See my August 8, 2008 rant on that.

I think gas prices hit Americans hard because most of them don't know how to manage their finances or do simple math.

Ok. Thats all. End rant.

pillar of salt

Genesis 19:26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

I finally get it. As cool as it would be to discover a medical condition transforming the proteins in the cells of the body into sodium chloride, its not necessary. If you enjoy your memories while looking forward, you can bring yourself to a safe place. If you look back at your memories, you are frozen there. There's no moving forward. Good, you may think... I will sacrifice myself to become a standing monument to my memories. Well thats no good. A monument of salt will last as long as there's a drought. After that it will wash away to the ocean. The monument to your memories will be gone. Better just to look forward and remember your memories; that way you won't lose anything.

Simple Math

I have spent 17 months working at a cash register. In all that time, the following conversation occurs repeatedly and it never ceases to amaze me:

"Ok that will be $41.72 ok and that's out of a $50? ok."

Pause as for one reason or another a glitch causes the computer to neglect to print what the customer should receive as change.

"OH NO! What do I do now???!"

Why? Why does nobody know how to give the correct change anymore? Did your 1st grade math teacher make you use a calculator instead of brains?

It is really sad that I, a self-confessed math hater, must comment on this. I hate math, and a lot of the time I can't be bothered, I am too lazy to do it. But at least when I HAVE to do it, I know how and can do it quickly, silently, and without panic.

This article seems to be pointing out a growing trend of mathematically challenged people.

Champagne in my veins

The number 8, in certain ancient symbolism, is supposed to represent the start of something new. I wonder what 8-8-'08 will bring.

So far, 23 minutes in, it has brought a poem about myself. I have not written a poem since May 2006, so it is very interesting to me that I am beginning to see life in catchphrases that I can expound upon like I used to do. I wonder if this burst of creativity will be the start of something I haven't experienced yet.

(If you were wondering about the title, that's the catchphrase that triggered the entire poem.)

Roughing it...

I love cooking. I love it so much I make Steve cook with me. In the mood for fish recently, we stopped at the Asian food market to see what was available. The Asian food market is incredible. They advertise many different types of animals and animal parts, including a wedge of shark meat that looks like its been chiseled away with a hacksaw, and "sheepshead" which we saw on a sign but... they must have been all out. Thank goodness. At other times you can go browse the rotisserie and see things that are clearly not fowl, the usual occupants of rotisseries. After much debate, we finally settled on red snapper, since my neighbor, an Italian cook, raves about red snapper.

I come from a predominantly white neighborhood, where you can go to the store and buy fish fillets, fish steaks, mollusks and shellfish. The latest novelty which they just installed about a year ago is a sushi bar which is manned for about 3 hours a day by the employees of the Chinese/ Japanese restaurant down the road. Its a big thing. One thing you do not see in our store is whole fish. So naturally, I didn't quite know what to do with this red snapper that we got. I went to Barnes and Noble with a gift card and a gift certificate for a free smoothie from the cafe. Steve settled in with a comic book, I sat down with a whole stack of cookbooks. I didn't end up buying the cookbook dedicated to fish, but I learned how to clean, fillet, skin, and cook a fish. I got a delectable recipe as well. But I ended up actually buying a green tea cookbook.

So now I feel prepared and more educated. I feel like if Steve were to come visit covered in war paint and dragging dinner behind him with a spear through it, I would be able to take it without blinking an eye or asking "what do you want me to do with this THING?" As long as it breathes with gills that is. Perhaps I will find a book that teaches how to get the meat from a larger creature, like a deer. Then I will be prepared for any sort of guy dragging dead stuff to my kitchen.

Next item: Learn how to make fish stock from a meatless carcass.

Three things

1. I am starting to hate Blogger. They made some kind of a deal with Google that makes logging in a nightmare from hell.

2. It has been a long time since grappling with someone resulted in them tapping out. Tonight, I discovered sutemi that can lead to my opponent tapping out. As I was grappling, I could hear Rod's voice in my head yelling at me not to hold back, but just go for it and mean it. I finally figured out how to do that. We were near the edge of the mat, and getting the tap required me to relinquish my comfort, and allow my head to press into the pavement. There was no other way. Grappling is not usually like that for me. I either win rarely, or I give up and tap out (more common). It is not often that I must make a sacrifice to reach my goal. I can over analyze this: I wonder if perhaps I have had this love-hate relationship with jujitsu because I have been allowing myself to give up my goal rather than make a sacrifice.

3. I have a little secret that I briefly thought about sending to postsecret.com but then decided its not necessary for me to be anonymous. Here it is: I love looking at myself in the mirror after Jujitsu, and seeing my hair mussed up and falling out of its braid. When my hair is mussed, that's when I feel the most beautiful.

HAHAHA

I tried to post a comment and blogger required that I pass the "captcha" test. (If you don't know, its that picture of distorted letters that prevents spam bots from advertising on your blog.) I noticed that if you type the letters in and then discover that "that R is actually an N" you can erase the whole thing and start over. But instead of the standard button that says "clear" or "start over" Blogger makes you admit your stupidity by clicking the little handicap symbol.

Weddings

I've been planning my wedding since I was five. At 13 I narrowed my wedding dress choices down to 2. When my aunt got married a few summers ago, I decided that I, too, wanted a reception in a castle. So its only natural that today I read an article about the top wedding traditions that you can't do without. The author was witty, which is why I have deemed it blog-worthy. I've summarized a bit, but I'm quoting the four best paragraphs in the author's article.

You can do away with the Macarena, YMCA, and Electric Slide, but the four traditions your wedding must have are:

1. Write your own vows. "The traditional 'for better or for worse' vows don’t do the bride and groom justice. These people have been through better and worse. They have planned an American wedding, an event that in modern dollars and man-hours equals approximately the entire Normandy Invasion. If you can plan a wedding together, you can live together, buy a house together, invade Nazi Europe together, etc."

2. Open Bar. "You don't want to be known as a closed-bar wedding. You could host an elaborate ceremony on a scenic Hawaiian bluff with the Rev. Jesse Jackson presiding as the bride and groom parachute from a B-52 Stratofortress while Yo-Yo Ma and Kid Rock perform a breathtaking duet and, if you don't provide free booze, the only thing any guy in attendance will say about that day is, 'Dude, closed bar.'"

3. Best Man's Speech. "Here's a man who's probably a lifelong friend of the groom. This man knows in the back of his mind that their friendship will never be the same. No one in the room has more to lose by this couple getting married. But if this man who is losing his best friend and facing many a lonely weekend playing Xbox, if this man can give his blessing, then who can object?"

4. Honeymoon. "Legend has it that Northern European men in the mood to marry used to abduct their wives from neighboring villages and take them into hiding while the bride's father and brothers hunted them down. This hiding period came to be known as the honeymoon. How romantic. The name itself came from a drink the bride and groom would share — mead — that was made from honey. Couples would drink a cup of mead per day during the first 30 days of marriage, presumably to take the edge off the wife's recent kidnapping. (Admit it. There’s a part of you that longs to be kidnapped by a take-no-prisoners Norseman who never wears shirts. I know how you women think.)"

(Taken from an msnbc.com article written by Joe Donatelli)

w(sl)eepy

The sky is pretty today.

But its still one of those lost and empty sort of days.

Photo Blog

Today is day two of my body's sleep boycott. I have been falling asleep at 2 and waking up at 6, which is before my alarm. I hate waking up before my alarm. Also I have been stressed this week and when I get stressed I pick the skin away from my fingernails... without even noticing I'm doing it. It looks bad, especially because my nails are caked with dirt from working in the church's garden and the church attic, which has to be emptied because the fire marshal said so. To get my mind off those things, I took a walk around my yard with the camera, and took comfort in everything I have accomplished this summer.

I planted about three trillion dahlias, and a bush next to the Holly that has a name I can't pronounce. That day I got a nice sunburn.


In order to plant the vegetable garden, I had to remove the hydrangea. I put it in a bucket to transplant, and then I forgot about it. It seems to be happy in the bucket (its growing anyway).


I spent about half a day cleaning the old leaves out of the hydrangea (the one that is IN the ground) and pulling off the dead stems. That was another sunburn day, but it was worth it:


The overgrown vegetable garden. Note patch of red, that is a gladiolus, which just came up on its own, as well as a few others in places where I KNOW we have never had glads.


A bee in a cucumber flower.


The cucumber patch, which is producing cucumbers that are about the size and diameter of a footlong Subway sandwich.


Three foot tall lettuce.


7 foot tall tomatos. Back row, R to L: Aldo, Amish Paste, Cherokee Purple. Front rom, R to L: accidental cherry tomato from last year's plants, cherry tomato , cherry tomato, three basil plants.


12 foot tall carving pumpkins. Obviously, I am going to have to cut them out of the tree and obviously they are going to be too heavy to grow up high.


Apple Mint taking over next to the garage.


Rhubarb.


Snow peas, at the very end of their season.


The back garden, which contains my pumpkin patch consisting of sweet pumpkins and cheese pumpkins.


Random item. While cleaning out the attic, I discovered a telegraph machine. I took it home to cut down on the phone bill.


Sorry for the blurry photo. I was balancing on my heels, and was tiring of the photography and at that point, wanted it to be over quickly and didn't care about the quality.

Welfleet

So, shortly after my birthday, my dad and I left for Cape Cod. Every year we take two weeks up at the family vacation house (we gave up a week so my Aunt and Uncle who usually never go could have some time this year).

Last year, when we visited Welfleet, we kept seeing signs around town saying "Pray for Caleb." Curious, we Googled the name, and discovered the Potter family. Caleb's mother has been blogging since Caleb's initial accident, and over the past year, I have been drawn to her blog for her wonderful way with words, and also to admire the strength that this family has had, to weather the storms thrown their way in the past year.

Now, in addition to the usual activities when I visit the Cape, I have a new one: keeping my eyes open for a possible "Potter sighting" around town. Although we have never met, I feel drawn to the strength of this family, and there was always a thought in the back of my mind: "I wonder if I'll bump into them somewhere... on the sidewalk in front of the Lighthouse, at Mac's Shack, at the library." It is always followed by another thought: "I wonder who else I am passing on these same streets that has just as much strength and just as many trials as the Potter family." It has made me curious about the lives of other people I know nothing about.

The above few paragraphs came into my head as I was taking a walk on Newcomb Hollow Beach, observing some surfers. Several times, I have seen pictures of Caleb or his brothers with their surfboards, and one thought leads to another, especially when one is walking contemplatively on a beach. Inspired, I snapped a few photos.


The moment passed, and our walk led us to an area where an old shipwreck washed ashore during a storm some months ago. Dad's Captain Morgan pose seemed appropriate for some reason.


Notice the wooden spikes. No metal screws for this ship... it makes me appreciate the age of the wood so much better.


You have to wonder why something that has been underwater for 300 years suddenly decided to float again. That must have been one heck of a storm.


How do heavy things wash up onto the beach? I have no idea.


Just a cool scene at high tide on a trail down south of Welfleet somewhere.


Last year I took all bird and flower pictures, so this year I thought I would expand my horizons a little.


I took several pictures of the grass but this is my favorite.


Sign at the beach:


Up near Providence, I'm back to non-stop pictures of flowers.


Oh the things you can find in P-town.



(BTW, Steve and my mom followed us up to the Cape a few days later- after mom took her certification exam. She will find out in a few weeks if she passed, but I have confidence in her. She's a good student! My brother stayed home... he already took a bunch of days off work for other things.)


Hey, we were in Provincetown for Pete's sake. Straight people are allowed to be a little gay if they want to.


The fog was hiding the lighthouse, Steve wanted to make sure everyone could find it.


Greedy little guy isn't he?


Meet Stumpy. A greedy chipmunk with an extra short tail.


Not Stumpy, therefore, its ok to pretend to eat him.

just stuff

I once heard it said that the problem with eating in an Italian household is that three or four days later, you are hungry again. (I have heard the same with Jewish households.)

I am tempted to say that the same goes for the barbecue on Sunday. Today (Wednesday) I felt hungry again for the first time since the barbecue. I ate on Monday and Tuesday, but simply because NOT eating makes people wonder if I am anorexic. Any time I am sick and lose my appetite, this is a fear in the back of my mind. I know I shouldn't worry about what people think of me, but the thoughts always wiggle in sometimes.

Strangely, I still sleep a lot. It is the only symptom from that little sick spell that hasn't gone away. I don't think I would say it is "fatigue" although I am not quite sure how "fatigue" is defined medically. It is more just... I get a full night's sleep and then sometime in the middle of the day or after work, I take a 2-3 hour nap. (Excluding this week when I know I will be too busy to get 8 hours of sleep at night.) Its not fatigue or complete exhaustion as much as it is simply that my body is telling me it needs to sleep (as opposed to "I need to sleep or I am going to quit on you").

And in completely random news, I was driving the other day and saw a speed limit sign advertising 9 miles an hour. I wonder what made them choose the number nine. I would appear to be... completely random.

Anyway, that is all. I will be in Cape Cod soon, so this may be the last post for a while. Sorry it is not more substantial.

My Birthday!

My birthday this year lands on an inconvenient day, so I moved it. On Sunday, we all got together for a beefless, porkless barbeque. This means we had other things. Asian chicken salad, bison burgers (they don't taste beefy at all!), orzo salad with Indo-Mediterranean influences, homegrown-salad-out-of-the-garden-not-counting-the-tomatoes (with organic influences), potato chips with American influences (starch, fried in fat then smothered in fat AKA sour cream onion dip), and grilled corn straight from India. Yep, Dhaval went there himself on Saturday and picked some up and brought it back to us.

He then grilled it like a college student would. I decided I never want to eat corn again unless it has the Indian secret ingredients.


Then we started in on dessert. Ice cream cake from Carvel, Spice Cake from Taylor, and spiced/sugared oranges from James.


Can't forget to mention the homemade cream soda from Anissa.


Always ask yourself What Wouldn't Jesus Do?


A few happy partiers.


After this we had coffee and strawberries and s'mores and ginger beer around the chimenea. I unfortunately did not snap as many pictures as I would have liked, but other people did. If they would like their photos displayed here, they can send them to me.

Modeling my new shirt from Navin.


We have decided that this is where we should have gone to summer camp when we were kids. Darn it all, it didn't exist back then.


Thats it, hope you enjoyed it!

Pretty!

So, I just wanted to share a few pretty pictures with you before I get to the other blog stuff I want to do. This was from the wedding I went to at my church on July 5th.


For the first time in about 5 years, our Easter lily decided to bloom (in July, not Easter).






Sister eating breakfast with the Easter lilies, the orange tango hibiscus, and the purple galaxy hibiscus on the far right.


Orange Tango up close.


Purple Galaxy as it is opening. Once it opened fully, it was 9 inches across. I think it grew from last year haha.

oops

"The average American woman today owns six bras, one of which is a strapless bra, and one in a colour other than white." ~Wikipedia

Heh. I'm not normal I guess.

arghh

It drives me crazy how people in the news are quoted as saying things like, "the White House has been opposing this policy for months now," and "resistance from Capital Hill has hindered the effort." The White House did nothing. Its a building. Most of the people inside the building also have no power to do anything for your policy. Stop being a wuss and name the person or people that are opposing your policy. The KGB will not make you disappear simply because you complain about a person. As messed up as this country is, we still have the freedom to say we don't like a politician's policies. Wuss.

heaven

59% dark chocolate with lavender and hints of blueberries. And completely organic.

That's all I have to say about that.

Update

So, I've been silent lately, and thought you all might want to hear from me again.

On Wednesday evening I went to see the Producers at Plays-in-the-Park. That was awesome and we ate a lot of chocolate.

On Thursday evening I was in a relatively good mood for several reasons: 1) I saw a double decker train, which I have never seen in NJ. 2) Driving, I saw a truck pulling a boat, and the boat's name was "Black Pearl." 3) Flipping through the radio stations, one talk show host wondered if there was a Ma and Pa Wawa in Mahwah. So because I was in a good mood, I went to Jujitsu, and took a fall I shouldn't have because that spinal thing is still hinting at coming back, but I was still in a good mood.

On Friday the 4th, I went to my Uncle's house and missed the parade. I had already missed the fireworks on the 3rd because of jujitsu, so I felt maybe my Independence day was incomplete. I did get my traditional strawberry shortcake, however, so that was something.

On Saturday, I went to a wedding of someone I didn't know, and skipped the reception to go to my aunt's house for a bbq. The wedding was alright. It was the first wedding held in my church in a LOOONG time, and the first after the renovation, when it actually looked like a church. I realized it does clean up pretty nice. I had always thought, "no way am I holding my wedding in a church sanctuary that was originally intended to be a basketball court." But now it might be do-able. I also appreciated that Pastor's message to the couple was pre-written. It avoids bunny trails. Unfortunately, it also makes everything he says unmemorable. And I have decided I hate that blasted candle tradition. You don't join two flames to make another flame, you join two flames and it just starts making the wick of the unity candle begin to change its carbon composition. A better example of unity would be pouring colored sands together. That is more inseparable. Or how about this? Tying a knot!! ANYWAY... the bbq contained a lot of food not intended for vegetarians, but there was this awesome orzo salad that I am going to try to make soon, without a recipe. I actually sat there and analyzed all the ingredients, and I think I might be able to make it. Later at night, we all headed out to my uncle's boat, and his neighbor's boat, and rode up to the north end of the lake and dropped anchor. What were we waiting for? The fireworks, of course! I finally felt like my holiday was complete. When they were over, all 500 boats turned around and headed back home. My uncle calls it The Flotilla. There are too many of them to go fast, so they go slowly which creates massive waves. It was hilarious trying to get off the boat onto a floating dock, in the dark.

By Monday my good mood had worn off a bit probably due to massive PMS which in a day or two ultimately led to the third worst menstruation of my life in which I wondered if perhaps I had forgotten about nine months of pregnancy and skipped right to the labor. Yep, more information than you bargained for I am sure. I went to visit Anissa Monday night and she cheered me up. I think we were both hoarse from talking for about 5 hours straight.

Today was not so bad. It was a decent day at work, and I came home and got stuff done. Oh I forgot to mention, the reason I was doing stuff today that normally my dad has been doing, is because my dad has not been home. Why? Because just before the holiday, my dad got a phone call. A bunch of people quit, can you come back and work for us? So he said yes, and started on Monday. Which means when I get home from work, I have chores again haha. But its ok. The garden has started producing lettuce, beans, and peas, the pumpkins are completely taking over, and the tomatoes are doing well and for some reason are not helter-skelter like they usually are. I am feeling pretty happy with how the garden is turning out. And also, my hibiscus plants are all in bloom, even my purple galaxy, which never bloomed once this past winter, even though the others did. I think the blossoms have gotten bigger too. When I bought it last year, there was a flower on it, and it was an average size flower. This year, the flowers are about 9 inches in diameter. I tell it how proud I am every time I walk past. Hopefully that will get it to produce even more flowers haha.

And that brings us up to date with everything. Now you don't have to wonder what is going on in my life.

Count me in.

(More Deana Carter)

Could there be a different ending
To the same old story
Cause you're not the first to say
You're gonna be there for me
I need to know what's in your heart
Can you finish what you start
How can I be sure I won't be sorry

If heartaches and tears and shadows of doubt
Are part of the deal, you can count me out
But if you're talking about a game I can win
You can count me in

Waiting

I graduated in '06 with a degree I had decided not to use. Its been two years, and I finally know what I want. But I have to wait for it. I don't know how long I will have to wait.

Patience is not something I am good at.

Things I'm tired of.

1. Christianese. South Park, sadly, has done a great job of satirizing Christian music, by having several of the characters singing about how "Jesus touched me." Its creepy and sacrilegious in the context of South Park, but if you really think about the songs you sing every Sunday, many of them make no sense whatsoever to someone outside the clique.

2. Theater. It has ruined my enjoyment of life. The video and lighting is all off at church. The speakers are too loud, and I cringe every time someone at church gets the microphone, because I know they are going to pronounce "s" wrong. The s is really what bothers me. The lights, ok it would be nice to have nice ones that aren't clipped onto the basketball hoop. But that's not too big a deal, because the basketball hoop works, and our youth group doesn't use it. But if your s is not pronounced behind your teeth, if it ends up being pronounced more toward the top curve of your palate, its going to make a noise the microphone is not equipped to handle. And that last sentence, is why I hate theater. I should not be thinking about crap like that.

3. Sermons disguised as prayers. "Dear God, we thank you for this day and the opportunity to come before you in prayer. We thank you that *commence story from the speaker's life, then an explanation of the story's relevance, then a parallel connection that allows all listeners to relate* Amen." If you are going to talk to me, talk to me, in sermon form. If you are going to talk to God, does it make sense to preach at him? If you are that uncertain about your abilities to give an edifying, encouraging message to someone, simply because you are not the pastor, then perhaps you should not be speaking. If you have doubts about yourself and what you are saying, don't speak until you are sure, don't just disguise it as a prayer and hope someone gets the message.

4. People who confuse their syllables. Mr. President, "nuclear" is not pronounced "nuke-you-lar." And Mr. F, there is no possible way I can be an "intrigal" part of that effort.

5. Pet names for significant others that involve the word "poo." I don't think that one needs any explanation.

Ticks

Ticks are freaky sadist creeps in the bedroom.

Did you know that ticks reproduce by way of oral sex and harpoons?

That would explain why the bacteria causing Lyme disease is related to syphilis.

Its a strange feeling...

...waking up one morning and discovering your priorities have shifted. Discovering which people could walk out of your life tomorrow without hurting you a bit.

Yes, I'm having one of those down-for-no-reason days. The chocolate isn't helping. It tastes like honey and it shouldn't.

New Medical Breakthrough!

Things they have discovered about kissing, taken from a friend's blog:

Disclaimer: I have not checked this out on snopes.com or anywhere else for accuracy, but in the interest of science, I would be willing to conduct a test of my own.

1. Those who kiss their partner goodbye each morning live five years longer than those who don’t.

2. Kissing is great for self-esteem. It makes you feel appreciated and helps your state of mind.

3. Kissing burns calories, 2-3 calories a minute and can double your metabolic rate. Research claims that three passionate kisses a day (at least lasting 20 seconds each) will cause you to loose an entire extra pound! It’s time to start that kissing diet!

4. Kissing is a known stress-reliever. Passionate kissing relieves tension, reduces negative energy and produces a sense of well being, lowering your cortisol ‘stress’ hormone.

5. Kissing uses 30 facial muscles and it helps keep the facial muscles tight, preventing baggy cheeks! The tension in the muscles caused by a passionate kiss helps smooth the skin and increases the circulation.

6. Kissing is good for the heart, as it creates an adrenaline which causes your heart to pump more blood around your body. Frequent kissing has scientifically been proven to stabilize cardiovascular activity, decrease blood pressure and cholesterol.

7. Those who kiss quite frequently are less likely to suffer from stomach, bladder and blood infections.

8. During a kiss, natural antibiotics are secreted in the saliva. Also, the saliva contains a type of anesthetic that helps relieve pain.

9. Kissing reduces anxiety and stops the ‘noise’ in your mind. It increases the levels of oxytocin, an extremely calming hormone that produces a feeling of peace.

10. The endorphins produced by kissing are 200 times more powerful than morphine.

Why I don't go to the doctor.

Ok so everything started on Wednesday night or Thursday morning. I still went to work. Thursday night I went to jujitsu but it was too painful to work out. I taught newbies. My fever would come and go, meaning more than just fever, I am having trouble maintaining one of my favorite high school biology terms: homeostasis. On Saturday at work, I could barely turn my head or stand up, but I was working with the owner's wife, a mom, who did a quick review and said, "You're leaving early, and you should go to the doctor." Steve gave me a back and neck massage which loosened things up a little, but I was still miserable enough to take a half-dose of aspirin (so like me, I hate meds haha). Here's the conversation I had with mom:

Mom: How are you feeling?
Me: A little better now that I took an aspirin.
Mom: Wow, thats not like you.
Me: Yeah, I was wondering if you could make a doctor's appointment for me on Monday.
Mom: Who are you and where's my daughter?

In addition to all this, I had pain in my right side that has since left so its not appendicitis. Probably just anxiety from everything else going on. There was also The Rash. The Rash was located along my underwear line, and due to its proximity to certain body parts, it was sort of D-shaped, but if it was on plain, uninterrupted skin, it would probably be a nice round circle.

So, when I went to the doctor today, I mentioned all this. First to the nurse, then to the med student trailing the doctor, then to the doctor herself. I have to say, I am not cutting the doctor down. I really liked her, and for some reason I feel better about having Indian doctors. My pediatricians were Indian too, and mom always said I loved them. My doctor herself was great. Its western medicine I don't like, coupled with a fear of getting sued that causes doctors not to actually diagnose you with anything.

She did a completely pointless test of my strength in which she applied no pressure to my arms and legs and told me to resist. Then she wanted to see how much my joints hurt but because I had taken an aspirin just to get myself out of bed, I was slightly more mobile, although I did tell her it was late at night when the pain reaches a ten on the scale.

After that she looked at The Rash and then in my ears and throat. She concluded that the one thing I didn't mention to her as a symptom (pain due to slight swelling behind my eardrum) was what was causing my fever and joint pain. (Sorry honey, I've had ear infections at least 3 times a year for the first 15 years of my life, no fever causes this much pain in your joints, especially not a "slight" infection.) And The Rash? I've been jogging at night, so perhaps being sweaty caused a fungal rash, since its right on my underwear line. (I've had a fungal rash as well; it itches and burns and feels nothing like This Rash, which happens to feel like nothing.)

So, when she found out I live in Hicksville, spend time in a garden a lot, jog at night on a street with no sidewalks and frequent exposure to bushes, and sleep with a cat who can't sleep alone ever since he was stuck in a tree for 72 hours, she didn't think "gee I wonder if this girl had a tick bite somewhere near that rash" she thought, "There must be an infection AND a fungus that both occurred in a timeframe that would cause symptoms to appear on the same night."

As an afterthought, she ordered a blood test to check for Lyme and "other stuff" not telling me what "other stuff" but since I am mostly worried its Lyme disease I don't really care what the "other stuff" is since the very very basic insurance company my family uses covers blood tests and doctor's visits.

Anyway, I'm now on antibiotics for my ear infection which I don't have, but since Lyme is also treated with antibiotics, I decided to actually get that prescription filled. She also prescribed a glorified aspirin so that instead of taking an aspirin every 4-6 hours, I only have to take this twice a day, although like the aspirin, it doesn't completely numb the pain. Oh yeah, and cream for my "fungal rash" hahaha...

Seriously, I thought about putting tea tree oil on my "rash," getting willow bark extract for the pain, and boosting my immune system with ginger, garlic, sage, and echinacea. But I have to go back to her in a week, so I can't just say "I didn't do what you said" because then if AM still sick, she'd say, "That's why you're still sick." So I'll give her a chance.

Hopefully by the time I'm ready to have kids the insurance companies will start accepting alternative medicine practitioners. I can't deal with western doctors all the time and I would not be able to handle the looks from other parents when I don't take them to the doctor for every sniffle.

Ways to know you're sick...

...without medical symptoms like headache, fever, sore throat, runny nose.

1. You feel sick, even if you have nothing physically wrong with you.
2. You sleep 8 hours a night and take a two hour nap at 6 pm.
3. You take no pride in ambition or a productive day.
4. You cry at all the songs on the radio, even the ones you hate.
5. You can't seem to talk about anything passionately without your eyes watering.
6. Your pain receptors are going off somewhere in your body but your brain can't seem to figure out where the pain is.
7. You crave chicken noodle soup.
8. You sleep under a heavy down comforter in June.
9. You can't seem to catch your breath except that you are not breathing heavily and your heart is not pounding.
10. You walk around with a funny floating sensation.

Finally! The pre-symptoms started on Sunday, but today I took a nap and now I have real symptoms: joint pain, headache, stuffy nose, and a fever of 97.9 F. Yes I know that's below the average human temperature but MY average temperature is 96.8 which puts me .11 degrees higher than normal- FEVER.

Unfortunately, due to a wedding in Pennsylvania, we are going to be understaffed, so I have to at least go open the store tomorrow. I hope my head doesn't explode.

WOW

Its a video containing ALL of the Spanish vocabulary words I still can remember.

Lessons from a psychic detective.

I've been watching the TV show Psych lately. Its hilarious. I love the funny lines and banter, as well as the speed of the conversations. I think that Gilmore Girls set the pace a few years back, and subsequent TV shows like Scrubs and Psych followed suit. It seems like shows are so much better when you are start laughing at a joke made two sentences ago and then you keep laughing for another two more sentences. I guess maybe it keeps the mind a little more engaged that way.

Anyway, this is a new quote I liked:

"Want some dating advice? Treat a woman like a person. Then you treat her like a princess, then a Greek goddess, THEN- you treat her like a person again."

I have to admit it has an intriguing ring to it. But even though I am female... I'm still not quite sure I know what was meant, or whether or not I agree. Well, if I don't know what is meant, I CAN'T agree yet right?

ouch

I just flayed my thumb and rubbed dirt into it. Oops.

Hillsong United music

A thousand times I’ve failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I’m caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself <--- sutemi!
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Yesterday I read that when you start to worry it means God is no longer top priority in your life. Reading that passage made me think about other things besides worry that take the number one place in a person's life. The important stuff happens inside but you can't really tell what's happening by looking inside, you can only tell by what shows up outside. I started thinking about myself... you can tell what kind of tree I am by what kind of fruit I am bearing right?

What kind of fruit am I bearing?

Things that suck.

Math tests.
Vacuum cleaners.
Losing five pounds through your sweat glands. (Yes, I HAVE been hydrating!!)
Realizing you're sunburned AFTER you scrub with a loofa.

HAHAHA

Taylor Swift cracks me up:

State the obvious,
I didn't get my perfect fantasy
I realize you love yourself more
than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that
I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine;
I'll tell mine you're gay

Oh yeah and another food that makes you breathless:
Really juicy watermelon.

Unless you have no qualms about a sticky chin.

things you wish you could say out loud...

This happened today.

Customer: Can you tell me if you have gifts for a ten-year-old boy?
Me: Do you want fiction or non fiction?
Customer: Non-Fiction.
Me: Well, this is the teen section, we do have a section for kids 8 - 12 over there but it has a lot of fiction because kids that age have a hard time with non-fiction books. [pointing.]
[Customer doesn't move.]
Me: Were you looking for something other than a book?
Customer: I don't know...
[Continues looking at the Teen Fiction section.]

Geez, I can't do your shopping FOR you...

Same Customer: This song that is playing on the speakers, do you know who sings it?
Me: Don Moen.
Customer: But who is the group that sings it?

Uh, Don Moen's back-up band? I don't know, its not sung by a group, can't you hear it? Its one guy.

Same Customer AGAIN: And who is this artist that is singing now?
Me: Michael W. Smith
Customer: Do you have that album?
Me: No, but we have an album of various artists with that song on it, or we can order the Michael W. Smith album that contains that song for you.
[Looking at the album of various artists]
Customer: I don't know... it might not be right... what if its got the...
[Loooooong pause.]
Customer: Do you know what I mean?

NO, I don't know what you mean, because you didn't finish your sentence. Were you talking to me in your head? I'm not telepathic...

[Finally a different customer]
Customer: Hooo boy is it hot. This weather! Its just getting hotter and hotter, I just know its a sign. Jesus is coming back real soon! Days like these, when you know the New Jerusalem is coming, I call them "birthing pains."

I call them "summer."

Why Bad Things Happen

This totally makes me angry:

"Why do bad things happen to people?"
"They happen to people so that those people can gain the experience and help other people who are going through the same thing."

Thats a load of crap not because of any moral or religious or theological reason, but because of Philosophy 101. Cause and Effect. A bad thing happens to person A. Why? So they can help B get through the same thing. Why did that stuff happen to B? So they could help C get through the same thing. The loop is infinite. It explains an appropriate reaction to bad things (helping others cope) but not the initial cause.

And this statement was made by an internationally known author, teacher, and pastor with no common sense whatsoever trying to sell turkey broth as a full meal. Thanks Dan for the analogy, yes you do know to whom I am referring.

Growl....

Foods that leave you breathless.

Donuts that have some sort of powder on them that would be painful to inhale.

Peaches that have so much juice, you have to suck it all in quickly so it won't dribble on your shirt.

Cherry tomatoes that are a tad too big for your mouth.

A spoonful of powdered sugar.

So much fun. :-)

heard on the radio...

What would you be willing to do for $10 million?

56% of Americans polled said they would desert their families.
23% would sell themselves into prostitution for two weeks.
3% would sell their children.

:-(

the pain is worth the thunder

I go through phases, musically. I own every Jars of Clay album available so far... to my knowledge. I don't always listen to them, but then I'll go through a phase where I play every album consecutively for a week or two straight. I'm in one of those phases. This is one of the songs that caught my attention.

...
Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
...
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder
Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
...
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes
...

!

I love computer error alerts.

"Test cannot be started because it already does not exist."

Already?? I can't believe it. It is far too soon for that test to cease existing.

just something i wrote

The storm clouds roll in the sky like a raging sea. In the center, there is a bright light, and from the light descends a stone staircase. Despite its magnificence and importance, its base is covered in bird excrement from the seagulls who take refuge when all around the staircase is ocean. In the ocean we see the first splash of true color, a deep sapphire blue. Standing on the lowest step, ankle deep in water, is a child all in white, her gown and wings blowing in the wind. She holds the second source of color: crimson gerbera daisies, whose petals drop straight down despite the obvious wind blowing to starboard.

the wonderful Heather Clark

I have seen a million miles of desert land and I have learned to be free.
And I have walked through shadow lands of Egypt and I have learned to be free.
And I have held the mane of untamed horses and I have learned to be free.
And I have walked on frozen lakes in my soul and I have learned to be free.

Chorus: And I have known the price of love and given all I have for a moment's time with you.
And I have died a thousand times and I have learned to be free.

And I have lost what only death could take from me and I have learned to be free.
And I have gained what only life could give to me and I have learned to be free.

Chorus

And I have craved and walked away in the silence and I have learned to be free.
And I have looked into the face of injustice and I have learned to be free.

Chorus (2xs)

In 2001 I performed to this song on a quaint stage in England (little known facts about me). I have just remembered how much I like it, and it is one of the few songs to which I have both danced and not forgotten the choreography.

I am sure you are all wondering about the colored letters above, well I am staring in the face of injustice tonight and fuming. I can forgive injustices against myself, but when it happens to someone I love, and it is not my place to forgive the person, but someone else's, I don't quite know what to do with myself. I can only hope that I will find myself dancing instead. Not tonight, but I believe I will soon.

EDIT: Hmm... upon further reflection, I have just realized that for someone who has a history of high tolerance for annoyances, and very few instances in recent years of even mild anger (I complain instead of getting angry), I have hit upon a record: I have felt serious anger burning in the pit of my stomach twice in four days.

news article...

There is a website called "The Daily WTF" which is basically like an online news site, except its for people to report on stupidity.

This one was posted by a user named "Snoofle."

This morning, I had to deal with one of our HR secretaries, and it was déjà vu.

When I first started to work for this place I was in HR. I had passed my interviews and was doing paperwork as part of the hiring process. The HR secretary and I had the following conversation:

Her: Can I have the phone number of the consulting company where you worked for the past 6 years?
Me: I was self employed. I am the owner and sole employee of the consulting company and I would be happy to answer any questions you have.
Her: No, I need to call to verify!
Me: ...But you'll just be calling me.
Her: I have to call — what's the number?
Me: The number of the office is [my cell number].
(note: I'm standing 2 feet directly in front of her. She dials the phone and I answer.)
Her: Hello — this is Paula from Initrode Global, calling in reference to Snoofle's employment.
Me (both into the cell phone and to her): I know, I'm standing right in front of you.
Her (into the phone): Could you please verify the dates of Snoofle's employment at VirtuDyne, Intelligenuity and Initech?
Me (reading from my résumé that is laying on her desk in front of her): VirtuDyne: a₁ to b₁, Intelligenuity: a₂ to b₂, and Initech: a₃ to b₃.
Her: Great, thank you! *click*
Me (directly to her): ...Did you not notice that you were talking to me right here in front of you?
Her: I know, but I have to call to check these things.

At this point I walked away, wondering if the rest of the company would be just as WTF-y.

Forgiveness

I am half-ashamed to admit this but I have recently discovered that I, the one whose faith revolves around God's forgiveness of sin, had no idea what forgiveness actually meant. Until yesterday.

I was asked to forgive someone for something that hurt me a lot. Other than knowing that somewhere in the Bible, I am told to forgive even a recurring offense, I felt at a loss as to what that actually meant. What did they want me to do?

Jesus, dying on the cross, said "Father, forgive them." People say "oh, I forgive you." However important words are, they are just words. There has to be an action or an attitude that goes along with it. Luckily, I work in a bookstore. I have a wealth of books in arm's reach, and luckily, some were all about forgiveness. Here is what I discovered:

One author used an analogy of scales. When one person commits a sin against another person, the scales of justice are tipped. The offender now owes something to that person in order for the scales to come back into balance. By forgiving the offender, the other person is basically canceling the debt that is owed, or saying "I forfeit my right to see retribution."

As I sat there, figuring all this out for myself, I was amazed at the depth of it, that I had never grasped before. In case you were wondering, I did forgive. But forgiveness doesn't mean no consequences. A little kid can disobey his mother and walk into a street, and she can forgive him for the disobedience but he's still going to have consequences if he gets hit by a car. Please pray for me and the other person. Consequences suck.

change

Hmm. I don't feel any different.

Is that bad?

song

I've probably posted this before, but I wanted to do it again.

http://bodowartke.de/liebesliedgenerator/llg_flash_2008.php?absename=ShadoWink&empename=Pigeon&select=29,55,23,53,50,45,2,48,32&language=english


Click there, then click your internet connection and it will start playing automatically.

bread

I have discovered the wonderfulness that is German Dark Wheat Bread. It is second only to pumpernickel. Third on my list is some weird wheat-less bread made with pecan and rice flour.

Jack's adventure

So, after getting back from the graduation, I came home and immediately packed to go to Stanhope and house-sit for some friends of mine. She's in Germany, he had a retreat in Los Angeles to go to, and their dogs needed caring for. It was fun, and I was even ok with the extra driving because in that part of NJ there's actually a country station that comes in and everyone knows if you are listening to a song about combine drivers chug-a-lug-a-luggin' five miles an hour, then your drive gets so much easier.

On Wednesday, however, 287 was closed and I got to work late because a tanker turned over and spilled all over the highway. I guess it is the week for big rig accidents (see the blog post "Traffic").

Also on Wednesday night, mom called me to say that Jack hadn't come home and she was going to bed, he would have to spend the night in the garage. Sister was also missing so I thought maybe the two of them had gone off somewhere. I didn't think much of it, because our other cat Fluffy used to take extended vacations when we would let her out, but she always came back when she was hungry or bored with whatever camping trip she went off on. On Thursday night, I stopped in at home and Jack still wasn't back. I started whistling for him and thought I heard something. Sister also reappeared, but without Jack. So I listened again, and sure enough, I can hear him crying somewhere. At that point mom came home so we started walking towards the noise, until we found ourselves at the base of the neighbor's tree. Jack was about 40 feet up, and crying miserably.

Wondering where we could get a ladder that big (no firetruck would fit into this area where we were, without cutting down some trees) I called the non-emergency number for the police/fire department and was told by Sergeant Bitch that "I've never seen a dead cat in a tree." (Really, is that helpful? Thanks for reminding me my baby could DIE. I could tell you I've never seen a dead human in a tree but if I went up after him and got stuck, you'd consider it more of an emergency wouldn't you?)

Knowing that I had to get up insanely early in the morning, I told Jack that if he didn't come down on his own, he was going to have to wait till morning because I could not stay awake any longer at that hour of the night. As we walked away, he started wailing again ("Don't leave meeeeeeeee!!").

The next morning it was raining and I had to go to Stanhope to let the dogs pee and then back to this area to go to work. 18 hours of rain apparently was not enough torture for Jack to drive him to figure out what to do. My neighbor tied some broom handles together to knock him out of the tree so we could catch him in a tarp and even that didn't work.

Saturday afternoon, I finally had some time to go over to the tree and just sit there helplessly staring at him. It had been 63 hours since he got stuck up there, and since the animal hospital, animal shelter, animal control, and tree-cutting service were all useless, I was on the verge of calling someone with a paintball gun to shoot him out of the tree. I climbed a nearby tree and scooted down it to show him what to do. After talking to him for an hour, he stopped crying a bit and watched me climb trees. Mom was there too and had a can of tuna open so he could smell it. I don't know if the aroma reached 40 feet up, but it certainly was strong where we were standing. Finally he decided to swing his butt around instead of going head first like he'd been trying to do for the past few days. Finally some progress! We started cheering him on.

At about 10 feet up he found another branch, and stopped for a breather. This time he continued to try to go head-first, and ended up falling the last few feet. Now, he won't leave our sides. He is the most needy cat, and if he were human, I'd take him to a psychologist. While he was stuck in the tree, the girls got adopted finally, so he came home to an empty house. I think that adds to his neediness, because now he doesn't have anyone to tease or pounce on.

So that ends the saga. 63 hours in the tree, 18 hours of rainy, 50-degree weather, and 23 people involved in rescue attempts/ideas, the little nutball is out of the tree.

emails

This is the email I wish I had written...

"I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year.

Thanks to you, I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose (Although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a big hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Have a wonderful day.

Oh, and by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late."

traffic.

http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-i80-may05-cn,0,6137281.column

I thought I was never going to escape from Pennsylvania last night. But I managed.

jaci velasquez

Funny how you're still my sweet fairytale, funny how you're still my dream...

Don't waste time cause we don't have forever.

~Jaci Velasquez